Menopause and Facial Hair – Now There’s Help

Cactus Hairs © lynette sheppard

Cactus Hairs © lynette sheppard

I will never forget the first time I felt it – a hair. Poking out from my chin. As if perimenopause had not visited enough indignities upon me, now I was growing a beard. I briefly thought about joining a circus, but thought better of it and plucked the offender with a pair of tweezers.

Another of our goddesses, petite and gorgeous, shared at an annual meeting that her son caught her plucking an errant menohair one day. “Nice beard, Mom,” he quipped. It felt like a new low.

After a couple of years, I no longer needed the tweezers. It just went away, like so many of the unwanted menopause symptoms. I am happy to report that there is now a product that just might help perimenopausal women past the bearded lady stage more easily. Enjoy this guest blog by the kind folks at Inhibitif. And be sure to enter to win a free bottle -details at the end of the post.

Menopause and Facial Hair – Why Inhibitif’s Face Serum Can Help
For many menopausal women, an increase in unwanted facial hair is common. About 30 percent of women report unwanted hair on the face.  This increase is typically called hypertrichosis, and is seen in areas where visible hair is usually seen in men. The hairs themselves have always been there, but as a result of hormonal changes related to menopause, they are brought up to the surface.

Many women who are not accustomed to removing this hair turn to traditional methods of hair removal, such as waxing, threading, plucking and even costly laser hair removal. While these methods are great for temporarily removing hair, there is a product which can help cut down the amount of times where hair removal is needed.

INHIBITIF’ s Face Serum can be combined with most hair removal mechanisms to make them needed less frequently with less irritation and with better results. The face serum works as follows. After you remove the hair on your face from either shaving, waxing, threading or the method of your choice, apply it twice daily on the affected area. Use INHIBITIF’s Face Serum twice daily as part of your regular beauty routine as the first step before other topical creams. Use alongside your usual depilatories for the first 8 weeks applying on shaved, waxed or threaded facial areas until hair growth, density and thickness are visibly reduced.

Facial hair during menopause can come up as a shock to many women who have never dealt with it before. But you aren’t alone and Inhibitif’s Face Serum can help you tackle the hair growth which you shouldn’t have to deal with!

Pack Shot - Face Serum - v2 copy

Inhibitif’s Face Serum:

Visibly minimizes hair regrowth
Reduces need for frequent hair removal
Visible results from 2 weeks
Reduces irritation & redness
Targets ingrown hairs
Hydrates with Hyaluronic Acid
Suitable for all skin types
You can visit their website by clicking here.

The serum is only $19.99 USD available at inhibitif.com

Inhibitif has sent us a bottle of their serum to give away to a lucky menopause goddess. All you have to do to enter is to LIKE Menopause Goddess FB page and the Inhibitif FB page. And if you go so far as to tell us your funniest facial “hair” story, we’ll give you two chances at the drawing. So get liking and get rid of that hairy problem. We will draw and announce the winner on Saturday Dec. 20th.

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Acupuncture Works to Reduce Menopause Hot Flashes

Agave Healing © lynette sheppard

Agave Healing © lynette sheppard


Jessica Cranwell shares how acupuncture can be used to treat hot flashes in this guest blog post. Enjoy!

Acupuncture Works to Reduce Menopause Hot Flashes
One of the most uncomfortable of the myriad signs and symptoms of menopause is hot flashes. However, the findings of a new study suggests that the frequency and severity of hot flashes in menopausal women can be reduced through acupuncture.

Hot Flashes:
Also known as hot flushes, when hot flashes occur a menopausal woman experiences sudden heat all over the body. Signs include red blotches on the back, arms, and chest; redness on the neck and face, and cold shivers or heavy sweating. Although a number of health conditions may cause hot flashes, they are more common in women undergoing menopause.

Medication for Hot Flashes:
Hormone therapy, the use of medication that features progesterone or estrogen, is the most effective medication for treating hot flashes. However. the treatment can enhance the risk of certain health conditions, such as heart diseases, stroke and cancer. In a study published in the Menopause journal recently, scientists wanted to determine the effect of acupuncture on the severity and frequency of hot flashes in women going through menopause.

Acupuncture
Acupuncture is a 2500 year old modality of alternative medicine. It deploys the use of a series of procedures to stimulate anatomical body points as a way of healing. Thin metallic needles are commonly used in acupuncture; they penetrate the skin when in use. Often, this technique of alternative medicine is used to boost weight loss, reduce inflammation and treat chronic pain.

