Category — Hot Flashes

I’m not from the South. I have no roots or ancestral connections there, although my Mom and Dad retired to Alabama’s Gulf Coast some years ago. But I LOVE Southern women.

I love the steel magnolia- tell it like it is in such a genteel tone that you may not get it til later- way of communicating. And I especially love Southern women’s humor.

My latest fave is Shellie Rushing Tomlinson, who does “On The Porch” chats about All Things Southern.

And here is one she did on a topic near and not so dear to our hearts: Hot Flashes.

Forward it to your menopause goddess sisters, and especially to all the men who will benefit greatly from her wisdom and understanding of how to deal with the Change.

“I’m having a hot flash
A tropical hot flash
My personal summer is really a bummer
I’m having a hot flash.”

lyrics from Menopause the Musical.

Theresa Venus and I went to see “Menopause the Musical” the other night. Fabulous, funny, outrageous, and true. We flat out loved it.

To the tunes of songs from our era, four gorgeous women of menopausal age sang about hot flashes, “brain collapse”, weight gain, and emotional meltdowns. We laughed so hard we cried. As did the large numbers of men in the audience. Hey, we aren’t the only ones going through this transition; our loved ones have to take the ride with us.

The only piece that didn’t quite resonate with us had to do with libido. These women were commiserating that their husbands didn’t want to have sex much anymore – and they needed to resort to Mother’s Other Little Helper: a vibrator.

While the segment was uproariously funny, it just didn’t describe the experience of most menopause goddesses I know. Oh sure, there is a rare one like Bobbi Venus who actually had an uptick in her libido with the Big M, but that just does not describe the usual story we hear. And live. Just ask our husbands. One day we lusted for them, the next we couldn’t remember what lust is.

Thankfully, our libido does return, though also thankfully not to the horndog levels of our twenties and thirties.

The musical ended with a celebration of the Change as the four principals walk out in slinky black trimmed with rhinestones. “We have changed,” they tell us – “for the better.” And they called all the women in the audience up to kick up their heels together on stage. A perfect finish.

If you get the chance, go see it when it comes to a town near you. And if you’ve already seen it, heck, call us up and we’ll go see it again with you.

For info, visit Menopause The Musical.

When I was in nursing school many moons ago, I learned next to nothing about the Menopause transition. Our 1100 page textbook on Women’s Health was called "Maternal Child Health" and devoted a single paragraph to the Big M – defining it as the cessation of menstrual periods. Thankfully, more is being taught in nursing school now (not too sure about medical school…….).

A male nursing student wrote a song about Menopause for his nursing school class – here it is, straight from You-Tube. Enjoy!

Menopause goddess Theresa Venus turned me on to this hilarious Jack In The Box commercial. When consciousness about The Big M invades prime time, commercials, AND fast food? America is paying attention! Yep, we are finally going to be talking about it. And laughing, weeping, and bitching. Take a look.

My hot flashes have generally been well regulated lately. In other words, they come and go occasionally, but are mild and short in duration.

But that other form of heat, the emotional "Flame On" that makes me feel like a midlife superhero out of control, has been a bit more prevalent lately. I’ve previously been upset and mortified by these hot-headed events, but I’m taking a different tack these days. I’m trying to tap into this extra "energy" and use it wisely. Let’s face it – the energy will just build until it explodes volcanolike and I don’t want the lava laying waste to those innocents around me.

The other day, I was in the garage, feeling virtuous about getting my Christmas stuff organized early (a necessity, since we are traveling for 2 weeks in December.) And I realized after a fruitless search for the ornaments and decorations that there WAS JUST TOO MUCH CRAP IN OUR GARAGE AND HOW DID WE BECOME SUCH PACKRATS AND WHO ACTUALLY LIVES LIKE SUCH PIGS AND ……..

And things started flying into the middle of the space usually occupied by the car. I was in the midst of a full-fledged menopausal meltdown – a hormonal hissy fit of the highest order. Believe me when I say that nothing could have stopped me. By the time I exhausted myself, still irritated and panting, I had a plan. I’d use this "energy" to motivate myself. (And my poor unsuspecting husband.) I’d purge us of all this junk.

