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Hot Flash Humor: A Male Perspective

Halema`uma`u Volcanic Vent

Halema`uma`u Volcanic Vent

I’ve been getting more and more mail from men who are accompanying their mates on the Menopause journey. The latest note from James Lawson cracked me up. He has graciously given me permission to post his blog entry about hot flashes from a man’s point of view. You can visit his blog here: Uniting People, through motivation, inspiration, and humor.

She Might Be Having A Hot Flash!

My wife has been having hot flashes for over 8 years now, and believe me we’ve had many laughs over the predicaments she’s been in.

There’s not much written about hot flashes from a male’s point of view so… Here’s a list of ten scenarios I’ve witnessed over the years. Chuckle and enjoy, then share yours!

1. At the grocery store, you see a woman with her head stuck in the freezer. You think she must be serious about reading the box’s ingredient list.

Or

She might be having a hot flash.

2. When you’re outside on a beautiful day, you notice a grandmother snatch a freeze pop from her grandchild. You assume she must be concerned about the amount of sugar that child has consumed.
Or
She might be having a hot flash.

3. At the gym, you look over to see a woman open up her water bottle full throttle and let the water pour out of the corners of her mouth. You figure she must have been doing an intense routine.
Or
She might be having a hot flash.

4. Your wife rushes in the door and strips off all her clothes. You think, “Hey, I’m going to get lucky!”
Or
She might be having a hot flash.

5. During an important office meeting, you notice a female drops her pen on the floor. As she darts under the table with a washcloth in her hand you think she must have a germ phobia.
Or
She might be having a hot flash.

6. You awaken in the night and catch your wife with her hand in a cooler of ice near her side of the bed. You think, “She must have buried a midnight snack beneath that ice.”
Or
She might be having a hot flash.

7. The woman driver ahead of you is swerving in and out of her lane while flailing her arms. You say, “I think that lady’s drunk!”
Or
She might be having a hot flash.

8. You’re driving along on a cold winter day. Your wife suddenly rolls down her window. You think, “There must be a spider in the car.”
Or
She might be having a hot flash.

9. In a hardware store, you see a woman testing out an industrial fan blowing on high, you think, “She must have water in her basement.”
Or
She might be having a hot flash.

10. Your wife has water glasses placed strategically throughout the house. You think, “She must be getting ready to water the plants.”
Or
She might be having a hot flash.

So men, never judge that menopausal woman you see who may be acting a bit strangely. She just might be having a hot flash.

James would love for you to share you favorite  hot flash moments on his Blog. He’s aiming for a list of 100!

 

Comments { 6 }

Cool Off With Menopause Aid: The Hot Flash Pillow

Snowy Bells © lynette sheppard

Whew. I just “finished” my semi-annual migration from Tahoe to Hawaii. When I left Tahoe it was a chilly 32 degrees – ideal for a Menopause Goddess. Now I’m back in the land of eternal summer and while I am not flashing, I am generally pretty freaking hot.

Thanks to my new friend, Nancy Peardon, I’m acclimating nicely. Nancy sent me her wonderful creation, the Hot Flash Pillow.

You just throw it in the freezer, take it out a little later, place it around your neck, and Ahhhhhhhh. Blissful comfort. I am not longer thermically challenged.

I remember Menopause Goddess friends of mine who used bags of frozen peas and frozen chicken breasts to cool down. True stories. The Hot Flash Pillow not only lasts longer, it’s pretty. And you don’t have to cook it or refreeze it later. I know, you wonder why someone didn’t create it sooner. Doesn’t matter, it’s here now.

So say good-bye to night sweat discomfort, overheated insomnia, and hot flash hell. And congratulate yourself on choosing a remedy that delivers relief with no side effects. Check it out on the Hot Flash Pillow website.

Comments { 2 }

Celebrate World Menopause Day with Natural Hot Flash Relief – and a Giveaway!

