butterfly blues © lynette sheppard

When I asked for ideas for the third theme for the Menopause Goddess Blog, I was deluged with creative titles from goddesses. I heard from women post pausal and those simply looking forward to that happy day. One thing is for sure, creativity is definitely blooming in the Menopause years.

There were so many good ideas that it was hard to choose. Yeah, yeah, I know. Everyone says that with every contest, but I’m not just blowing smoke here. It was tough, tough, tough. And I will say that most of the ideas will now be subcategories of the main theme.

As you know, we needed a theme that in 16 characters described all the ramifications of the post pausal years (save aging and menopause, since those are the other two themes.) This title had to include our being and becoming for our second Act. It had to suggest growing into our “new” selves, what we might leave behind, and our life’s journey from here on.

Before I announce the winner, here are themes that are the runners-up. These are all first runners-up and deserve admiration and contemplation because each describes at least one facet of the post-pausal journey.

Meaning of Life, Voila, Eureka, Pause to Play, Embracing Wisdom, Elder Wisdom, Evolution, Nirvana, Legacy, Grace, YouPlay, Vision, Return to Sanity, Age of Wisedom, Pausitive Changes, Our New Chapter, New Beginnings, From Now On, LIfe after Menopause, Our Act 2, Past Pause, Beyond Big M, Elderiffic, Journey Part 2, Pause Then Effect, Living Our Dreams, Life’s Vision, Being and Becoming, Wise Woman Phase, Phase 2, Meaning Full.

Whew. And just a few more noteworthy entries.

“Theia” was suggested by Laura S. She is the elder Titanis goddess of sight and the shining light of heaven (“aither”). She was the mother of Sun, Moon and Dawn. Her name is also connected with words meaning “foresight” and “prophecy”. I love the symbology.

One of my favorites is AfterPause (thanks, Carol). However, my good friend Dee Adams of Minnie Pauz cartoon fame has actually begun a section on her site called Afterpause. Check it out if you haven’t already.

I also loved “AARP Why Me? I’m not Ready” submitted by Mrs. V. even though it exceeds the 16 characters; it’s so apt.

Okay, finally. Drum roll please. The winner is Jennifer Worsham with her theme title: “Second Adulthood”. This title encompasses everything: the celebration of Voila, the leaving a mark of Legacy, the looking ahead of Vision, and all the permutations of Wisdom, Play, and Living Our Dreams that our post-pausal journey will unfold.

So Jennifer, please send me your mailing info to lynette@9points.com and I’ll send out your copy of “The Big M” right away. Congratulations.

And congrats and thank you to all the goddesses who so generously gave of themselves and their creative wordplay to all of us.
We all win when we make it out the other side of the Pause, no doubt about it.

techno trials by lynette sheppard

Technology. Gotta love it; gotta hate it sometimes.

I love my Macintosh computer and my iPhone. I love how they talk to each other keeping my email and calendar up to date. I love, love, love my iPad. And of course, my trusty iPod. Mostly though, I love technology because it connects me to such an amazing community of wild, wise women.

Still sometimes, I despise technology. Twitter won’t let me tweet because there are already too many li’l birds singing out there. Or I’m confounded yet again by the “new and improved” Facebook. Or my mail program says it can’t send for no discernable reason.

Or the plug-ins that cause Menopause Goddess Blog to operate, roll over and play dead when we upgrade to the latest, greatest WordPress platform. (Which we have to do about every fifteen freaking minutes, it seems. Hellooooooooooo. Can we have a little consistency around here?!?)

Okay, enough ranting. Here’s why this is important just now. We’re extending the contest to name the third theme of blog topics on Menopause Goddess Blog for one more week, because the “Contact Us” button decided to quit working or go on extended vacation or something. And we don’t know how long it has been kaput.

So while my web magician works on a new one (we are dumping the plug-in that refused to perform and programming a hardwired solution), I will ask (read plead) for any of you who sent your wonderful suggestions and ideas to me to resend them to menopausegoddess@aol.com I would hate to miss any of your wise woman brilliance.

We’ve already had a number of cool suggestions for the theme that will cover the second half of our lives, after the worst of the pause, when we focus on such things as legacy, vision, who we might become, and so on.

All this has to fit into 16 characters (including spaces, I believe). Whew, tall order. Remember, winner gets a copy of The Big M (and if she already has it, a Big M Jewel box.)

Okay, goddesses. Send us your best. And remember, when technology gets cranky, don’t you follow suit. Just head for the chocolate and wine. Hmmmmmmm. I need to follow my own advice. Time for tootsie rolls and Merlot.

Supposedly, the sense that is the most evocative of memory is smell. And I can attest that sometimes that is true. The scent of chalkdust and newly sharpened pencils definitely takes me back to grade school.