Of course, the timing of this heat-inspired brilliance was grossly inconvenient. We don’t really have much time before we leave and plenty of projects to complete. Yet, if there’s one thing I’ve learned about Menopause: it will always manifest at the least convenient, most annoying and embarrassing of times. All you can do is to put on your big girl panties and just go on.

My husband called later that day from the airport to say he was returning from his business trip. "You can’t park in the garage," I informed him. "Okaaaaaaaaaaay," he said carefully. He’s lived with a Menopausal Goddess long enough to know what to say AND what not to say. "And we’re getting a dumpster and getting rid of all this stuff we haven’t used in the last century, so get ready." "Great," he feigned enthusiasm, another calming trick he’s learned through this transition.

We spent the better part of a week going through stuff. Every time something irritated me, it was off to the garage and the Perfect Purge. After it was all over, the dumpster on its way and useful stuff off to the local thrift store, we toasted each other and the energy of Menopausal Meltdowns. We feel cleaner and lighter – kind of like we imagine a forest feels after a good fire blazes through.

So I’m less freaked out about the hormonal hissy fits. Anger is a form of energy; nothing more or less. It’s how we channel it and what we do with it that counts. And the next time I feel this energy coming on, I’m going through my closets!

(Don’t forget our girlfriend’s special for Christmas: buy one copy of "The Big M" and get the second at half price! Click here The Big M

Night sweats, a particularly demonic variation on the theme of hot flashes, can cause bedclothes, sheets, and even bed partners to become soaked in our perspiration. Some Venuses experience this phenomenon more than once per night. Already plagued by insomnia and night terrors, having to get up and change your nightgown or the sheets can literally put a menopausal goddess over the edge.

I don’t suffer from night sweats any more, but I have had my share of garden variety hot flashes, especially after getting up in the middle of the night to pee. Why that should precipitate a mini-meltdown I have no idea. Just another in a series of weird phenomena that accompany the Change! At any rate, I would perspire ever so lightly during my small flashfire, still it would be enough to make my jammies uncomfortably moist.

First I’d find myself in the middle of my own personal global warming crisis. Second, an ice age would commence as wet, clammy nightwear sucked the warmth from the core of my body. I’d shiver my way to full wakefulness. Hot, cold, hot, cold. Endless climactic dramas throughout the midnight hours.

Imagine my delight in discovering Drydreams, fantastic pajamas that wick away moisture from night sweats and nocturnal flashes. Creator Anne Best designed this terrific sleep apparel after she underwent breast cancer surgery along with abrupt menopause. Her night sweats were so debilitating that she was getting little rest. Her professional athlete husband suggested she try wearing some of his moisture-wicking athletic clothing, and voila. Sleep! Those of us who’ve suffered from the long nights know just how delicious a commodity sleep can be. A dry, comfortable night’s rest might make it possible for us to deal with all the myriad physical, mental, and emotional changes afflicting us.

I have been dry and cool at night, ever since I started wearing these wonderful pajamas and nightgowns. One of Anne’s customers calls them the "magic pajamas" and I have to agree with her. An added little bonus came when my husband remarked "Wow. Those are really pretty." I’m getting rid of all my other jammies – don’t need ‘em, can’t use ‘em.

And here’s the kicker. All profits are donated to cancer research. Wow. I can be cool, comfortable, and doing good works all at the same time. Now there’s something we can all sleep on. Check out the Drydreams Night Sweats Sleepwear for yourself – just click on the link below.

http://www.menopausegoddessblog.com/2008/09/12/drydreams-mois…icking-pajamas

I’m way overdue writing a blog entry. I’ve been sneezing, coughing, hacking, and blowing for the past week thanks to a horrific cold/flu bug. Travel for 24 odd hours with recirculated air and no sleep and ZAP – there goes your immunity. Though uncomfortable, it’s perfectly normal for your natural defenses to be lowered in such a situation.

Here’s what doesn’t seem normal. Between one fourth to one third of the menopausal women I know suffer some kind of major illness or immune dysfunction with the advent of perimenopause and menopause. Most of these women are nonsmoking, active, generally healthy women with no major diseases or conditions. In other words, way too many women were becoming seriously sick when the Big M came to visit.