Up up and away © lynette sheppard

It’s World Menopause Day (yes, I know that’s every day for many of us.) Still, we are delighted that consciousness is being raised. With that in mind, please enjoy this guest blog by Rebecca Hulem, certified menopause clinician, widely known as “The Menopause Expert”.

The International Menopause Society, in collaboration with the World Health Organization, has designated today, October 18, as World Menopause Day. While there are a variety of symptoms associated with the onset of “the change,” one of the most common, negative symptoms women experience are hot flashes. Those exasperating hot flashes!

There are a variety of options for overcoming unpleasant hot flashes. While each woman can offer advice on relief, I’ve found that different treatments work for different women. But, one common ground many women find in their treatment plans is that we are looking for natural solutions. Natural remedies typically involve plants or habitual lifestyle changes that help alleviate hot flashes.

In honor of World Menopause Day, take a moment to make sure you’re aware of these effective options for natural hot flash relief:

Focus on Nutrition – The right kind of diet is full of fruits, vegetables and plant-based proteins such as beans, lentils, legumes and soy. For some women, certain foods trigger hot flashes. Common triggers include coffee, spicy foods or alcohol. I recommend avoiding caffeine or alcohol within three hours of bedtime to decrease the likelihood of night sweats interrupting sleep.

Exercise Regularly – Exercise has been shown to reduce hot flashes as well as a host of other menopause-related issues women face, including sleep disturbances. However, to reap the full benefits, it’s important to incorporate a variety of techniques including aerobic, weight-bearing, strength training and relaxation exercises like yoga.

Take a Supplement based on Nature – Supplements containing soy isoflavones rich in genistein, naturally-occurring compounds with a chemical structure similar to estrogen, have been scientifically proven to reduce the frequency and severity of menopausal hot flashes by approximately 20 to 30 percent. To make sure the supplement contains the right amount of soy isoflavones, just look for the green NovaSoy® brand leaf on the labels of over-the-counter supplements widely found in drug, grocery, and health & nutrition stores.

Nova Soy Shopping

Deflate Stress with Therapy – It’s been proven that lowering stress levels helps decrease menopausal hot flashes. There are many ways to alleviate stress, such as deep breathing, meditation and yoga exercises. Some women are turning to more creative therapies such as hypnotherapy, herbal therapy and aromatherapy.

It’s important to remember, though, that you should still consult your health care provider if you are using nature’s remedies. Discuss your symptoms, treatment plan and how it may impact your overall health.
Interested in discussing hot flash relief and your menopause journey with other women going through the same experience? Join the NovaSoy Facebook community!

Discussion topics include exercise inspirations, healthy recipes, and menopause blogs, videos and cartoons. There’s also an interactive symptom checker to let you know if you’re experiencing menopause. And if that’s not enough, you have until Noon CT Today (10/18/12) to enter to win a copy of my CD: 101 Most Frequently Asked Questions about Menopause! To enter, simply fill out this form.

As the saying goes, it truly is all about the journey. Let’s learn a little, share a little and experience the natural transition of menopause together.

Comments { 4 }

Menopause Mailbag: Hot Flashes, Anxiety, Insomnia, and More

High Country Reflection © lynette sheppard

This month’s menopause mailbag deals with hot flashes, anxiety, insomnia, and so much more. Please take a moment to offer your advice and support in the comments section for our menopause goddess sisters.

Menopause Goddess sister L. writes from the U.K.:

Hot Flashes
Okay here’s a strange one and I’d love to know if anyone else has had this happen. A couple of weeks before my birthday this year, the hot flashes started and they were intense. Every couple of hours, every time I drank coffee, 4.00 am every night. So I stopped the coffee, started wearing layers and slept with just a sheet to stay cool.

Here we are almost 2 months later and they’ve all but stopped. One or two a week, nothing at night now. Still not drinking coffee though. I’d been told they’d go on for years … can they start and stop like this? Anyone else had this happen?

OK ladies, any suggestions? Have you all had this happen to you?

MPG: I, Lynette, got hot flashes from drinking hot beverages – cold coffee was not a problem. And even that got better.