But I think that hearing might be a contender for top memory honors as well. Specifically when related to hearing music. In fact, listening to music from our past may even open up time travel.

Case in point: Theresa Venus and I (along with spouses and friends) attended an Elton John concert the other night. And suddenly, while dancing and singing along to songs we knew by heart, we were 17 again. Okay, it was really dark, so that helped the illusion.

Still, the years just fell away as the sunset faded into twilight and the full moon made its entrance. Flooded with happy nostalgia,  we slipped into that youthful experience of pure, rocking joy in the moment, needing nothing more, feeling the promise of life stretching out ahead of us.

Just like now. Our life stretches out ahead of us – at least the second half of it. And remembering will keep us vibrant and alive. Youth may be wasted on the young, but if we tap into it, it won’t be wasted on us menopause goddesses as we leap into our second childhood.

So, in the title I quote two of my favorite (and apropos) Elton John songs. I say them as a mantra: The Bitch is Back. And I’m Still Standing.  And dancing, and singing, and laughing out loud. I’m fifty fifteen and ready for rock and roll. Join me!

Click the link for a little taste of the magic:

Elton John Concert Lake Tahoe 2010

Transforming by lynette sheppard

God, I hope so! While I am officially post-menopausal, maladies of the change intrude every so often, capturing my attention and giving me fodder for the Menopause Goddess Blog. That was and is great.

Lately, though, I’ve been feeling restless. As the most annoying manifestations of the Big M fade into background noise, I ask myself “What’s Next?” “What will I be doing five years from now?” “Dear goddess, will I still be writing about the Pause?”

Driving to my daughter’s house last weekend, I broached the subject with my husband. “I want to write about other things that are more front and center for me and the Venuses now,” I told him. “But I sure don’t want to bail on my sister goddesses just beginning or in the midst of the Change. I’m confused and conflicted.”

“Why does it have to be either or?” he asked. “Keep the blog as is, write some about the Big M and add the relevant musings about being beyond the Pause.”

Well, duh. It was so obvious that I couldn’t see it.

So from here on out, there will be three basic themes that Menopause Goddess Blog addresses. All categories that we see now (and new ones to come) will fall under the heading of one of these three themes. The first theme is Menopause. The second is Aging Gracefully. The third is up to you all to title.

I want to focus on who we are becoming for our second half of life. What is our vision for the next fifty years? Who do we wish to be? What legacy, if any, shall we leave behind us?

At first, I thought to call this third theme “Midlife Matters”. Then my mate, Dewitt, oh so tactfully pointed out that technically I’m past midlife. (Thanks for that , sweetie.)

So I’m asking all my sister goddesses for help. Help me name this theme. And to sweeten the deal, let’s make it a contest. Submitter of the  best name choice will receive a signed copy of The Big M. And if you already have the book? Then your prize will be a lovely wooden Big M jewel box.

I’m excited to see what you all come up with. And excited to embark upon new topics as we grow together. And hey, if you have any topic ideas? Or want to offer a guest blog post? Send them on!

Dee Adams is one of the very first Menopause health activists. 16 years ago she created Minnie Pauz, a cartoon character who spoke for hot flashers everywhere.

Her website continues to save women’s sanity and help them through the transition of the Big M with humor and real information. The Venuses only wish they’d found her sooner! (Or maybe not – we might not have been so motivated to create our own group of goddesses.) Luckily, we’ve found her now.

Dee recounted the beginning of Minnie in our recent phone conversation. She was recovering from a traumatic divorce, but making it on her own, when she broke her ankle. During her convalescence, she was laid off from her job.

Unemployed, in a dinky duplex, depressed and on public assistance, Dee thought it couldn’t get any worse. And menopause struck.

The Missouri Rehab Work Center intervened by getting her a computer so she could work from home, while her ankle healed. Things were looking up a bit. However, menopause remained a challenge (like it does.)

Then inspiration dawned. One day, an idea of a menopausal cartoon character just popped into her head full blown complete with name and spelling:  Minnie Pauz. Dee had never drawn a cartoon in her life!

But she was filled with thoughts and feelings about all the changes the Big M visits upon us. She reasoned, rightly, that she couldn’t be the only woman blindsided by this forced journey. Her natural humor helped her cope and she was moved to offer her laughter and learnings to similarly afflicted women.

Minnie has gained a following by illuminating the joys and sorrows of Menopause. She verbalizes the thoughts we all have as we Change.

Minnie Pauz devotees may notice that we always see Minnie from the back. Dee shares that she doesn’t like how she draws faces. She still doesn’t know what Minnie looks like, but the consequence of never seeing her face makes her everywoman. As Dee says, she’s sort of like Wilson on the TV show Home Improvement – the next door neighbor whose face is never revealed.

What advice does she have for women going through the most world shattering transition since puberty? “You have to look at everything. What works for one woman won’t work for another.”