The Venuses themselves exhibited this phenomenon. I contracted a cardiac virus while traveling. Another Venus came down with Lyme disease. One goddess skipped the cold and flu going around and went straight to pneumonia without passing Go or collecting $200. Shingles, a painful herpes virus condition, sprouted on yet another goddess.

Now I know what you’re thinking. These are all infections and the Venuses caught them. Yes, it’s a bummer, but probably just coincidence. But as a nurse, I know that infections aren’t as simple a story as bug meets girl, girl meets bug, girl gets sick. Generally, you need a cascade of events to create illness: decreased immunity + environmental insult (bug e.g. virus or bacteria, toxin or poison, etc.) + inherent weakness or preparedness of your body to accept the insult = sick goddess.

And if this is hard to swallow, remember that not everyone exposed to the Black Death (plague) in the Middle Ages caught it nor did those who were exposed to the killer viruses in the great flu epidemics.

With this in mind, I got to wondering (read obsessing) if immunity decreases in women when they reach perimenopause/menopause? And thanks to my Menopausal Tourette’s, I blurted out my concerns to any who’d listen. While at the Maui Writer’s Conference, I chanced to blurt to a lovely woman of menopausal age. Sue (not her real name) told me her story. With the onset of perimenopause, she developed crippling arthritis from SLE or lupus. This active, previously healthy goddess literally could not get out of bed. While lying curled up in pain, she was also suffering hot flashes and day/night sweats. Hoping for relief of at least the heat, she got a prescription for bioidentical hormones. Within a couple weeks, the hot flashes had abated, and so had every symptom of lupus. She’s not had a recurrence of either.

After this stunning affirmation of my fledgling hypothesis, I did what any modern goddess would – I Googled menopause and immunity for studies on this phenomenon. The paucity of data was disheartening. The two studies I did find (one conducted in Turkey in 2004, one from UCLA in 2000) indeed found significant changes in immune function in menopausal women. Additionally, these studies found that hormone replacement therapy seemed to improve most markers of immune function. (Boy, if I were the drug companies, I’d be all over this rather than trying to put compounding pharmacies out of business.)

Both these studies were small, and certainly more research needs to be done to confirm and validate these results. Alas, it is so difficult to get anybody to give a rodent’s hiney about research in women’s health, particularly the area of menopause. So we’ll just have to speak up – louder, more clearly, and more often.

I’ve started by contacting the Nurse’s Health Study where I’ve been a participant since age 19. This is the largest prospective study ever done and it’s still going on. As the women in the study reach menopausal age, I’m asking the investigators to look at this problem in future testing and samplings. And writing my congresspeople. And blurting my thoughts, on occasion, as well.

Let me just say, for the record, that we Venuses have been on this planet long enough to realize in our very cells that life is not fair. But we also recognize that there are depths to some of the unfairness that need to be plumbed. One of the deep injustices of particular concern to us has to be the difference between puberty and menopause. Not only are the physical, emotional, and mental changes that occur during menopause akin to puberty squared (or maybe puberty to the tenth power), but the amount of external support for these changes is like the difference in the number of photons present in day vs night. Think we exaggerate? Okay, let’s compare the two side by side, with our tongues only slightly stuck to our cheek linings.

Similarities Between Puberty and Menopause
In puberty we suffer acne and skin eruptions, weird hair growth, wildly fluctuating hormones, body shape changes, breast tenderness, irregular menses, orthodontic problems, growing pains, and fatigue. We also are afflicted with mood swings, melancholia, bursts of anger, and the inability to concentrate.
During the Big M, we also suffer acne and skin eruptions, weird hair growth, wildly fluctuating hormones, body shape changes, breast tenderness, irregular menses, orthodontic problems, growing pains, and mind-numbing fatigue.
Sadly, there the similarities end. Where there is significant preparation and support for the passage of puberty, there is little to none for the transition of Menopause. Here’s a summary of the differences in emotional buttressing for these two pivotal events in a woman’s life.