Acupuncture for Reduced Frequency and Severity of Hot Flashes:
104 studies were analyzed by a research team to determine acupuncture’s effectiveness in reducing menopausal hot flashes. 12 of the studies that involved 869 menopausal women, whose ages ranged from 40 to 60 were incorporated in the team’s research. The women were subjected to different kinds of acupuncture, such as eletroacupuncture, acupressure, ear acupuncture, laser acupuncture and the traditional acupuncture medicine practiced by the Chinese.

Results of the Investigation:
The research team’s investigators determined that the women who received acupuncture treatment experienced a decrease in the frequency and severity of hot flashes for as long as 3 months. Moreover, irrespective of the acupuncture sessions, doses or even treatment duration a study subject (woman) received, they gained much from the treatment with respect to hot flashes. However, the team of researchers pointed out that both true and sham acupuncture had a positive effect on the frequency of hot flashes.

Conclusion:
Although the research team failed to explain the reason why acupuncture aided in the reduction of hot flashes in women experiencing menopause, they hypothesized that this type of alternative medicine stimulates a decrease in the beta-endorphin levels in the body. Beta-endorphin is a neuropeptide located in the nervous system’s central and peripheral cells found within the brain’s hypothalamus. According to the scientists, a reduction in the beta-endorphin levels triggers the release of the CGRP (Calcitonin Gene-related Peptide). This peptide plays an integral role in the regulation of body temperature.

Therefore, it seems that acupuncture works to reduce menopausal hot flashes.

Author Bio:
I am Jessica Cranwell, I am a Blogger and Freelancer, writer by profession and I love to know new things which I am aware of that, so from child hood, I stared reading books and blogs. With that experience now I am started writing the articles for blogs which are related to Travel, Auto, Lifestyle, Education and Health. As of now I am doing research of Ni cards.

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Eliminate Hot Flashes Naturally

Flower Essence © lynette sheppard

Flower Essence © lynette sheppard

Hot Flash Eliminator is a wonderful product that works for many women, so we were anxious to check it out. One of our goddesses is still suffering some intense hot flashes, but did not want to up her hormones. She was the perfect person to try this natural remedy.

And the verdict? It’s working! She is not sure if it is the placebo effect or the healing energies of Hot Flash Eliminator, but doesn’t care why. Just that it works. Big thumbs up!

Hot Flash Eliminator’s healing effects come from a number of exotic flower essences, further energized with Reiki energy. Because it contains no phytoestrogens, it is safe for use by those with cancer, MS, or those taking estrogen suppressing drugs such as Tamoxifen or Evista.

Taken under the tongue, it relieves hot flashes within 15 seconds or less. (How I wish I’d had this when I was having those self immolating flashes years ago.) And get this, the Willow-Glen Folks offer a money back guarantee.

Since I was provided two bottles of Hot Flash Eliminator, now that our Menopause Goddess has tried it successfully (what a lucky little guinea pig she is), that means I have one bottle left.

So we are offering this remaining bottle to a lucky reader. All you need to do is “Like” on Facebook both Menopause Goddess Blog and The Eliminators. After liking, just send your mailing address and email to me at lynette@9points.com. If you’ve already “liked” Menopause Goddess Blog, then just “like” the Eliminators. Winner will be drawn on Saturday, December 6.

That’s all there is to this contest. After all, we know better than anyone that hot flash sufferers have neither the energy nor inclination to submit an essay or jump through hoops to get relief. So “like” away and we’ll draw the name of the lucky winner. And if you just want to go straight to relief? Visit their website to purchase your own Hot Flash Eliminator right away.

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5 Keys to Effectively Manage Weight during Menopause and Beyond

Holiday Table © lynette sheppard

Holiday Table © lynette sheppard


Here it comes, Thanksgiving (in the US, at least.) Wherever you are on this pretty blue planet, holidays are in the offing. A time for family, fun, and feasting. And fear – of the numbers shooting up on the scale. Pamela Brown shares her best weight management tips for Menopause Goddesses in this timely guest post. Enjoy it – and have a joyful Thanksgiving full of gratitude.

5 Keys to Effectively Manage Weight during Menopause and Beyond
Do you want to feel sexy, desirable, energetic, and strong all throughout life, no matter what? Just because you are in menopause transition doesn’t mean that life stops; in fact, life is just beginning anew.

When it comes to taking charge of your body and life after 40, there are 5 key areas that if addressed will leave you feeling healthier, happier, and more satisfied in life.

