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Affirmations for Menopause Goddesses

By on June 14, 2009 in Emotional Menopause Symptoms, Life Changes & Stages, Positive Changes

My feelings about long plane rides have transformed since the Big M. I now LOVE to climb inside that metal tube and hunker down in my seat blissfully unavailable by phone, tweets, facebookings, email, or solicitors. I’ve even compared these rides to taking bubble baths – Calgon, take me away. (See blog entry of 6/21/08 "A Bubble Bath at 30,000 Feet).

What’s even better than a bubble bath, however, is a bubble bath and a good book. And Goddess-in Training (meaning perimenopausal) Diane Mierzwik’s new book, Weekly Affirmations for Pre-Menopausal Women was the best part of my latest stratospheric bubble bath.

She writes with humor and grace about the changes that afflict us all as we age and travel down the pathway toward menopause and midlife. She chronicles 52 weeks, from New Year to New Year, where her wry and funny observations culminate in an affirmation for each week. Her quirky illustrations complement each entry.

These are not affirmations that place unreal expectations for sainthood upon us or make us feel guilty for being, well, us. Instead, she gives us focus points toward acceptance of where we are and small nudges to who we might wish to become.

Here’s an excerpt to tempt you:
"Week 13
They say the best, given enough time, will rise to the top. So, I’m not sure why cellulite has such a bad rap.

Twenty years ago, I had smooth supple skin. I had "fat in all the right places." But, did I enjoy it? No, I obsessed with the extra two inches around my waist, the dimples in my bicep areas, the baby roll on my tummy. What I wouldn’t give for that body today, except diet and exercise, you know, sacrifice. The memory of that body is like an egg ready to hatch or explode into an extra 30 pounds around my midriff.

I imagine twenty years from now I will look back on my middle aged body and wish my days away for it like I wish I hadn’t eaten that cookie, but it smelt and tasted so good at the time.

This week, as the weather warms and the malls hang swim suits in the windows, I will love and appreciate the body I have today, cellulite and all, so twenty years from now I will not kick myself for not appreciating the beauty I had when I had it."

This is a must read for any woman confronting the Changes. My only complaint? The other passengers turning to stare at me when I erupted into laughter as I read all 52 weeks in a single sitting. But hey, they didn’t know that they were joining me in m bubble bath, so they’re forgiven.

Buy the book at Amazon. For more humor and heart, visit Diane’s blog at weeklyaffirmations.com.

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Menopause Goddess is All Atwitter … Almost

By on May 25, 2009 in Emotional Menopause Symptoms, Menopause & Emotion, Menopause in Community, Positive Changes

Once we’ve passed the hurdle of Changeophobia, we head down the tract to the next one. Before we even have time to congratulate ourselves on our flexibilty, up looms New Learning.

I had always thought of myself as a curious, interested, open kind of person. I liked learning – just about anything. Of course, that was when I had unlimited time left on this planet and seemingly unlimited energy to sample all its wares. The Big M brought those misconceptions to a screeching halt.

Like all the Venuses, I’m growing into the woman I want to be. And , alas, growing means having to learn new things. Because of finite time left, and less energy than in my youth, these new things must now pass the pros and cons of worthiness. Are they useful? HOW useful? Do they take up too much time for too little return? Are they fun? (Yep, fun has to figure in there somewhere. Living my second childhood demands a fun factor.) Do they offer anything of value to me? To others? Are they a distraction that gets me off track, off the Prime Directive of my life so to speak?

My Prime Directive is to boldly go where no menopausal goddess has gone before, in the company of other menopausal goddesses, sharing humor, heart, and help. Creating community and support for a transition that no one should travel alone.

With equal amounts terror and titillation, I ventured into the social networking world. (Thanks, Jonathan!) I was uncertain whether this would be helpful and useful to me and my sister goddesses or whether I’d be overwhelmed and lost. The first day was purely frightening as my inbox filled to bursting. "What have I done?" I thought bleakly. And then dear Sharon Venus inadvertantly came to my rescue with a short note declaring, "Seriously afraid of Facebook. Help." I laughed out loud at my own thoughts being voiced so perfectly. And then I knew how we’d get through it.