And R. shares her hot flash remedy / discovery:

Just a heads up: I quit eating all sugar (including fruit juice and fruit) and ALL hot flashes stopped.
If I really want sugar (read fruit or chocolate) , I eat a bunch of vegetables before hand and they slow down the ingestion of sugar so I still don’t get hot flashes. Pass it on, it may help others!

MPG: Thanks, R. Definitely worth a try. And remember, goddesses, to keep a hot flash journal with what you did immediately before to find out what your own specific hot flash triggers are. Every women is unique.

M. writes requesting help:

I am soon to be 48 and 12 months into hormone hell, as I affectionately call it. I have considered myself to be strong, fun loving and positive. My perimenopause bomb hit from out of nowhere. mainly insomnia and anxiety. Totally foreign! I am on my second ND, started bioidentical progesterone 2 months ago. reasearch and ttes/labs assured me this is perimenopause. What is most difficult are the periods of insomnia and anxiety. I Would love to share with other women, help getting through these normal, common, horrible symptoms!

MPG: Readers, please help. And M., you might want to set up your own goddess group. It literally saved all of us Venuses. Click on the links below for the How To Guide blog entries.

Creating A Menopause Goddess Group: A How To Guide Pt. I

Creating A Menopause  Goddess Group: A How To Guide Pt. II

And S. writes to share her hair loss experience (which is way more common than we are ever led to believe!):

You are the answer to my prayers. My hair started falling out and I have noticeable scalp showing through. I believe it is from the HRT. I wasn’t sure how to stop, but after finding you, I have decided to cut pill in half and gradually stop taking bio-identical hormones. I have minimal wrinkles and I am concerned that skin will suffer…..bald or wrinkled….what a choice!

MPG: LOL, what a choice indeed. I remember wanting to take out stock in a hat company so at least I could cover my head. Sheesh, it’s a good thing we don’t lose our sense of humor!

Hot Flash Prevention – Avoiding the ?Triggers? | Menopause Goddess Blog dot com

All I Know About Stopping HRT So Far | Menopause Goddess Blog dot com

Holla for replacing Hormones | Kerri Zane

(Insert Pathetic Sigh Here)

Choose The Right Menopause Remedy Part II | Menopause Goddess Blog dot com

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Research Participation, Hair Loss, and HRT Update: A Menopause Grab Bag

red maple leaves, Zion NP © lynette sheppard


Greetings, Goddesses (and those who love them). My apologies for not posting for a couple of weeks. The short story on why? Hula conference, food poisoning, the flu.
I’m bouncing back now; well more like crawling back but things are looking up. I’m recuperating in one of the most beautiful places on our little green planet: Zion National Park, Utah.

In deference to the backlog of important topics I’ve been meaning to post, here are three in one – a veritable grab bag of meno missives.

First, there is a call for participation in a UCLA study on attitudes toward disgusting situations. It seems that there may be changes in what we find disgusting or not when we go through menopause. Professor Daniel Fessler of UCLA and Dr. Katinka Quintelier of Ghent University are co-conductors of this research. I took the survey myself – pretty interesting. Click on the link below or paste it into your browser – all results are completely anonymous. http://menodis2011-2012.questionpro.com

On the hair loss front – a particularly diabolical manifestation of the Change, there is new hope out for menopausal women afflicted. Avacor has been approved for hair regrowth in hormonal thinning. (Active ingredient in the serum is minoxidil aka Rogaine.) They have had significant success, although like everything, it won’t work for all women. So I have offered to be a guinea pig yet again and have begun a three month program. It usually takes two months to show any effect, so don’t expect to hear too much too soon. Hope springeth eternal – I’ve taken my before pictures and hope to see a difference in eight weeks or so. I’ll keep you posted.