For the prepubescent female, there is a veritable flood of information and prep for the coming transition. The adults in her life are prepared that she will need time alone to sulk, daydream, or write poetry. Support is offered for the "tough time" she is experiencing. People make excuses for her; "she’s just going through puberty." A relative freedom from responsibilities means that she can truly attend to the process that she is experiencing; to grow into the new being that she is becoming.

For the menopausal goddess, there is a dearth of coherent information (so many of the blogs and sites out there are selling something or just repeating the senseless blather we’ve heard forever.) There is almost no preparation for the changes of the Big M. Time alone to sulk, daydream, or write poetry? You’ve got to be kidding! Support for the tough time you’re experiencing? Uh-uh! People making excuses for you, "she’s just going through menopause?" No way! Freedom from responsibilities? In your dreams!

And the final difference between puberty and menopause comes down to duration. Puberty is expected to last 5 years +/- 2. Alas, menopause lasts 5 years +/- 40. As cataclysmic transformations go, I think we’ve got to say that the Big M beats puberty hands down.

Okay, maybe it isn’t fair to do a side-by-side comparison of menopause with puberty, but we’ve already ascertained and admitted that life’s scales are unbalanced. What we CAN do is our level best to rebalance those lopsided weights by being vocal advocates for ourselves and each other. We can educate our loved ones, coworkers, and Venuses-in-training what to expect from the Big M.

After all, we’re women. We can handle these meteoric changes if we know what’s coming and that it won’t last forever. Not to mention that a little support would go a long way to making the transition easier on everybody. Note to mates, offspring, and others who deal with us: granting us a modicum of the compassion tendered to a fretful, pubescent teen could pay HUGE dividends. Seriously. All joking aside. We’re not kidding.
(This week’s photo of Theresa Venus [top] and myself was taken by Dewitt Jones, my mate who actually IS being supportive of the Big M. Now. At last. Hallelujah.)

I was getting my hair done a couple years ago at my favorite salon, along with five other women ‘of an age’, when talk turned to the Change. Most of us were loudly proclaiming our favorite natural remedies and fixes. The woman in the chair adjacent to mine finally spoke up apologizing to the roomful of menopausal goddesses for having "caved", finally starting HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy)..

"It’s just that I couldn’t sleep," she told us shamefacedly. "I couldn’t sleep at all. I was so tired I couldn’t function. And nothing else worked." We all leapt in to assure her that there was no need to feel guilty. The risk-benefit ratio seemed pretty clear to all of us. Underscored for us was that we women need to support one another through this process rather than judge anyone, including ourselves.

But I have to admit that I was feeling pretty smug and blessed that I was coping without HRT. My symptoms were manageable. What’s that thing they say goeth before a fall? Oh yeah, pride. I no longer have a surplus of that. I eventually ended up on low dose HRT myself. And honestly, I wish I’d taken it sooner.

First welcomed as a godsend, now seen as a terrifying, politically incorrect alternative for menopause symptom relief, HRT may actually be neither. In deciding whether we wish to consider HRT as a viable option, we really need to evaluate our personal risk-benefit analysis. In other words we need to list pros and cons, and then weigh those pros and cons in order of importance.

History of breast or other reproductive cancers in your family would cause you to rate your risk higher. Family history of blood clots, stroke, or heart disease also put you at higher risk. If you have or have had any of these conditions yourself, the risk may be too high and you’ll want to look elsewhere for help. And if you are a smoker? HRT is not a great idea for you; your risk of heart attack, stroke and other cardiovascular disease spikes.

On the benefit side, if your hot flashes are 30+ per day, so intense that you are nauseous, or your sleep deprivation from insomnia is making you psychotic, then HRT may be a valuable help in the short term. More risk is associated for all women with long term usage of HRT, so taking it to "get over the hump" may be an option. Above all, do not feel guilty if you decide that the herbal, natural route didn’t work for you and you need to avail yourself of HRT. Our own Beej-Venus tried herbs and immediately stopped using them because they "gave me a rush".

If you should decide to consider HRT as an alternative, be sure to stay aware and re-evaluate periodically whether you might be ready to slowly decrease and ultimately discontinue your hormones. Above all, be gentle with yourself and choose what’s right for you. (Next blog entry, we’ll examine briefly both bioidentical and synthetic hormones. Material partially adapted from our upcoming book -to be released very soon. We’ll keep you posted.)