5 Keys to Body and Life Transformation Success:

1. Hormone balance
This is a very necessary and primary step if you want to lose weight during menopause. Without getting your hormones working in harmony with each other, it will be harder to lose the excess weight you desire to lose.

Visit a competent hormone specialist that will test all hormone levels and help you find healthy, alternative ways to get all back into balance.

2. Stress reduction, both internal and external
Stress can include low self-esteem, low body-image, lack of social support, work-related and family stress, etc… Stress leads to excessive weight gain, not to mention hormone imbalance which prevents weight loss.

When you deny yourself self-care, such as movement, relaxation, fun, and any other enjoyment in life, you immediately turn to substitutes. These substitutes, when done excessively, can further keep your desired body away from grasp. Examples of these substitutes include food, drinking, drugs, and even sex.

Also, when you don’t do things to lower stress, your stress hormones rise drastically, which helps you to gain more weight, regardless if you eat or not. It also becomes harder to lose weight, even when you’re exercising or eating healthy.

3. Personal development
Are you working to develop a positive mental attitude towards menopause, your body, the exercise you do, or the food you eat? For instance, do you exercise because you want to be a better woman and have a more fulfilling life, or do you do it only for appearance reasons?

Or, do you see food as fuel to keep your body moving efficiently, or as fat calories? Personal development is necessary to transform how you think and feel about yourself. Those thoughts and feelings you carry about yourself determines the food you eat, the exercise you do, your lifestyle behaviors and health.

Body transformation becomes easier when you build a strong personal foundation from which to begin.

4. Movement
If you are not in a structured exercise program, how do you find ways to be more physically active? Do you make common household duties into intense exercise sessions, such as performing squats while putting up groceries?

Do you try to get into more yard work, or take walks around the block with your children or grandchildren? Movement is necessary if you want to feel complete, sane, relaxed, balanced, strong, and capable.

Get creative and find more ways to move each day!

5. Nutrition awareness
We are so busy these days that many times we don’t pay attention to what we put in our mouths, especially if you have family, career, and personal obligations to fulfill each day.

When you slow down and pay attention to what you are about to place into your mouth, and why you are eating those foods, you are better able to change any unhealthy eating behaviors you may practice daily. You can’t change what you don’t understand.

So, if you want to create the best life and body possible during menopause, follow these 5 keys to success. Movement and nutrition is important, but neglecting personal development, hormone balance, and stress reduction will make your journey harder and lower motivation to get healthier or lose weight. What areas do you need to work on? Please feel free to leave your comments below!

Bio: Pamela Brown, The Body Confidence Fitness Coach, helps women over 40 who are dissatisfied with their bodies and having problems losing weight to build the confidence and inner strength to create the extraordinary body and life you deserve and desire. If you want to keep in touch, then subscribe to Pamela’s free online fitness and magazine at www.pamelabrowncoaching.com.

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A Menopause Goddess Poem

White Ginger Blossoms © lynette sheppard

White Ginger Blossoms © lynette sheppard


Menopause Goddess and talented metalsmith artist and poet Nancy Lee shares this humorous vignette with us. Enjoy!

Over 50 Fan Club
By Nancy Lee

The molecules
in my room
are being whipped about
by a tiny small fan
for the pleasure
of my skin.
The insistent frequency
whispers its promises
and fools me
into a greater comfort
than this Lothario fan
can actually provide.
Yet, nightly, my sentinel
is faithfully summoned
to purr fake comfort
into my ear
and imperceptible coolness
onto my menopause skin.

Check out Nancy’s website – click here. Her tagline is Bringing Dreams to Life in Metal. Love that!

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Approaching Menopause – Help for the Journey

Setting Out © lynette sheppard

Setting Out © lynette sheppard

This latest guest post comes to us from a Menopause Goddess down under: Pamela Lund. Pamela is a Menopause coach – how wonderful that we can be accompanied on the Big M journey by a knowledgable guide. Enjoy her insights.

Approaching Menopause – Help for the Journey
My journey towards menopause was one of confusion, overwhelming tiredness, an emotional roller coaster and a feeling of being invisible. I had anxiety attacks and hot flushes. I had no idea what was happening to me. There was no information available that I could find. I thought I was having a ‘nervous breakdown’. It wasn’t until I saw three women interviewed on TV about what it felt like to turn 50 that I realised I was not alone.
This was 20 years ago and HRT was the latest and greatest invention. I tried it. It did not work for me, causing me massive headaches.

