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Losing Sleep Over Menopause

My cats, Princess and Po, don’t have any trouble sleeping. Their mistress cannot claim the same. When Perimenopause first came to live at my house, my biggest complaint wasn’t hot flashes or moodswing. Insomnia topped my list of ohmigods.

All my life, I’d been a good sleeper, dropping off for seven or eight hours of deep restful zzzz’s every night. Suddenly I was waking every hour, listening to the clock tick or my husband breathing. After a week of fitful half-sleep, I was a basket case. I tried everything: white noise machines, hot milk before bed, Sominex, long bouts of computer solitaire. And midday naps, when nothing else worked.

Thankfully, I am once again able to sleep through most nights, only occasionally becoming reacquainted with wee hours wakefulness. But there are a few simple measures that might help my nocturnally-challenged goddess sisters.

Earplugs
These inexpensive little devices cut out most annoying noises so that when we find ourselves awake, we aren’t necessarily KEPT awake. Some goddesses can’t tolerate them, but I wouldn’t make it without them. (See "Menopause Annoise Us" blog entry dated 9/12/07 for why this is so.)

Face Mask
The teeniest little emission of light from the phone console or a nightlight can disrupt sleep for some of us. (Including yours truly.) I’ve found wearing a face mask to be almost as conducive to a good night’s rest as earplugs. The only problem is that sometimes they are HOT, which doesn’t work.

Limit Caffeine Near Bedtime
Some goddesses can imbibe fully leaded coffee or tea right up until time to turn in. I envy them. The rest of us have a cutoff time, after which our favorite caffeinated treats will pump us up way too much to sleep or will wake us after only a few hours. It’s a good idea to find your optimal cutoff time and stick to it. (Mine is no caffeine after 7pm.)

Easy on the Alcohol
If you are like most of us Venuses, you like an occasional glass of wine (or other favorite alcohol laced concoction.). Sadly, we have made a midlife discovery. One glass of wine relaxes us gently and we sleep well. However, two or more glasses may cause us to wake after just a few hours, too wired to go back to sleep. So we try to stick to our optimal alcohol amount if we want a full night’s sleep. Of course, during our annual gathering, we throw caution to the winds and money at the wine store.

A relatively recent issue of AARP magazine (Mar. – April 2007) had a few more hints for wakeful goddesses:

Fed Not Full
Don’t go to bed hungry – eat a couple of crackers. On the flip side, don’t eat a heavy meal just before retiring. (Makes sense.)

No Naps
Daytime snoozes can keep you up at night. (Hmmmmmm.)

Use Bedroom Only For Sleeping
Sounds like a great idea, but we just added on a new big bedroom where I also write, read, dance, and generally live, so that won’t happen at my house.
Soft Comfortable Bedding
This is a no-brainer. Even if we can’t sleep, at least we can toss and turn in 800 thread count comfort.

Lull Yourself Back to Sleep
If you can’t drift to sleep after 20 minutes of restlessness, get up and do something quiet, author Susan Roberts recommends.
Some of the Venuses read or play endless games of computer solitaire. Others prefer to do something productive; actually crossing things off their to-do list till their eyelids become droopy. Next time you find yourself awake when you ought to be asleep, notice what works or doesn’t in regaining your rest, and let your sister goddesses know by leaving a "Comment".

In the meantime, we wish you all sweet dreams and blissful nights of uninterrupted slumber.

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Menopause An-Noise Us

Along with so many weird phenomenon attributed to the Change comes a newfound sensitivity to noise. The simple sound of breathing can be too much, too loud. The football game, the leaf blower, or the stereo are in danger of triggering a psychotic break. Even my favorite music or the mew of a beloved cat can tighten my neck muscles so taut that my shoulders rise up to my ears and my teeth clench tighter than a victim of lockjaw. Most of the menopausal women I know suffer from this malady. Sound is more than an irritant – it’s an invasion.

Perhaps our menopausal hypersensitivity to noise can be likened to that of people who overdevelop one sense when another sense is waning or diminished. We seem to be losing our visual acuity (along with our mind – but that’s another story), but we can hear every freaking sound for miles around. Clock tick, computer hum, bird chatter, cereal crunch, water drip, coffee slurp, page turn, leaf fall, breeze blow, tire whoosh, stomach gurgle, icemaker, fridge motor. It is sensory overload and threatens our sweet dispositions, not to mention our sanity.

I’ve managed this week to wend my way into the back canyons of Zion National Park in Utah, where I can soothe myself with the rhythms and ripples of rosy sandstone. Red rock simply sits there beaming beauty and it does it QUIETLY.

Although we can’t always travel to out of the way places to find quietude, we can find ways to garner solitude and silence in our daily lives: in our garden, taking a walk, or indulging in a warm (not hot) bath. Midlife women crave quiet.
(Adapted from our upcoming book "Venus Comes of Age: The Wit and Wisdom of Menopausal Goddesses".)

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Menopause Has Got Me Worried

Worry. Fretting. Nervousness. I rarely suffered from these conditions prior to beginning my menopausal journey. I remember thinking, "I don’t worry. This is just not me." Alas, it is me. And you. Now.

Heck, everyone’s been anxious off and on through their life prior to now. And as time has progressed, we’ve garnered enough lived experience to know that most things work themselves out, with or without our intervention. But our worrywart mechanism can significantly spike during menopause’s hormonal vortexes and we find ourselves just generally fretting. We used to worry about our kids’ safety and well being, whether the old car would make it another year, or whether we’d make the deadline at work. Now we add to normal worrying, a sort of jitteriness about nearly everything. Or nothing. Phantom what-if shadows seem to stalk us and we may experience an non-specific sense of doom.

