Comments on: What We Wish We’d Known Sooner…About Men

By: Barb

Barb — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 03:30:26 +0000

My own daughter recently blamed me for her own distrust of men. Her dad and I divorced when she was 15, a tough enough age on its own! I had been married for half of my life by then so knew little about dating. What I thought I learned was that men seemed put on this planet with the sole purpose of hurting ME! I adopted the “men are pigs” attitude and evidently didn’t do a very good job of hiding my feelings from my daughter.

Even when I met my current husband, I was almost WAITING for him to hurt me. I often wondered how it would manifest. It wasn’t until one day that I had my eyes open. My man asked me if I could just quit thinking of him as “a man” and look at him as an individual…a person! I don’t think I had done that before. When I did, I was able to quit waiting for the other shoe to drop and enjoy the companionship we shared.

So what would I tell my younger goddess in training? Realize that men ARE different, yes, but remember that they are also individuals. Just like you and I are. Not all blondes are bimbos, not all women are manipulating, not all rich people are demanding snobs, and not all men are pigs!

By: Carol J.

Carol J. — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 03:29:48 +0000

there is an old saying women mourn and men replace.. men need the action of doing something.. women need to think about it …

By: lynette Sheppard

lynette Sheppard — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 03:28:59 +0000

Barb, That is an absolutely brilliant insight! Thank you so much for sharing it with our daughters and goddesses in training, heck thanks for sharing it with all of us! Men are different – but that’s no reason to condemn them or to put them on a pedestal. Men and women need to work together, each using their strengths. And appreciating one another. My husband and I have a pact: no matter what we do that seems irritating or incomprehensible to the other, we always try to think the best of each other. Then we can have a true dialogue or discussion. We avoid a huge amount of the women-men misunderstandings that way. And we learn and grow a lot. Thanks again for your wonderful advice.

By: Theresa

Theresa — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 03:28:28 +0000

I for one, am thrilled that we are different. And my husband is probably beyond elation for the same reason. We just shake our heads in wonder and wait to see what the next surprise will be.

By: Betty Zahler

Betty Zahler — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 03:27:50 +0000

I have always thought the so- called weaker sex is not weaker! Although, we are wired differently than our male counterparts they are essential to the balance of the human race. My spouse is my helper, lover and most of all, my best friend. How very glad i am that we are not the same. Everyday i learn something new about my spouse and it brings both joy and happiness to me.

By: Anne Wheeler

Anne Wheeler — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 03:26:58 +0000

It’s true. They are a mystery. O.K. I married my husband bec/ he was cute and nice and smart and HE SMELLED REALLY GOOD!. If you haven’t read up on pheromones, you really ought to, they control us in subliminal, subconscious ways. He has always had a really attractive scent (to me). So go figure. I’m sure this is evolutional, but I’ve always had a sensitive snozz. And he is also intelligent, somewhat sensitive, intelligent, etc, etc. I was raised in a nutty family, where my Dad sniffed our heads on a daily basis. And I realized I also did this w/ my children. They smelled delicious. My Dad used it as a gauge for if you needed a shampoo w/ your bath, which he was in charge of, but I am so olfactory! How have I put up w/ my spouse for 30+ years? Well, partly, I think my primal scent guided me to him. Is this helpful for younger women? I think nought. But I guess the bottom line is, if he doesnt smell really right, then he isn’t good for you. Lynnette, feel free to laugh and then blow this one off.
A.

By: Rae

Rae — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 03:26:18 +0000

Ah, men…… life without them would so dull. Men have alway played a big role in my life, most of my best friends were men. What to past on ? don’t know, I really just stayed in the realm of what feels good, if after a while I didn’t feel good, I moved on. Not much wisdom, I guess, but it worked for me. I found a guy that made me feel, really, really good and am still with him after 30 yrs!!!!