In your 2os/30s your clock may be ticking to give birth to a child. At midlife your clock is ticking to give back to the world.

On that day I received a very disturbing phone call. It was from a young friend that I had been very close to when he was in grade school and on in to high school. Like all young people, he got on with his life – married, joined the Army, and had a child. Over the years, it was only the rare phone call, here and there, that kept us in touch. So while he was living his young life, I went thru menopause. He called finally and seemed to have a lot of time to "just visit" (and as we all know, talking to a male is sometimes very much like pulling teeth.) Then he got to the meat of it. He listed all the losses he had recently had; he has an injured knee that he has had surgery on and it may not med completely. He suffers from short term memory loss from being in bombings from working in Iraq and, of course, is also suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome … Wow! He never once complained or even mentioned any of this thru out the years and he is on his second re-up in ther Army. So what do you say????? What can you say??????? So many losses. SAY?????

Then the wise woman in me spoke up from the perspective of her own losses. "A lot has been taken away from you, but you are still William. That has not been taken away and never will. You are still loving, funny, kind, etc. etc. Instead of thinking about all the things you can’t do, focus on the things you CAN do…… It will change how you do things and what things you will do. But life goes on and change comes with it and now you have a lot more in your life to do and experience. You have to go and concentrate on the things you CAN accomplish and those things that make you happy." It was a moving conversation.

Where did all this wisdom come from??????? I am a menopausal woman who with the help of her goddess friends has gone through this life change with a better quality of life and while that can never compare to the losses that my young friend has suffered as a young soldier, I realize that the skills I have learned can help my young friend. My new fertility has grown a new and deeper compassion for loss in all its forms.

So, which goddess do I relate to most right now? Kuan Shih Yin – the goddess of mercy and compassion, hearing and reaching out to those in need.

When musing over the term fertile, the image of dark rich soil comes to mind. One of my strongest memories was of my grandfather (a farmer) having me grasp a handful of such soil and as the grains slowly poured through my fingers, he talked to me of how all that grows depended on the soil and water. Water was consistant however, the richer the soil, the greater the potential for growth. And with that growth comes widespread benefits for the good of all.

One of the greatest joys I find during this phase of my life, is the freedom to let go of what others might think, what I "should" be doing and what is expected of me. In hindsight, living life as such, my path was very limited – as if I had blinders on.

It is through a freer way of thinking and doing that I find myself more fertile than ever. When I talk with younger women struggling through hardships we have all experienced in one form or another, I know that I can have a calming and reassuring voice. Spreading the seed if you will.

Dar Willimas wrote a terrific and inspiring song called, "You’re Aging Well." Throughout the song, the voices of wise women are congratulating a women that has broken free of the restrictions life has put upon her and now, with her new freedom she hears a symphony of music, speaks freely and feels lifting joy. She then becomes one of the voices for other women and joins in the growth of those to come.

It is through such a manner that I know I am the most fertile I have ever been.