Eventually I found Lesley Kenton’s book “Passage to Power”. I was so excited – I wasn’t going mad! This was a time of real change; of reassessing my life. I set out on a ‘journey to myself’.

By now Gail Sheehy had written her book “New Passages” which I also found very helpful. I had re-read her original one “Passages” and realised that she was much younger than 50 when she had written it because I could not relate to it.

I decided to take some time out and sit in the sun and also found myself a good naturopath and a counsellor. I had no idea how I would survive financially but just trusted the universe and was able to house sit a friend’s house and rent mine out for 12 months.

During this time of introspection I realised that I wanted to help other women understand what was happening to them at this time. It took me two years before I felt able to begin training as a Life Coach and then a Counsellor.

Most women I have worked with over the last 14 years have no idea what is happening to them. It is different for every person but some of the things hundreds of women have said to me is that ‘they feel invisible’; they feel like they are on an ‘emotional roller coaster’; they feel past their ‘use by date’; and they feel angry for no particular reason. Some even feel depressed.

Peri-menopause is a journey; a time of change. Our mothers and grandmothers weren’t wrong when they called it ‘the change’. The time leading up to menopause, our last period, is the other side of puberty. Just as puberty is the journey into our womanhood, peri-menopause is the journey into our ‘second adulthood’, our authentic selves – a time to be who we truly are. However, before we can do that we have to let go of the past disappointments, resentments and pain which stop us moving forward.

As a coach specialising in this area, I work with women who feel overwhelmed and invisible: who feel like their emotions are all over the place and feel exhausted by their physical symptoms. My experience has shown that the more emotional baggage we carry, the worse our physical symptoms are. I help them see this time of change as a great opportunity to develop their self confidence, passion and a new direction in life: to not only feel great about themselves, but to have a renewed zest for life.
Menopause is not an illness that has to be endured. It is a time to discover more about who you are and what you want in your life.

I have a free giveaway on “Dealing with Change” on my website so if any of you ladies would like more information on dealing with change please visit my website and download it: Approachingmenopause.com

I also would appreciate any one who would like to help me out by filling out a questionnaire on my website. It shouldn’t take longer than 30 minutes. Just go to Approachingmenopause.com and look for Questionnaire. It is to help with my market research.

This is such a great blog, very inspirational and informative, wish there had been something like this when I was going through it.
Pamela Lund

photopamela4

 

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Pretty in Pink

Menopause Goddesses Sleep in Pink

Menopause Goddesses Sleep in Pink

The Menopause Goddess annual gathering was (we think) the best one ever. None of us actually owned pink pj’s but we were so intrigued by Estroven’s offer to donate $250 to the Avon walk for breast cancer that we all went out and bought some. Rae and I even bought 2 sets so there would be extra’s in case a goddess forgot hers or didn’t have time to shop.

There were even some pink pom poms and sparkly cat’s ears spread about. By the way, Estroven’s offer is still open – $250 donation for a photo uploaded of your own Sleep Pink party by Oct 31. And if a party isn’t in the cards? You can upload a selfie in your pink pj’s and they will donate $100.

Visit SleepPink.com for more info on hosting a sleep pink party and to upload your photo. I’m beginning to like the color pink, just sayin’.

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The Right Yoga For Menopause

Buddha sparkled

The right yoga for you? Part 2 of a guest blog series by yoga therapist Allannah Law.

In the last post, I talked about how yoga can ease the symptoms of both perimenopause and menopause and I mentioned that not all yogas are created equal when it comes to this time in our life. This fact sparked quite a bit of interest and many questions, so I thought I’d explain about the different types of yoga we can practise in the west and exactly who these yogas are beneficial for and why.

When it comes to yoga we are now, in the cities of the Western world, presented with a dizzying array of options. Bikram, hot yoga, Dynamic Flow, Astanga, Anusara, Hatha, Integral, the list goes on and on and well…on. You could be forgiven if you are feeling a bit flummoxed by choice, so here is some background to help you make a considered and informed decision.  The word Yoga means to unite. You can add your own interpretation, but the accepted Western premise is that yoga means to unite body and mind. Thus, the prevalence of Hatha yoga. Hatha means sun – Ha and moon – tha, literally uniting night and day, masculine and feminine, yin and yang.

