Menopause Makes Us Squirrely


I’ve started collecting Menopause Moments; real-life vignettes of all the wild and weird sequelae of the Big M. Why?  Because when these RIDICULOUS things happen, we mistakenly believe we are the only ones who have ever been afflicted so bizarrely. And that’s just not true. Thankfully!  Weirdness loves company – especially of the girlfriend persuasion.

Here’s a stranger than fiction Menopause Moment starring my friend M. She just recently began the menopause transition but it already has twisted up her life in unimaginable ways. One normal/abnormal day, she suffered one of those mind-altering, body immolating hot flashes.  You know the ones – where you are boiling from the inside out.

She rushed into the bathroom where they have a pedestal type sink and turned on the cold water. Just splashing it on her face would have been like spitting on a forest fire, though, and she knew it.  So she took off her shoes, climbed up on the sink and plunged both hands and both feet into the sinkful of water.

As her volcanic level temperature was drifting down from eruption to ooze, her mate opened the door to see her all hunched up on the edge of the sink. “Wow!” he said. “You look like a menopausal squirrel.”  She looked down at herself, looked back up at him, and they both burst into  peals of laughter.

I’m telling you; we can’t make this stuff up!  It’s just too outside the normal realm of human experience. Yep, the Big M. It ain’t for sissies and it sure does make us squirrely. The good news?  Squirrels have a sense of humor. So share your menopausal moment – we could use the laugh! It’s the only thing getting us through.  That and chocolate. Let’s hear it for menopausal squirrels!

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3 Responses to Menopause Makes Us Squirrely

  1. Theresa November 7, 2009 at 11:11 pm #

    Olay – here is the moment. I practice real estate and was in the middle of negotiations between some contractors. At one point, as my inner temperature started boiling to the point where I was reminded of stories of folks blowing up from the inside out (some kind of combustion of which my pathetic brain cannot conjure the correct description), I realized that I was no longer hearing their words – just watching their lips move while I tried to figure out how to remain cool and calm in a professional manner. It didn’t work. I remember them both suddenly looking at me with looks of concern at which point, one of them asked if I was alright. Do you know what came out of my sophisticated, professional mouth? Check it out. I said, “No, I want to take off my clothes.”
    They both slowly began cautious backward movements to get the hell out of the room. No one has ever mentioned that conversation to this day.
    Keep on smiling.

  2. Lynette Sheppard November 9, 2009 at 11:50 am #

    Okay, that may be one of the best Menopause Moments to date. Ah Dignity. Where did it go? Off on permanent vacation along with the monthly cycles, I’m guessing.

  3. latisse April 11, 2010 at 3:22 pm #

    works for me

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