Together. That’s how we’ve handled the menopause transition. After the Big M, we ought to be able to handle a little hurdle like social networking. Sharon Venus and I talked on the phone, shared our fears and hopes, and made a plan to move ahead. (We also have become virtual office mates, since working at home means there’s no one in the next cubicle to help or push when needed. We’ve created virtual cubicles.)

This is how I’ve come to be all a Twitter, synced in on Linked in, and face forward on Facebook. I’ve seen the use in the social networking craze and how it can support the Prime Directive. I can now "tweet" a good link or quick tip for menopause goddesses from my freaking cell phone. I can join or create groups where menopause info can be shared, and hopefully share resources with more women. Sure the learning curve is steep at times, but I’m not afraid to "tweet" for help. Through cross-platform cross pollination, there’ll be more women sharing wisdom about Menopause.

Speaking of help, please fill out the quick survey I developed to get info on revamping this website. Click Here to take survey to help me make this site better.

You can follow me at Twitter Lynette’s Twitter
or join me at Lynette’s Facebook or
Lynette’s Linked In

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Menopause Is Out of The Box

By on May 14, 2009 in Emotional Menopause Symptoms, Hot Flashes, Physical Menopause Symptoms

Menopause goddess Theresa Venus turned me on to this hilarious Jack In The Box commercial. When consciousness about The Big M invades prime time, commercials, AND fast food? America is paying attention! Yep, we are finally going to be talking about it. And laughing, weeping, and bitching. Take a look.

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Menopause Is A Scary Business

By on August 9, 2008 in Emotional Menopause Symptoms, Menopause & Emotion, Menopause in Community

Anxiety may literally be the most unnerving of the emotional traumas visited upon menopausal women; certainly it’s one of the least recognized or discussed. Although I touched upon it in a previous blog entry "(Menopause Has Got Me Worried" Sept. 7, 2007), it seems like it is time to talk about it again. Just recently, I’ve encountered a number of goddesses struggling with this frightening symptom.

First and most important, anxiety that comes out of nowhere when you enter perimenopause and menopause is NORMAL! Not every woman will suffer it, but those who do can take heart that it is just another in the panoply of maladies that accompany our transition. Second, it is TEMPORARY! It will get better. Most women I know have anxiety issues that last 6 months to 2 years. (If you’ve just started having anxiety episodes, you may be screaming inside "Two years! I can’t take two more years of this!") Oh yes, you can. And you will. And there’s help.

The biggest help we found was the discovery that we were not alone. Other midlife women, who previously had never suffered from anxiety and fear, found them selves terrified driving on the freeway or over bridges, petrified for no reason on a daily basis, even experiencing full-blown panic attics in the absence of any recognizable threat.

The Venuses don’t really know of any ingestable remedies that decrease the anxiety of menopause per se. Sure there are some herbal anti-anxiety supplements but we felt we just didn’t know enough about them. Kava kava, for example, relieves anxiety but may damage our liver. (Although that may be dose related – Fijians have been using it for decades on a daily basis – they seem to have a decent life span.) As always, when trying something like this, let your health care partner/practitioner know and monitor your symptoms and dosage carefully. If your MD is not acting as a partner, but as a parent or ultimate authority, find one who will. I can tell you as a health care practitioner myself that the amount we DO NOT KNOW about menopause and many of the complementary therapies would fill a library. Or two.

While you may consult your health care practitioner/partner about your anxiety, be wary of pharmaceutical intervention as a first answer. Tranquilizers and other drugs such as Prozac may be helpful, but may cause other problems or adverse effects. Remember, we’re women. We can handle a lot. We do every day. As long as we know it’s NORMAL and TEMPORARY.

As a group, the Venuses’ fretting was rarely overwhelming, but it was scary and disturbing. If it had been worse, we likely would have seen therapists. (Differentiation note: If you are frightened and jittery, that’s normal. If you cannot leave the house because of fear, or are unable to conduct activities of daily living, that’s not normal and professional help is needed.)

We did practice giving ourselves and each other little "reality checks" when our worrying was excessively annoying. We practiced asking, "What is happening right now, this moment?" (Usually the answer was "Nothing.") "Am I safe, alive, comfortable, etc?" Then we took deep breaths and decided not to panic until we had something to actually panic about, rather than a mental litany of "what ifs". This actually helped ease our jitters quite a bit, although some days our practice worked better than others.

