A few weeks, ago I was contacted by a producer from a new television show scheduled to air this fall and specifically geared to women. They’re planning to do a full hour on menopause (Yes, I know, we could use a full week or a year but who has the time?)
At any rate, the producer wanted recommendations for specific topics. I called and emailed but somehow we never connected. So it’s a mystery what might be those topics.
Here’s my hope, though. I hope that this program will break new ground – and cover some of the menopausal symptoms, problems, and heartaches that we never discuss in articles or interviews.
The Big Five topics that we always seem to hear about are these:
1. Hot flashes and night sweats.
2. Loss of sex drive
3. Depression and anger
4. Hormone replacement therapy: pros and cons; bioidentical vs synthetic
5. Natural remedies.
These are important issues and it’s wonderful that they have been addressed. Still, the topics about which Menopause Goddess Blog gets the most correspondence consist of another Five: the Forgotten Five. And there is more angst and desperation about each of these life altering manifestations than we hear about the aforementioned Big Five combined. It’s time to bring them out into the open.
The Forgotten Five: The Worst Menopause Symptoms You Never Heard About
1. Brain Fog This isn’t simply a memory problem. Our very ability to think, problem solve, and process information is compromised. It feels like we are literally losing our minds. And we don’t know if we will ever get them back. It is quite literally terrifying. Which brings us to:
2. Anxiety Whether we suddenly suffer from the night terrors, generalized anxiousness, or a sense of impending doom, anxiety can pervade our everyday life during perimenopause and menopause. Worse, those of us who have rarely been scared or jittery may suddenly worry about almost everything. Again, causing us to doubt our very sanity.
3. Hair Loss Women often associate hair with femininity. I know I did. So when my hair began thinning and falling out, I was panicked. And so many of our Menopause Goddess sisters have suffered the same condition. Dermatologists and hairdressers often tell us “It’s just hormonal.” Which is about as helpful as saying that Hurricane Katrina was “just a weather phenomenon.”
4. Fatigue A bone crushing fatigue can overtake you during perimenopause and menopause. I don’t know why – perhaps Changing on a molecular level (that’s how it feels) takes a lot out of us. Whatever the reason, it is a normal, common, miserable part of the menopause experience for many women.
5. Immune Dysfunction While menopause is a normal transition for a woman, it seems to take a toll. This may be the time that a woman has her first outbreak of Shingles (a herpes infection related to chicken pox). Or an illness comes out of nowhere like Rheumatoid Arthritis or a serious infection. (Half of our Menopause Goddess Group, a very healthy, active subset had this happen to them.)
So perhaps this new TV show will cover more than the Big Five when they air the menopause hour. Ideally, they’ll address some or all of the Forgotten Five. I certainly hope so. Now that would be a show worth watching!
So yes, I’ll e-mail a link to this blog entry to the producer and maybe, just maybe, we won’t cover the same ground again and again that’s already been covered.
(Even if the show doesn’t expand on these topics, we will. Right here. Stay tuned for ideas and help – women sharing wisdom, that’s what we are about.)




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Thank you for posting this. I’ve been perimenopausal for 2 years now, and am searching for more information on it; as well as how to stop my thinning hair and grow it back. I didn’t even realize that Brain Fog and Anxiety were symptoms of menopause! I’ve spent 10 years thinking the latter was due to my depression, and the former was due to my lack of brain power. I feel a little relief thanks to reading your article. I hope they continue with the show. More women need to be informed, and taught how to handle each stage. It’s very frightening.
Raquel, You are entirely welcome. I just can’t believe this is not common knowledge – and I wouldn’t have known were it not for our Menopause Goddess gatherings where we compared notes, commiserated, and helped one another. I can say this: speaking as the poster crone for Menopause – it will get better. Your hair will stabilize, though it will not be as thick as in your youth. (Search hair loss on the blog for lots more info), the brain fog will dissipate slowly, though again you won’t be as tack sharp as in your 20′s, and the anxiety eventually goes away. Whew. But it sucks while it is happening. It is just so helpful to find out that 1. It’s normal. and 2. it won’t last forever. I’ll post some helps and remedies next week. Deep breath -eat some chocolate. Hugs to you. Lynette
Hi Lynette,
I just knew I would find something new and useful here, yet again!
I would say every one of these affects me, but I am almost relieved to read the “anxiety” category because I have been pretty paranoid lately and often preoccupied with thoughts concerning my and others’ safety. As well, I find that I contemplate death and dying a great deal. I actually say things to myself like, if I get cancer, I would be okay with that, my life’s been pretty good so far, and I could die without too much trouble!