I will say this: one of the products in their starter kit is called “Boost”. It is a hair thickener styling product and it is as good or better as any of my previous favorites. I highly recommend this even if you don’t need to regrow hair. It’s a great volumizer and doesn’t weigh my hair down in the process. Yes, you can buy this product separately. If you want to take this journey along with me, they can start you out with a free 3 month trial supply of the full set of products. Check out their website at avacor.com

Last but not least, I wanted to report on my HRT cessation (and my physician’s). We both feel just fine – yes, we do have a hot flash every now and then but they are short lived and not too incendiary. I must report the side effect of a little smugness on both our parts, but thankfully this is not serious.
For those of you who are attempting to titrate down your HRT, go slowly and be gentle with yourself. With the patch, I was cutting it into tinier and tinier pieces until I was wearing just a miniscule pie shaped wedge that likely had almost no hormone in it. Still, the placebo effect is powerful juju and I availed myself of it for quite a while. Now I’m happy and hormone free. Except for any hormones that my own body might produce on its own. I’ll take all of those I can get.Now, I’m going out to sit on the patio and look at red rocks. Take the survey, grow some hair, be gentle with yourself in all ways. Oh, and eat some chocolate. Just sayin’…

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Relieve Menopause Symptoms With These Natural Supplements

HIgh Sierra Lupine © lynette sheppard

This week’s guest post by Ryan Rivera offers some helpful information about natural supplements that can alleviate menopause symptoms and make for an easier transition. Obviously, each woman is different and will respond individually to any given remedy. Yep, we end up having to be our own guinea pigs sometimes before we find what helps and what doesn’t. Remember when trying any plant based or natural supplement to give it time to work (at least 2 weeks for most) and to try only one at a time. I know how tempting it is to try any and every thing just to get some sleep, cool down, or mellow out. Resist the temptation and you may find a new balance. For now, read Ryan’s excellent guest blog entry:

A woman’s body is like a ticking time bomb. After more or less forty years of conception, a woman will run out of enough hormones and face the challenges that this anxiety-producing phase brings.

While we were younger, our hormones play an important role in shaping how we look, how we perceive and how we react to things that surround us. Our hormones give sharpness to the mold of which is our body. It defines the swell of our breasts, the trim of our waistlines and the curves of our hips. It is our ego-bolstering machine that helps men see as us as voluptuous as we perceive ourselves.

Aside from this beauty enhancing function, hormones direct how our mood goes as well. From high to low, low to high, or to crazy, crazier to craziest, these hormones control our emotions like a very good marionette player.

But such control will soon be lost as we grow old and these hormones dwindle in quantity, leaving us to carry on with the symptoms of menopause such as hot flushes during the day, sweating at night, frequent mood changes, vaginal dryness, and anxiety attacks.

To help relieve these uncomfortable symptoms that ageing brings, here are a few natural techniques currently endorsed by various experts.

1. Red Clover

The flowering tops of this perennial clover plant have been found to effectively treat the distressing symptoms of menopause. This herb, scientifically known as Trofolium pretense, is high in vitamin and mineral content that includes vitamin A, vitamin C, vitamin E, vitamin K, calcium, magnesium, niacin, phosphorus, potassium, and thiamine. These essential vitamins and minerals help reinforce cell, tissue, and organ growth and maintenance which further assists in fighting illness and infirmity.

This “magical plant”, as considered by the ancient Greeks and Romans for its ability to ward off evil, is sought after by many menopausal women for its isoflavones compound that act as phytoestrogens. These phytoestrogens mimic the function of estrogen in the human body. This means that it works by substituting natural human hormones with plant-like compounds. Thus, when taken, it amazingly supplies the needed estrogen of the body to prevent estrogen loss and remedy menopausal symptoms. It has almost the same effect as hormone replacement therapy minus the expensive cost.

Red clover can be consumed as tea or taken as a tablet.

2. Black Cohosh

The startling heave of body heat or hot flashes frequently complained by women in menopausal stage can be effectively solved through the use of black cohosh.