For just about a year, my hot flashes, insomnia, and mood alterations were down to a dull roar thanks to my natural progesterone cream. And then I started down the next dip on the Menopause roller coaster.

Early in perimenopause, progesterone levels drop. Later in the transition, estrogen levels decrease as well, causing a resurgence of hot flashes, mood swings, insomnia, vaginal dryness, and more. The progesterone cream that worked initially is no longer enough. We may feel the need for estrogen supplementation. I surely did. Following the rules and guidelines for remedies, I wished to start with the least heavy duty, most "natural" remedy first. Enter natural remedy #1: soy.

Natural Soy – The Good News
I decided to do a little research – here’s what I found. Soy has been touted as a healthy food alternative to almost everything: meat (tempeh, tofu), milk (soy milk), cheese (yep, soy cheese), appetizers (edamame soybeans), snacks (soy crackers and chips.) and so on. Soy is also a phytoestrogen or plant estrogen precursor. Ergo, if you want to have "natural" symptom relief from your hot flashes, insomnia, and the like – eat soy. Still have symptoms? Eat more soy. Don’t like the taste or texture of bean curd? You can ingest soy in the form of pills or capsules. A number of popular products can be found in the health food aisle of your grocery store, such as Estroven. For many women, soy has made the transition much milder.

Needless to say, this sounded like THE ANSWER. (However, in my excitement, I forgot the all important rule that "There Is No Silver Bullet" or single panacea for the menopause maladies.) I started taking a natural soy remedy and switched to soy milk.

And I got worse. My hot flashes increased. I couldn’t sleep. I was REALLY cranky. Add to this bloating, stomach aches, and nasal congestion and you have the makings of a Menopausal Monster. I decided a little MORE research was in order. And here’s what I found:

Soy Vey – The Bad News
While soy is a healthy choice for many people, it makes the list of the top 8 food allergens, along with milk, eggs, peanuts, tree nuts, fish, shellfish, and wheat. (source: Mayo Clinic.com) The FDA now requires that all food be labeled if it contains any of these.

Although it is estimated that only 1% of the population has true allergies to these foods, a large number of the population may be intolerant or sensitive to them. What "intolerance" means is that they can ingest small amounts of these substances with no ill effects, but with larger doses symptoms appear. (Those who have true allergies cannot tolerate even a tiny amount of the reactive food without a serious allergic reaction: difficulty breathing, hives, swelling of face, neck, tongue, or shock).

In a nutshell, many of us are unknowingly sensitive to soy. When we increase our intake of soy, we may develop symptoms consistent with food intolerance such as cramping, diarrhea, bloating, dizziness, nasal congestion, and flushing. If we are soy-sensitive, we may actually find our hot flashes and other Change symptoms increasing, as we stress our body beyond the already overwhelming stressors of menopause. Luckily, those of us with soy intolerance have the option of soy-free herbal preparations that contain phytoestrogens, which we’ll touch on in the next blog.

For those who are not allergic or sensitive to soy, ingesting tofu, soy milk, and soybeans might be a godsend. Beware, however, of taking too many soy pills which contain high levels of soy isoflavones. More is not better. There is concern about interference with thyroid function (which translates to even more symptoms for a menopausal goddess). Monitor yourself and your response along with your trusted health practitioner. (See April 3 and March 28 blog entries for guidelines in "Choosing The Right Menopause Remedy for You.")

So what happened? I stopped the soy. And while my menopause symptoms continued unabated, they decreased slightly while the bloating, stuffy head, and abdominal pains disappeared. (My MD tested me for food intolerances – the only one I was sensitive to was indeed soy.) I tried various other remedies: black cohosh, dong quai, primrose oil. None of them seemed to have any effect (except some flushing and heat sensations with the dong quai.) Yet, I knew women where each of these remedies had worked like magic.

What next? My estrogen levels were subterranean. My thermostat was in the nuclear zone. How was I going to cool off literally and emotionally? The saga continues in the next blog entry where we’ll discuss [ominous drum roll please] HRT, also known as Hormone Replacement Therapy.
(material adapted from our upcoming book "Venus Comes of Age")