Hatha yoga is the predominant yoga taught in the West. The Asanas – postures- are there to bring you to a point of balance in the body and mind. That’s why hatha yoga is considered good for disease in the body or anxiety and depression. So hatha yoga includes all of the aforementioned yogas including Bikram etc. However, Hatha Yoga  has come to mean a gentle form of yoga, a yoga with a lot of restorative poses that are held for some time along with meditation and pranayama (yogic breath).

Bikram/Hot yoga is a hot form of yoga, practised in a heated room to simulate the conditions of practising in India. Bikram has a set sequence of postures- which are now patented and you are placed in the class according to your ability. It is categorically not suited for women experiencing symptoms of peri or menopause such as anxiety or hot flashes. This is because both anxiety and hot flushes are aggravated by…heat. Meaning that the practise of Bikram may lead a woman with these conditions into a far worse state. This is a yoga where you need to be mindful of overstretching and blood pressure issues. This type of yoga is also not suitable for fertility issues or pregnancy.

Astanga Yoga  is based on a sequence of postures given to Sri Patabi Jois by his teacher Krishnamacharya. It is dynamic in nature and you flow from one posture to another. It has several levels which you advance through. Bear in mind that these postures were given to Jois in his youth, so Astanga is not appropriate for everyone. Its dynamic nature can mean that if you are a competitive or anxious personality, it can exacerbate your state of mind ( this has been my personal experience). Therefore, this another form of yoga that may be inappropriate for women in peri/menopause. However, if you are a dancer or you suffer from depression, you may get a lot out of this form of yoga.  Dynamic Flow or Vinyasa Yoga are similar to Astanga, in that they flow from pose to pose, but without the same sequence.

Iyengar is again based on a practice given to BKS Iyengar by Krishnamacharya. It was again a practice given to Iyengar as a very young man and will not suit everyone. However, Iyengar yoga uses a lot of props to support the postures and is very focused on technique, making it an excellent yoga for beginners, as well as athletes and those people with injuries and illness. Iyengar teachers are also very well trained and some are very competent at dealing with issues of peri/menopause. Caution is advised here though, as many of the poses are held for a very long length of time and can be aggravating to the mind/body.

Integral, Satchynanda and Shadow Yoga all hail from the Sivananda lineage. These yogas have varying degrees of difficulty but they also have a large focus on meditation, chanting and pranayama   They are all very beautiful practices which will take you to a different level of yoga. They are all excellent yogas for women in this phase of their life – with the exception of shadow yoga- which is a very strong practice. They are great if you are searching for the spiritual context of yoga and also if you suffer from anxiety, as they encourage you to look within.

Viniyoga is a form of yoga developed by Mohan, another student of Krishnamacharya. This yoga is based on the principles of Yoga therapy, which Krishnamacharya moved towards in the later years of his life- believing that yoga should be taught one on one. This is a deeper practice with many repetitions, excellent for those with mental or physical illness or disease and wonderful for those who suffer from high stress. The yoga of Desikachar  Krishnamachrya’s son, is sometimes also called Viniyoga, but this is incorrect , as Desikachar refers to it as Agama yoga. Desikachar studied with his father for over 30 years and is probably best placed to pass on the many wonderful teachers of the great Hatha yoga sage.  Both these yogas were developed by teaching students one on one and are very appropriate for women in peri/menopause as they take into account the woman’s personal state.

Restorative yogas, such as yin yoga are ideal for menopausal women. Cooling, relaxing poses are practiced which are conducive to soothing the mind, body and spirit. These yogas are about putting something back, rather than challenging yourself. (Menopause may well be challenging enough!)

So there you have it! there are many worthy yogas I haven’t been able to cover –  Dru Yoga, Oki Do Yoga  yoga of the seasons), Yin yoga, Kundalini etc – but I hope it gives you a brief, basic insight into the sometimes confusing yogic world.  Of course the best form of hatha yoga for a woman at our stage is a yoga developed purely for perimenopause and menopause. One that encourages strength building for healthy bones and blood pressure; one that seeks to balances unruly hormones (such as excessive or diminished oestrogen) and one that encourages the restoration of the body and the quieting of anxious, busy minds. With that in mind I have included a link to a free video of a relaxation technique I swear by, to use when you feel like you aren’t getting enough sleep, you’re exhausted, or you want to crawl out of your skin. Enjoy!

Namaste
Allannah

P.s. There are other forms of yoga besides Hatha, if you interested ask me a question and I will  do my best to fill you in on the other forms.

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Is Pink the New Black?