Black Cohosh or Actaea Racemosa, is also a phytoestrogenic plant that belongs to the buttercup family and native to the woods of eastern North America. It is made up of acetein and ferulic or isoferulic acids that work to prevent hypertensive and inflammatory effects from flourishing in those with menstrual problems, menopausal syndrome and rheumatism.

Black cohosh herbal supplements such as tea, pills, tablets and liquid extracts are made from its roots and underground stems. Its usage is recommended only for six months or less since prolonged use can lead to risks of strokes, heart attacks, and cases of breast cancer for some women.

3. Macafem

Scientifically known as Lepidium meyenii, this non-estrogenic herb that grows in the plateau of the Andean mountains in Peru has been specifically used for the treatment of menopause symptoms.

As a non-estrogenic herb, macafem takes care of hormonal problems without bringing in artificial estrogen-like substances into the body. It acts more like an energizer that helps stimulate the body to create its own production of hormones naturally. Moreover, this kind of herb does not produce the side effects that phytoestrogenic herbs bring to the table.

All symptoms of menopause such as mood swings, loss of sexual desire, vaginal dryness, and hot flushes are successfully alleviated by Macafem. Aside from this, thyroid function is also improved, as this herb help to stimulate metabolism. So, women not only rid themselves of menopausal symptoms but unwanted fats as well.

4. Probiotics

Probiotics are live microorganisms of the lactobacilli family that are found in products such as soy, miso, buttermilk shakes, kefir and yogurt. They act similarly like the good bacteria found in human GIT. When taken, they produce lactic acid that helps alters the pH balance of the intestines to make it more acidic and inhibit the growth of bad bacteria.

Good bacteria such as Lactobacillus acidophilous, and Bifidus that are found in the gut are important for women who are going through menopause. A healthy gastrointestinal tract helps to reduce the symptoms brought about by ageing. With a restored good bacterial growth in the GIT, menopausal symptoms such as night sweats, acid reflux, eczema, irritability, and yeast infections will be effectively eliminated.

5. Sepia

Another effective means of relieving menopausal symptoms is the use of sepia, a homeopathic remedy. Sepia helps to relieve hot flashes, depression, excessive perspiration, and moodiness. This homeopathic remedy is prepared from the pigment obtained from the ink sac of cuttlefish. This ink is then dried and ground into fine powder and formed into tablets.

As women approach the stage of menopause, the threat of developing severe hot flashes, night sweats, and other anxiety symptoms will arise as well. To bring relief from these menopausal symptoms, proper and guided use of the above-mentioned substances should be considered.

Ryan Rivera is a former anxiety sufferer. His anxiety management program focused on natural methods. A complete guide of these methods can be found at his website at Calmclinic.com.

Comments { 3 }

Menopause Goes to the Movies

Two new films are out on the Big M and having seen both, here’s the Menopause Goddess take on them.

Managing Menopause Naturally gives in depth information on all aspects of the Change, demystifying without pushing any one alternative. I really like that about it. Experts in the complementary health field, herbalists, nutritionists, MD’s, and midwifes discuss what to expect and all remedies. Despite the title, this film does not rule out hormone replacement therapy. Rightly, it claims that all women are different and that each menopause transition is individual. There are no one -size-fits-all therapies. Best of all, real women approaching and experiencing the Menopause journey are featured discussing their fears and what has worked for them.

This is a must see for pre-menopausal women. In other words, see it while you still have brain function enough to sit still and focus for 80 minutes. And if you are already experiencing brain fog? Well, watch it in manageable pieces – say four 20 minute segments.

The only negative about this film for me was was its lack of humor. That is a personal bias of mine to be sure. I feel that humor and the support of like-afflicted girlfriends is the MAIN thing that will get you through. That said, it really is helpful to have some information to go along with the belly laughs.

My favorite menopausal woman-expert in the film is Tierona Low Dog, MD, AHG. This no nonsense herbalist, midwife, biochemist and mother tells it like it is. I love her. When I grow up, I want to be her. Just sayin’….