Dee is expanding her website even as we speak. Having survived and thrived during menopause (while helping so many of us through it), she is now examining Life after Menopause. She calls her new venture “Afterpause” and it appears on the bottom of her home page as a door, which she says will be gradually opening. Watch for it! Because we’re not done yet!

Sign up for your free Minnie Pauz newsletter at minniepauz.com to get your laughs direct to your mail inbox. Better yet, order Dee’s book, Laugh Your Way Through Menopause for a bigger dose of Minnie’s midlife musings. And you can become a Fan of Minnie on Facebook, too.

Calling all Menopause Goddesses. We need your help in a cutting edge new study. As you all know, research on the menopause transition has been sadly lacking.  I have been bitching about that for what seems like forever.

Thanks to Menopause Goddess, Dee Adams, the creator of Minnie Pauz Menopause cartoons, I learned of an exciting new study in progress.

Mary Fischer, a nursing doctoral student at University of Massachusetts is exploring women’s experiences with discontinuing hormone therapy. How timely is that?

So many goddesses, including yours truly, are working to discontinue our hormone therapy – and frankly, like so much of the Big M, this is uncharted territory. Fear and loathing on the Menopause Trail, you might say.

Thankfully, this new study is qualitative in nature. Rather than simply yes or no answers, our experience in our own words is requested in addition to necessary quantitative data. Which as we Menopause Goddesses know is one of the major ways we share information: through stories of personal experience.

If you are a Menopause Goddess in the process of decreasing or discontinuing your HRT (hormone replacement therapy) or have already ceased your HRT, I urge you to contact Mary to participate in the study. I’ve already gratefully filed out the online study after signing the informed consent and receiving my user name and password.

This is how we will help ourselves and the women who come after us (like our daughters) to have an easier Menopause journey. Women sharing wisdom: that’s what it’s all about.

Contact Mary Fischer at 508-877-3316 or email her at mary.fischer@umassmed.edu to get started.

Finally, it is important that we begin to talk about these issues openly. Especially with one another. That’s the first step to regaining our health. Oh, and it is not just menopausal women who suffer from these problems. Many of our daughters will have urinary and vaginal health issues after pregnancy. It’s wonderful to know that there is help.

Here is the news release from Vanessa:

The Fight for Mother’s Rights – 1st Annual Vaginal Rejuvenation Awareness Day (April 30th, 2010)

San Antonio, TX

Vaginal-Surgery.info is excited to announce the 1st Annual Vaginal Rejuvenation Awareness Day will take place on Friday, April 30, 2010.

With Mother’s Day right around the corner, now is the perfect time to shine some light on a condition millions of mothers suffer with daily and yet never talk about.

Vaginal relaxation, Stress Urinary Incontinence (SUI), bladder or uterine prolapse and cystocele/rectocele are very real medical problems for mothers that can be corrected.

Unfortunately, a majority of the women suffering from these physical issues are too nervous or embarrassed to discuss them with their doctor or even gynecologist.

Vaginal Rejuvenation Awareness Day aims to open the dialogue on this sensitive and often misunderstood subject and provide women a safe place to ask questions, explore their options or just have a voice.

According to Vanessa Scott, vaginal surgery consultant and founder of Vaginal-Surgery.info, “90% of the women I meet with have never talked about this problem with anybody else, not even their husband or partner. I believe that information and knowledge are the first steps to empowering these women.”

It is reported that 30 million American women suffer from symptoms of vaginal relaxation, primarily due to childbirth.

In less than 1 year, Vaginal-Surgery.info has had visits from women in more than 109 countries. This is truly a global problem. The changes to a woman’s body during childbirth are the same whether a woman is in the U.S. or Algeria.
“Frankly, vaginal rejuvenation is often sold as ‘better sex’. I think that has a lot to do with the surgeons that pioneered cosmetic gynecology. However, in my experience, better sex is usually secondary for these women. The primary benefits are actually no more urine leakage or prolapse issues and simply feeling “normal” again. Better sex really just ends up being the icing on the cake.”

Anybody can participate in the 1st Annual Vaginal Rejuvenation Awareness Day by doing the following:
ο On Friday, April 30, 2010, visit the Vaginal Rejuvenation page of our website. (http://vaginal-surgery.info/vaginal-rejuvenation.html)
ο Click on the links to Vaginal Rejuvenation Awareness Day to:
o Give your opinion on vaginal rejuvenation.
o Ask questions about vaginal rejuvenation.
o Add your responses to our online polls.
o Share your thoughts and comments.
o Read what others have written to expand your own understanding.
“We all have a mother. And her body went through some amazing changes in order for us to be here today. I think we owe it to mothers everywhere to give their bodies a platform to be heard. If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, I encourage you to take part in Vaginal Rejuvenation Awareness Day and help further the conversation for women everywhere.”

