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Menopause Insomnia? Sleep Pretty in Pink!

By on August 1, 2008 in Men and Menopause, Menopause Relief & Treatment, Physical Menopause Symptoms

You’d be surprised how many men read our blog. Some seriously want to understand what’s happening with their wives, some are just curious, and some actually have help to offer.

When Doug Pick contacted me after reading our blogs on menopause and insomnia, he wanted to introduce menopausal goddesses to his "For Women Only" earplugs and sleep mask. "Hey," I wrote back to him. "I’ve been using your earplugs for years."

I consider myself somewhat of an earplug aficionado. Bizarre but true. I’ve tried them all over the years! And the Sleep Pretty In Pink plugs are quite simply the best! I can’t stand those waxy ones or the ones that are shaped like a beige cylinder (hello, ear canals get smaller as you go in – they’re not the same size as the opening. So a cylinder shape doesn’t fit, no matter how much you try to squish it down or force it in.) And the decibel reduction has to be over 30 or you might as well put cotton balls in your ears.

Doug had a new product I’d never heard of: Sleep Pretty in Pink gelcaps. Basically, they contain l-tryptophan, the natural ingredient that is purported to make you drowsy when you eat turkey. I know, some say that whole premise is hogwash and the full Thanksgiving stomach is what really makes you sleepy while l-tryptophan has no real effect, but I like to check things out for myself. On myself. Which is the only way to find out what works for each individual.

I’ve not had insomnia for awhile, knock on anything handy. But I knew we’d be going to France and any time zone changes completely disrupt my sleep patterns. I’d be able to perform an acid test on Sleep Pretty in Pink gelcaps.

All I can say is: amazing! I found myself wide awake at midnight Paris time, but dutifully put on my nightgown, sleep mask, and pink earplugs after popping 2 gelcaps. I lay down and woke up refreshed the next morning at 730 am. No residual grogginess (someday I’ll tell you my story of taking melatonin on an earlier trip to Europe. Suffice it to say, GROGGY was the name of my game.) I repeated my pink scenario the next several nights until my body adjusted completely.

I generally don’t need the gelcaps at home, but they are a mainstay of my travel kit. I have to pack a few extras for my husband who, jealous of my ease in sleeping, finally tried them for himself. He was understandably wary after the melatonin debacle, but is now a true believer.

Doug was kind enough to send us some samples, so for the first 10 menopausal goddesses who contact me (click on the Contact Us button at the top) with their address, I’ll send out a package of 30 gelcaps with a set of Sleep Pretty in Pink earplugs. For the next 10 goddesses, I’ll send out 4 pair of Sleep Pretty in Pink ear plugs.

And let us know how they work for you. This is how we get our real information about remedies and helps for menopause and midlife: from one another. You have probably noticed that we do not have ads on this website. We don’t take money from advertisers because we want to recommend only those things that we have actually tried and found helpful.

I’ve included a link below to the website for those who’d like to purchase the pink sleep products. Or you can visit your local Walgreens, Rite Aid, Longs Drug, Wal-Mart, Raleys, or Target. And there are online saving coupons for the gelcaps (Walgreens, Rite Aid, Wal-Mart and Longs Drugs) and the sleep mask (Wal-Mart only). Pink Dreams!

http://sleepinpink.com

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Men On Pause Or Leavin Libido Loca

By on September 25, 2007 in Men and Menopause, Menopause & Emotion, Menopause in Community

Menopause – "Men on Pause" Bill Maher calls it. and while that’s not exactly true – well, it’s not exactly not true.

What I’m talking about here is Sex. I like Sex. A lot. I enjoy it, I adore my husband, sex has health benefits up the kazoo, and so on. But here’s the rub. Though I like it a lot and want to continue doing it as long as I have a skeleton covered by skin, I don’t want to do it as much as I used to. I’m no longer consumed by it.

What I’m saying is – my husband who has always been interested in sex, is even more interested now. And I gotta say, much as I love it, it feels oftentimes like I’m being fed before I have a chance to get hungry.

Add to that my husband’s newfound sensitivity. He wants to do it AND he wants to talk about it, analyze it, improve upon it, compare and contrast it. I need to get some rest!

Which brings us to Sleep vs INSOMNIA
Sleep is big for menopausal goddesses. Sleep is the new sex. We sigh with the unreserved lust previously accorded a nice ass in tight jeans when contemplating 800 thread count sheets, or a new firmer mattress with a pillow top. We used to moan in ecstasy at the thought of well……moaning in ecstasy. Now we catch our breath with desire at the thought of down comforters in silky duvet covers. Or chocolate. Chocolate always comes up when speaking of desire. Make no mistake, we are still interested in going to bed – only now we really want to sleep!
(Adapted from our upcoming book Venus Comes Of Age: The Wit and Wisdom of Menopausal Goddesses.)

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Menopause: What A Ride!