Managing Menopause Naturally is available from TrueMind, a documentary film company dedicated to healthy living, environmental wellness and personal development.  List price is $19.98, but you can get it on Amazon for $12.60. Even better, you can watch it for $4.99 on their website:  True Mind.   For those of us who want to watch it in segments, $4.99 gets you access for 48 hours.

The Venuses previewed “Hot Flash Havoc” together at our annual meeting.  This feature is billed as “a film of menopausal proportions” with “Commotions, emotions, and magical potions.” With excitement and in our most comfy jammies, we settled in to watch.

Good news: it was informative – and we especially enjoyed the historical narrative illuminating menopause through the ages. It did a great job of explaining the physiological changes as well. And there was a fair amount of humor.

Bad news: We all felt that there was a hidden agenda to the film: namely that “hormone therapy is necessary to get through menopause and prevent many of the hazards of aging (eg. osteoporosis, heart disease.)

There were experts and real women as there were in Managing Menopause Naturally. Some legitimate points were made about flaws in the Women’s Health Initiative study that scared so many women off and away from HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy.) My holistic MD told me right off the bat that there were flaws in the study. Still, we both feel that long term HRT is likely not risk free or even desirable.

At the very beginning of this film, a disclaimer purports that “no pharmaceutical companies were involved in the production of this motion picture.”  It’s interesting that the filmmakers felt it necessary to clarify that point, lending credence to our feeling that this was a “one right answer” film.
In the end, we would have to say that we would not recommend this film without the caveat that it seemed focused on HRT as the answer for menopause and beyond. And honestly? We just don’t feel that that is true. HRT is an answer. For some women. For some time.  And probably not forever. That said, the film is available on their website: Hot Flash Havoc.  It lists for $24.99 and is available direct on their site for $19.99.  Amazon sells it for the full list price of $24.99. Only the trailers can be viewed on the site.

Those of you who have purchased The Big M or the ebook version Becoming A Menopause Goddess know that in that chronicle of wisdom we’ve gleaned together, we offer our best humor, heart, and help to our sister goddesses. And in 2012, we will begin offering a series of short YouTube videos to augment the book and keep you all up to date on what we learn in our Venus group together. And we will exhort you to start your own group, as always.

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Menopause Good News and Great News

Springtime aspen leaves © lynette sheppard

I’ve been silent on the blog for a couple of weeks. Sort of a personal spring break phenomenon. I wasn’t just kicking back, going to the beach (although now that I think about it, it sounds like a mighty fine idea. Could be time for Spring Break 2 pretty soon.)

I didn’t forget my Big M sisters during “Break” however. You were all very much on my mind and inspiring me from afar. I just finished a big project to reach out to more menopause goddesses (see e-book announcement below.)

Work wasn’t the only constraint to posting however. Playtime figured largely into my schedule as well. I upped my hula classes to four times a week (I’m so sore) and all last week participated in a photography playshop. With all this work, exercise, play, and new learning, I barely had time to feed the animals and pay the bills.

So here are the latest news flashes from Menopause Goddess Blog.

Good news: Ladycare magnet seems to be working! (See review on the blog:  Cool New Menopause Relief Stuff.) My hot flashes have decreased from about 2 a day and 3 per night to 0-1 every 24 hours. I guess to really test it, I should now take it off for a couple of weeks, but I am understandably reluctant to do that.

I hardly notice that I’m wearing my Ladycare, although there have been some humorous moments when I’ve stood too close to the car or the dryer and my underwear suddenly “sticks” me to the metal object in closest proximity.

More good news: I am maintaining my weight post HCG diet. I eat all food groups with emphasis on healthy eating. I avoid corn syrup solids, processed foods (although I eat turkey bacon occasionally), refined flour, sugars and so on. I try to avoid food with additives or hormones – not always easy with our chicken or meat here on Moloka`i.

I eat sprouted grain bread (way more yummy than other bread), quinoa, brown rice, and I bake with amaranth flour. I eat lots of apples. Organic greens and veggies round out my diet. Newman O’s are a great dessert on occasion.