Pink Roses © lynette sheppard

Pink Roses © lynette sheppard

Pink will be the new black at our annual menopause goddess gathering this year. Estroven (makers of Estroven Menopause remedy) will donate $250 to the Avon walk for breast cancer when we host a Sleep Pink party and upload the photo of us all dressed in our pink jammies.

Since we already have an agenda and activities, it’s a no brainer for the Goddesses. However, it’s easy for any group of women to host their own Sleep Pink party. Invites and suggestions for decor, food, and party favors can be downloaded at Sleeppink.com. All you need to do is set a date to get your women friends together for a fun evening. What could be simpler? And we all need more girlfriend time, just sayin’. (Note: the deadline for submitting photos is October 31.)

Look for our photo here on the blog, too after our meeting the first weekend in October. Pink might just be my new favorite color.

 

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Oh Man, Oh Man, This Menopause!

Daisies © lynette sheppard

Daisies © lynette sheppard

When I read Anne Bardsley’s guest post, I laughed so hard I peed. Which happens much less often since I started doing my Kegels. What I’m saying is that she takes a hilarious look at Menopause and aging – I can’t wait to read her new book. Thankfully, it’s available now so I won’t have to wait long. I’m sure you’ll agree. Oh, and go to the bathroom before you read any further. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Oh Man, Oh Man, This Menopause!

In my thirties, I never thought about aging. I took for granted that I’d be youthful, toned, and moist my entire life. Before I officially entered menopause, I thought the most I had to look forward to was vaginal dryness. That’s enough to cheer up any gal! Little did I know, the other symptoms would be life-altering, to say the least.

My mother never complained about menopause. She also had a child on Halloween and went back to work ten days later. We hadn’t even eaten all of our Halloween candy! I come from strong and crazy stock. I’m not one of those women who suffer in silence. I’ve been known to yell “Hot Flash!” the very moment I start to swelter. This could be at work, church, or grocery shopping. I have fanned myself with gossip magazines, church bulletins, and ads for the Big Blue pill. If it’s nearby, I will confiscate it and turn it into a fan.

The memory loss has been the most debilitating for me. I now carry a notebook in my bra to write things down. It works well unless I have a hot flash. Then I end up with a bunch of smeared papers and blue ink on my breasts.

I have no memory of a single important fact. I can, however, tell you that peanut butter is on sale, and I know the names of my dogs. Last week my husband walked in and I told him he looked vaguely familiar. He offered to re-introduce himself to me. I told him I didn’t like fresh men. He said, “Oh yes, you do!” But I couldn’t remember. He did have a nice smile though.

Passwords are also a nightmare. I have to get very basic, yet creative.
My bank account is now: “Where’s my damn money?”
My pin number for my debit card is 5678 because it sounds like a dance routine. I even do a little disco when I punch in 5678. If you snap your fingers it has a real nice beat to it.
I use code for my doctors, too!
My physician’s office is: “Eat More. Be Happy.”
The gynecologist: “Get out of there NOW.”

Sleeping is a challenge. I sleep under a ceiling fan with the A/C cranked extremely low. At precisely 2 a.m. my husband rolls over yelling, “For the love! You’re burning my skin again.” Big sissy.

At precisely 2:30 a.m. I go into a deep chill freeze. I have condensation all over this poor body of mine. With all the shivering, you’d think I’d shake off a few pounds. That has yet to happen, but I am ever hopeful.

This brings me to my biggest malady. Where did this belly come from? I never had a belly. I had hip bones that stuck out like fish bones. Now it looks like I swallowed a fishing boat.

I’ve tried being nice to it, “Good morning, Big Belly. I love you.”  I do some effleurage and stroke it calmly. It knows I’m lying. It seems I have a big intelligent belly with a high emotional IQ. She weeps until I feed her cinnamon buns. Poor Belly!

I’m convinced there will be a new miracle treatment for women in this stage soon. I suggest it be in the form of a chocolate martini with some gingko sprinkled on top, a splash of fiber, and a mild sedative. I want to keep my emotionally intelligent belly sedated for as long as possible.

Happy Hot Flashes!

anne2

Anne Bardsley is a humor writer, blogger, and author of How I Earned My Wrinkles: Musings on Marriage, Motherhood, and Menopause. Over the years, her work has appeared in several publications. More would be available if she was not so busy pondering ways to firm her thighs. This uses a huge amount of her already limited brain cells. She barely survived raising five kids. They were all worth the labor pains in the long run and have given her wonderful grandchildren. Anne currently lives in St. Petersburg, Florida with her husband of thirty-five years and two spoiled cockapoos.

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