The Venuses don’t really know of any specific remedies that decrease the anxiety of menopause per se. Sure there are some herbal anti-anxiety supplements but we felt we just didn’t know enough about them. Our fretting was never overwhelming, but it was annoying. If it had been worse, we likely would have seen a therapist.

We did practice giving ourselves little "reality checks" when our worrying was excessively annoying. We would ask ourselves, "What is happening right now, this moment?" (Usually the answer was "Nothing.") "Am I safe, alive, comfortable, etc?" Then we took deep breaths and decided not to panic until we had something to actually panic about, rather than a mental litany of "what ifs". This actually helped ease our jitters quite a bit, although some days our practice worked better than others.

What helped most is knowing that anxiety during menopause is NORMAL! And sharing it with our girlfriends, rather than worrying that we are worrying, alleviated our stress a great deal. Just another of the merry surprises of the menopausal journey.

The best news is this: THIS TOO SHALL PASS. It gets better with time. I’m actually back to my previous non-worry state, and so are many of my girlfriends. Hang in there, eat chocolate, and have a glass of wine now and again.

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iFeel Cooler Already

My husband got an iPhone the other day and I got an iFan. Personally, I think I got the better deal.

Summertime is a beautiful season, but it IS hot. For those of us who are hormonally challenged, the search for cooling measures is neverending. One of my favorite quick cool measures is Deep Cooling Body Lotion by Emerita. (see link below) I don’t know what’s in it (except that it’s all natural) and I don’t care. It cools me off when the heat flares through me like my own personal forest fire.

I like really simple cooling measures, too, like a bag of frozen peas placed strategically on neck, face, arms, etc. And fans. Fans are low tech wonders that can take the fire out of a hot flash. Tori-Venus brought all the Venuses beautiful Japanese hand fans at our first gathering. In addition, I have an electric fan by my bed. And now I have one to wear around my neck like a mini emergency response team. It looks just like an iPod, cute and functional. My menopause-savvy husband found it at the Rite-Aid drugstore. When he presented it to me, I grabbed it to me and gratefully whispered, "iLove you."
Click on the link below for Emerita’s website and the Deep Cooling Body Lotion.

http://www.emerita.com

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Menopause Strikes Another Match – Burning Mouth Syndrome

The sheer number of atrocities and indignities visited upon menopausal women is legion. Among the Venuses, we thought we’d pretty much experienced them all: hot flashes, night sweats, tender tatas, dry skin, eyes, and hair, emotional roller coaster rides, memory loss, fatigue, weight gain and more.

We literally thought that nothing the big M dished out could surprise us. Then Burning Lip Syndrome and its nasty little cousin, Burning Mouth Syndrome, (BMS) brought us to our virtual knees.

One of our readers wrote asking for information and/or help because she suffers this bizarre menopausal malady. Emphasis on the word suffers! Our research turned up vague, sometimes contradictory information on treatment. Sifting through the medicalese, here’s what we found.

Burning Lip and Burning Mouth Syndromes occur most frequently in menopausal and post-menopausal women. Pain may be mild to severely debilitating, even depriving one of sleep. Although it is associated with diabetes and depression, cause is really unknown. (Only one source noted that depression could result from BMS, rather than cause it. Ya think???)

Treatments include heavy-duty prescription drugs such as antidepressants (eg Elavil), tranquilizers, or anticonvulsants. Capsaicin (the hot stuff in chili peppers) actually worked for a fair amount of people, with a lot less side effects.

Finally, a substance naturally present in our bodies called alpha lipoic acid can be taken as a supplement and was shown in one double blind clinical trial to result in significant symptom improvement. Check out burningmouthsyndrome.org for details and to order the supplement.

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Hot Flash Prevention – Avoiding the ?Triggers?

A number of external stimuli can trigger a hot flash and most health ‘experts’ recommend avoiding them to decrease amount and severity of your hot flashes. Caffeine, chocolate, and alcoholic beverages are three of the main culprits associated with hot flashes. You may choose to decrease your consumption of these substances or avoid them altogether. The Venuses as a group felt that giving up these three pleasures was tantamount to living a life without sunshine. After all, we had already relinquished so many of the pleasures we once took for granted: sleeping through the night, having a sex drive, and a firm, youthful body. A couple of our goddesses already avoid caffeine or alcohol, but most of us think we’d rather give up our health care consultants than our wine, chocolate, or coffee.

Other hot flash inducers include but are not limited to: warm weather, tight clothing, synthetic clothing, hot beverages, anything touching your skin, movement, sitting still, hot food, down pillows or comforters, and breathing. Some of these you can avoid, others you just have to live with Unfortunately. If your discomfort is still an 11 on a scale of 1 to 10, you might want to avail yourself of a remedy. Among us, we’ve tried them all! We’ll share our best info, advice, and cautions in succeeding blog entries.

PS to all you goddesses out there. What topics are most pressing to you right now? Perimenopause? Heavy bleeding? Hot Flashes? Decreased libido? HRT vs herbal vs bioidenticals? Emotional changes? Mental changes? Midlife – where do we go from here? Let us know either in the comments section or by clicking on contact us at the top of the Home page so that we can make this conversation most relevant to you.

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