I have coffee in the morning, wine in the evening, and dark chocolate as needed. And my skinny clothes still fit. Best of all, I have lots  of energy and feel terrific. Life is good.

Great News: Menopause Goddess Lana Abrams at Mulberry West has  offered discounts for our readers on wonderful mulberry silk products. You can get 10% off your order by putting in a code when you click this link to this order page. You will be prompted to enter our special code: MPGB. Don’t worry; Lana does not save or sell your information.

Really great news: The Big M has been released as an ebook on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Apple iBooks. (Coming soon on Sony as well.) The book has a new title: Becoming A Menopause Goddess. Download a sample from any of these ebook stores. Links below. An ebook virgin or don’t have a reader? No problem.  All of these ebook stores have free apps for your computer, mobile phone, or iPad that you can download to get started reading if you haven’t ebooked before.  Ebooks are environmentally green and cost less than printed books. And they are much easier to store. For those who must hold a book in your hands, The Big M will still be available here.

FYI: book sales are the only revenue we get to offset the cost of this website. We are always in the red, but would like to be less so in order to continue our Menopause Goddess community. We have refrained from accepting advertising up til now because it’s annoying and clutters the site. No worries, we have no plans to go anywhere anytime soon. Just sayin’…

Best news: Springtime is here and we can celebrate it even while we enjoy the autumn of our lives. Happy Easter, everyone!

Becoming A Menopause Goddess links

Amazon

Barnes and Noble

Apple iBookstore – download app and then search title.

Comments { 4 }

Hot Flash Story Contest Winner

I’m sending a huge shout out to all the Menopause Goddesses who shared their hot flash stories and  memories for this contest. There were so many belly laughs that it was hard to narrow them down to one winner. And as you all know, I believe we all win when we share our wisdom and humor with one another. We may be hot and dripping, but at least we know we are not alone. And there is serious power in that!

Here is a sampling of my favorite entries – our overall winner is at the end. Read on and empathize.

Tori Venus shares:
“My husband and I were going out to dinner with a couple we didn’t know very well. As we were driving to the restaurant, the windows steamed up, got all foggy, and our host was fiddling with the defroster, turning fans up all the way to no avail.
“What’s wrong with my car? I’m going to have to take it in to the dealership.”
He just couldn’t figure it out.
Finally, my husband piped up, “Just open the windows. My wife is having a flash.” It’s all true. Every word. I swear it.”

Jill Pic submitted this wonderful poem:

The heat-
growing in my belly and it spreads.
Wet skin.
Wet hair (I keep it boy short now, miss my ponytail) and sweat trickles between my breasts. I ease out of my pajamas and moan,
stretching, desire for something to bank my
burning fire consumes me
although I am already consumed.
To write it so sounds sensual, sexual,
stuff of fantasy.
It is in hot fact an F-ing hot flash.
I am young at 47 and quite vibrant,
alive and happy in my skin,
passing on the secret woman-knowledge
every day at work
to new mothers.
What I need is someone cool
to pass on the
secret woman-knowledge
to an initiate crone.

Our own Theresa Venus writes,  “Oh – so many memories regarding those power surges however following is one of my favorites.
I was in a very important real estate meeting, trying to negotiate some tense issues between a contractor, cabinet builder and a “high-energy” buyer – all men. As the REALTOR (and only female in the room,) I was having to keep egos in line, keep issues on point and at the same time, leave each one of the participants in a “win-win” situation. Very calm on the outside but certainly a stressful situation. Never-the-less, out of the blue, ta-da! Starting with that deep down warning glow, the heat spread faster than the Angora wildfire throughout every molecule of my body. It was intense and before I knew it, try as I might, I couldn’t make out what was being said. I saw their lips move and then I saw a look of bewilderment on their faces. Soon – all eyes were on me. Finally, what sounded like Darth Vadar, a voice said, “are you alright?”
Guess what intelligent words spouted from my lips?

“I MUST TAKE OFF MY CLOTHES!”