I used to think that was because of my father’s death and now, living with my 83 year old mother, but NOW I can lay this too at the door of Menopause!
Thanks! I’m so glad I’m not a crazy mess!
Love, Kat
Hi Kat! No worries (hah!) It’s completely normal. And weird. I have never been an anxious person so when out of the blue, I found myself obsessing – yes about friends and family’s safety, worst case scenarios – about even such mundane things as running out of cat food and ridiculous random concerns. The night terrors I finally dubbed the Fretliner Express – my own personal train to scary outcomes that traveled every night to scores of frightening destinations. I finally just breathed and laughed and asked myself – “What is really happening right now – in this moment?” When the answer was inevitably “nothing” – I could ignore if not stop it. After awhile, it faded like so many of the Menopause symptoms. Thanks for sharing. Love, Lynette
Thank you Lynette – for bringing attention to this – I would also like to add stomach issues – between diarrea, consitpation and bloating – I give up. Anybody else experiencing this? -
THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! I’m 45 and had a feeling I was starting peri-menopause a bit early around 40 (not to mention all the docs told me your too young) I digress. I have had horrible anxiety which is manageable during the day however night time is a whole other story. I have had that feeling of impending doom that occurs every night. It’s horrible. By morning I feel totally different. Lately I have been taking Xanax to control the anxiety but don’t want to become addicted to it. I hope this doesn’t go on for years. Thank you for posting this as I showed it to my husband who thought I was going nuts! (as did I)
Thank you for this information. Brain fog and total and utter fatigue are my main perimenopausal symptoms (i’m 46), and while I’ve been telling myself that’s the cause, I haven’t seen anything about this, so thank you for describing my symptoms exactly and helping me realise I’m not alone.
AGED 42 had these symptons for over 2 1/2 years.Anxiety, hot flushes, palpitations, depression, mood swings, fatigue, brain fog, increase in belly fat (although ive never been the thinnest of people) digestion problems, aches, headaches, heavy periods, dizziness, needing to go the toilet often and generally feeling like I’m on another planet. I think I’ve had it all. Thought i was going insane, but reading others symptoms I have decided to go to the doctors (yet again) and am putting forward my case and going to ask for HRT. What have I got to lose. I would like to wake up and feel normal again!
Way to go Jo! Sounds like a case of perimenopause to me! Good luck and keep us posted! Lynette
I have been getting anxiety and before menopause I never had anxiety. But also I have palpitations, hot flushes, mood swings, crying for no reason, headaches. I am looking forward to the end of menopause.
I don’t blame you, girlfriend. I can say that it does get better, so hang in there. Lynette
I have spent my entire adult life being confident and capable. Then menopause stepped in and I became the complete jelly I am today. I worry about everything, I have panic attacks and I’m constantly scared. Thank you for making me realise I’m not going mad, that there are others out there who feel like me and that this will eventually come to an end
Yes, Katrina. It’s so disconcerting to have your entire emotional makeup change. I went from scared of nothing to scared of everything. And it does, thankfully, get better. So hang in there – it’s a really weird roller coaster ride. And you’ll be so glad when it’s (mostly) over.
I have been going through this now for about 5 years, tried bio identical hormones but periods returned heavy and irregular. I have anxiety, negative thoughts and constant hot flashes, my period goes for months and then returns with the symptoms. I feel overwhelmed and shaky as well as the unbearable panic attacks. How long does this last ans what is the difference between menopause and peri-menopause. C
Menopause is technically when you have been without a period for a full year. And then you are post-menopausal – which weirdly makes it seem like you are Menopausal for a nanosecond. At any rate – the time period before this nanosecond is perimenopause. Many women have their most severe symptoms during the perimenopause phase, which can last up to ten years. However, the worst does diminish over time – when exactly is individual. I suggest going to your MD and getting your hormones checked – a 24 hour urine collection is very helpful. That can help narrow down where you are in the perimenopause/menopause continuum and may help decide where to go from here. I highly recommend seeing a holistic MD or nurse practitioner to discuss herbal and other alternatives if bioidentical hormones where unsatisfactory. Natural progesterone cream works for many women – 2 good brands are Natural Woman and Emerita’s Pro-Gest. Emerita sells a soy free preparation called Menopause Plus which many women have found to relieve symptoms. Put natural remedies in the search box of this blog to find out more. Good luck – and keep us posted! We really understand how you feel – to say it sucks is a gross understatement. The good news? It’s not permanent.