By on August 7, 2007 in Men and Menopause, Menopause & Emotion

Menopausal women are scary. No doubt about it. Just look at the abject fear on the faces around you when you start the descent on the emotional roller coaster ride.

Case in point. I’m cleaning up the kitchen after a quiet, lovely dinner. The pint of salad dressing that my husband has just made is sitting on the counter. When I try to put the lid on it, it jumps up into the air and spills. All over me, all over the floor, all over the rug in front of the sink and halfway up the wall.

I don’t know whether to curse, cry, or curl up into the fetal position. Or all three. My husband comes in, drawn by the clatter. He takes one look at me and says hurriedly, "Just wipe yourself off; I’ll clean this up." He circles me warily like a geologist trying to ascertain if a volcano is on the verge of eruption.

"I need a bath," I mutter and toddle off to bubbles and hot, rose scented water. I hear classical music as I drift off, Calgon taking me away. (My husband subscribes to the theory that music soothes the savage beast. Hey, it works.) 20 minutes later he calls in to me, "It’s all cleaned up. Are you okay now?"

Oh yeah, I am okay. More than okay. Because thankfully, I don’t have to do this alone. My partner is in the seat next to me on that roller coaster, lifting his arms high in the air and yelling, "Woo hoo, what a ride!"

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Mates of Menopause: An Open Letter from the Goddesses

By on March 16, 2007 in Hot Flashes, Men and Menopause

It’s not personal. It’s not that we don’t love you any more or find you attractive. If we are remote, weepy, cranky, or so hot that we can’t stand to be touched, it’s not about you. Even though it affects you. We are just doing our best. Imagine if you went from 16 to 60 hormonally in a matter of months. I know it’s hard to conceive of such a drastic event – your changes happen over decades, hormone levels sloping gently downward. We women are pushed abruptly off a hormonal cliff. It’s like puberty….without the good parts. Small wonder that we are almost crawling out of our skin at times.

We are not only driving you fruity, we’re driving ourselves crazy. Like in puberty. And it feels like there’s nothing we can do about it. Awareness only comes to us when we talk to other menopausal women and we find out that this process is NORMAL.

You just want the girl you married to come back? Guess what! So do we, but right now she’s nowhere in sight. The good news (according to our wise woman girlfriends) is that this transition will ease and things will get better.

What can you do? Please try to be patient, understand us and be kind. You can’t fix this, though we dearly wish that you could. Little gestures mean a lot, as illustrated by the following story:

Tori-Venus and I were sitting in her kitchen with our husbands, deep in discussion. Suddenly, the fire from inside began building – hot flashes struck both of us at the same moment. Without a word or break in the discussion, Tori’s husband stood up, wet two towels with cold water, and handed them to Tori and me. As we mopped our faces with the blessedly cool cloths, I asked him "How did you know?" "Your faces turned beet red, and I just knew," he answered calmly. Small gesture – huge help. His empathy inspired our deepest gratitude. This whole thing sucks…..and our mate cares. That’s all we really want.

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Oh Libido Where Art Thou?

By on February 28, 2007 in Life Changes & Stages, Men and Menopause, Physical Menopause Symptoms

Some women actually experience increased libido during menopause. If this describes you, skip this part. (And know that the rest of us are so envious of you! Victoria-Venus is an exception, since she is one of you.) Decreased libido is a much more common function of menopause than the converse. It’s not that we don’t want to have sex, it’s that we just don’t think about it. At all. The hormones that stoked the fires have diminished to the point that we’re lucky if we have a pitiful little ember of lascivious desire glowing somewhere deep inside us. Our mates may worry that we no longer care for them or find them attractive. All the Venuses were clear that this was not the case; we still loved our spouses and thought they were empirically attractive. We just didn’t have any drive to act physically on that attraction.

If sex was once 50% mental (or emotional), it seems that now lovemaking is at least 98% governed by our head and heart, rather than our physical sexual organs (at least until things get rolling.) So the Venuses were in agreement that they needed to find ways to stimulate mind and emotions to remind them how much they enjoy intimate physical closeness.
Rae-Venus reads romantic books or watches chick-flicks to get "in the mood." Then she ‘remembers’ her own passion and is able to fully engage sexually with her husband.

One of our honorary Venuses likes to make sensuality ‘dates’ with her husband to make sure that physical intimacy is shared. It seems to be working well for them in maintaining their sexual connection. Sensual lingerie, candlelit dinners, music, and dancing are all great ways to get in the mood for sexual pleasure. It’s been the experience of each Venus that once physical contact is initiated, the tiny ember of lust she carries within soon blooms into a full blown romantic fire. But you may have to mark it on your calendar, because if you wait for your hormones to signal that it is time for sexual intimacy, it may never happen.
(excerpted from our upcoming book "Venus Comes of Age: The Wit and Wisdom of Menopausal Goddesses")

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