Needless to say, those men grabbed their clipboards and ran like hell.

The transaction ended smoothly.”

First runner up Liz Jorgensen shared a flashback from her teens.

“I don’t remember much about my high school Spanish class. But the one thing I remember like it was yesterday is when Senora got a hot flash. All of a sudden she was jumpy, she was pacing and she was fanning herself. Finally, after raising her arms to the ceiling and getting no relief, she opened the window and let in the sub-zero Wisconsin air. But that still didn’t cool her off. Next thing we know, Senora is out the window all the way to her waist. She stayed there for a few minutes, then re-entered the classroom as if nothing happened. We were so spooked, we just got back to work, as if nothing happened, too.”

And our winner is Edwinna Margheim with this hilarious recounting:

“I used to work in the Admission office at our local community college. We had been working hard and going through the arduous task of implementing new software and had one of the guys from IT over giving us a hand. As I was sitting at my desk entering grades, I leaned back and groaned “Oh my God… power surge!” as I began to have a hot flash! The IT guy jumped out of his chair and ran over to me saying “Where? Did you lose the data? What’s going on?!” I wasn’t sure I would ever stop laughing.”

Neither were we.

$120 worth of At Last Naturals hormonal support products is awarded to Edwinna. And I personally will be very cautious about using the term  “power surge” in the future, you can be sure of that.

Stay cool, dear goddesses. And hey, just because the official contest is over doesn’t mean we shouldn’t share our humorous, humiliating, enlightening experiences. Keep ‘em coming. We can use all the smiles we can get.

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Contest: The Best Hot Flash Wins

Hot Red Ginger

Is it hot in here or is it just me? Girlfriends, it appears the latest hot flash research blog entry hit a nerve for many of our sister goddesses. One comment thread on Facebook had us rolling on the floor, clutching our sides and gasping from the laugh attacks.

As goddess Michelle G. MD shared, “Dude! We got ZERO education on menopause in medical school. THIS SUCKS!! If Pfizer can give a man an erection, can’t they come up with a way to make me stop sweating in a 50 degree room?”

Yeah, baby. What she said!!! I got a whole paragraph in my 1200 page women’s health textbook in nursing school. “Menopause is the cessation of monthly cycles in females and the end of reproductive function.” Just how that was supposed to be helpful, I haven’t a clue.

Thankfully, our generation of women is not quiet or complacent. We are taking matters into our own hands by sharing our voices and being proactive about our health. We might be sweaty, we might be cranky, we might be weepy. We will be heard.

With that in mind, Menopause Goddess Blog is partnering with At Last Naturals sponsoring a contest to get your best hot flash story. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Sharing our stories is one of the ways we get through the Big M. It helps us realize that we are NORMAL and that we will get through this transition. With a little help from our girlfriends.

Here’s the details:
They can be funny, irritating, poignant, or embarrassing. Hot flashes take the prize as the signature symptom of Menopause. Here’s your chance to get even. Share your favorite hot flash story or experience and win $120 worth of natural products for women from At Last Naturals.

Your story can be absolute truth or fiction, prose or poetry, 10 words or 1000, your own experience or seen through the eyes of another. Like your husband. Or your cat. Anything goes. Think of this as therapy – really cheap therapy where at best you win a prize and at worst you offer up a written commiseration for the benefit of Menopause Goddesses everywhere.

At Last Naturals are a line of natural products for women, created by a woman, to help us through these transitions and restore our bodies to balance. They sent a box for our review, which I immediately shipped off to one of our Menopause Goddesses who is just going through H-E-L-L with her perimenopause. She has promised to give us a full report.

In the meantime, to find out more, visit At Last Naturals web page and/or like them on their Facebook page. And they will be in our Menopause Marketplace very soon.

Okay, sharpen those pencils or warm up that keyboard and  send your hot flash story to me at lynette@9points.com. You may also  post it in the comment section here on the blog. Winner will be announced March 31. Women sharing wisdom (and wise ass humor). That’s what we are all about.

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