Above all, be gentle with yourself. Give your fear a name. Invite it in for tea. Recognize it as another part of this roller coaster ride we call Menopause – remember right after the scary climb up, anticipating the drop, comes the thrill of a great ride. Let’s do it together – it’s easier to share both the fear and the fun.

(Stay tuned for a future blog entry regarding the Night Terrors, a nocturnal flavor of anxiety.)

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A Menopausal Goddess Tries to Maintain

By on April 13, 2008 in After the Pause, Emotional Menopause Symptoms, Life Changes & Stages, Menopause Relief & Treatment

"Oomph," grunts my husband lifting my suitcase, as we prepared to leave for a recent trip. "Why is your bag so heavy?" "Maintenance," I reply.

In the post-menopausal period of my life, I find that I require a great many products, supplements, and emollients just to maintain a level of adequacy. I’m not trying to look glamorous or sexy; I’m simply trying not to frighten small children. Or myself when I happen to encounter a mirror.

For those of you who’ve followed the "hair thinning" saga, you won’t be surprised that I need to pack my special Nioxin shampoo and conditioner, my wide tooth comb and gentle brush, my two products to maximize curl, gel to help style the improved curls, a purifying rinse to get all the built up crap out of my hair from these tenacious cremes and sprays, and a special every-few-days industrial strength conditioner. That’s several pounds devoted to hair alone.

I need SPF 20 makeup foundation and powder, blusher, eyebrow and lip pencils, and lipstick. An additional special sunscreen is also needed for "outdoor" pursuits. For years, I didn’t wear makeup; now my skin is so sensitive to UV that I wear it for protection. A nice side benefit is that it smoothes out my skin tone and livens me up a bit.

Dryness is always a factor, these days. Even in Hawaii where there is a fair amount of moisture in the air, if I should skip a day of lubricants, my skin vaguely resembles an alligator handbag. (Faux alligator, of course.)

So, I need special non-drying soap and body wash, face cleanser, body lotion, and hand creme. I must take facial moisturizer, eye cream, and my favorite anti-wrinkle cream. For dry eyes, I pack artificial tears and eyelid wash. How many pounds of stuff are we up to now?

Ah supplements. Can’t forget my women’s multiple vitamin, my lo-dose aspirin to prevent heart attack, my Vitamin E, thyroid supplement, acetyl-l carnitine for memory and brain function (this stuff really works when I remember to take it), my calcium/Vitamin D chew, and my SGS defense herbs. And I require a jar of natural progesterone cream as well as my topical glucosamine cream to keep my joints nicely lubricated.

Finally, I’m ready to pack a few items of clothing and a couple of books.

Still, while my luggage may weigh more when I travel these days, I realize that this time of life has allowed me to jettison a great deal of other baggage. I’ve quit carrying along resentment, perfectionism, martyrdom, victim states, feeling inadequate, unfocused longing, feeling responsible for the state of the world, and jealousy. In a sense, I’m now traveling a lot more lightly than I ever have. And I have Menopause to thank for it.

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Time Out for Menopausal Goddesses and Midlife Women

By on March 23, 2007 in After the Pause, Emotional Menopause Symptoms, Menopause & Emotion

What do midlife, menopausal women want most? Not jewelry, not flowers, not fame, not even a romantic dinner. We want TIME!

For the majority of goddesses, our fondest wish is for "time to ourselves". Having spent so many years being nurturing, attentive and productive, we now wish to spend time with ourselves. Alone. We want to revel in time, to bathe in it, to pour it over ourselves like honey. Unstructured time. Quiet, contemplative time. Time to read, sew, paint, daydream, listen to music. Time to listen to our own inner voices.

I’ve just returned from a mini-vacation on my own island. I don’t know why I never did this before! I left phone and computer behind for a couple of nights at a resort, where people took care of my every need. Days stretching lazily before me, luxurious with hours uncommitted, were treasures without equal in my experience. I may still be "hot" (as in flash, not as in sexy), but I now feel like a new woman. I urge every menopausal goddess to go away for a tiny retreat. It will truly result in re-creation.

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