Research suggests that a woman can take hormones for 3-5 years with no increase in side effects like cancer, stroke, or blood clots. Bioidentical hormones might be safer, but we don’t know that for sure. So my goal had been three years of hormones and then au naturel.

“I tried to go off this month,” my MD shared. “But I was dripping on my patients and it is just too hot with summer right around the corner. So I’m going to wait.” Feeling that to be prudent, I decided that I’d wait also. Summer is enough of a trial for the thermically challenged without tempting fate!

This month I went back for my annual checkup and broached the subject again. Had my MD (we’ll call her Dr. A) decreased or discontinued her HRT (hormone replacement therapy)? She had not.

I proposed that she and I try to decrease and ultimately discontinue our hormone therapy together. “It’ll be fun,” I told her. “It might be fun,” she mused with a small frown.

Furthermore, we agreed to keep track on a daily basis of any symptoms or signs of withdrawal from estrogen addiction and to post our progress right here on Menopause Goddess Blog.

So, starting one week from today, two real Menopausal women, an MD and an RN, will attempt the terrifying, amazing feat of weaning ourselves from pill and patch. Evel Knievel, eat your heart out.

Like the Cowardly Lion as he prepares to storm the witch’s castle to rescue Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, I have just one favor to ask our sister goddesses before we run this gauntlet. Talk us out of it! (Just kidding. Sort of. No really.)

Lastly, if you’ve already performed this heroic act of derring-do? Tell us how it went for you. We’ll take all the preparation, encouragement, and ideas we can get! And chocolate. Please send chocolate.

by lynette sheppard

Sometimes, though, the whole Menopause journey is so sucky that it’s hard to remember to laugh. And for those times we have a whole slew of cyber girlfriends to start us giggling at the absurdity once again.

Minnie Pauz is a cartoon menopausal everywoman. Check her out at minniepauz.com and sign up to get the cartoons. Better yet, buy the book! You’ll be hearing more about her in an upcoming blog entry where her creator, Dee Adams, tells how Minnie came to be.

A newcomer to our internet coffee klatch (or wine tasting, whatever) is 4honeybunch2.com. She has a line of hilarious cards, magnets, and more. And what I love most? She’ s not trying for political correctness – just telling it like it is.

The universality of the Menopause experience transcends borders (and so much more!) Izzy Muses In her humorous blog covers menopause and Other Midlife Matters from her home in the Emerald Isle.

The self-described Queen of Planet Hot Flash leads with “Put On Your Big Girl Panties and Deal With It” on her blogsite. Her menopausal rants are definitely good for a chuckle. Sadly, she hasn’t posted much lately, maybe Planet Hot Flash is going through some climate change. Like all of us. I can relate.

Longtime reader and blogger friend, Poetikat ,wrote this alphabet soup comparison poem about the difference HRT can make for some of us menopausal goddesses.

Three Letters Can Make a Big Difference

Without HRT
acrimonious
bitchy
confrontational
disgruntled
exasperated
furious
grave
hellish
irate
jugular
kick-ass
long-suffering
malevolent
nettled
overwrought
provoked
quick to judge
rage filled
snippy
tightly-wound
uncontrollable
vitriolic
wigged out
x is for murder
yelling
zoo-bound

Verdict: Locked up!

With HRT
agreeable
benevolent
composed
delighted
enervated
funny
gleeful
hilarious
incandescent
jocular
kick-up-your-heels
laughing
merry
nice (and naughty)
open-minded
pleasant
quiet
restful
soothing
tranquil
unflappable
vibrant
warm
x is for xstatic
yearning
zip-a-dee-doo-dah!
Verdict: Set free!

Many thanks to all these menopause goddesses helping us cope by making us laugh!

Recently, I came across a conversation on one of my favorite websites, Vibrant Nation, asking the question “Can We Prevent Menopause?”

It was started by a woman who calls herself BHRT For Me. Here’s what she wrote:

“I came across this site: http://www.preventingmenopause.com/

I think preventing menopause altogether makes good sense. I’m 57 and I keep saying that I am treating my symptoms of menopause with bioidentical hormones, when really what I want is to stop menopause. I realized that when I saw this site.

I cycle every month and have never been without periods because of the hormones I use. Still, don’t we stop ovulating because we are out of eggs? How do you prevent the loss of eggs?

Interesting concept though, since we live so much longer now (average life expectancy of a woman in 1900 was about 48).”

Responses from readers varied from enthusiastic to appalled. Of course, every woman has to choose her own path navigating the wild woods of Menopause, so the variety of responses was not surprising.

Then a perceptive reader who calls herself Dallas Lady posed this question to BHRT For Me:

“If it makes you feel better and you are OK with it–that is all that matters.

But I am curious and for the sake of full transparency I feel compelled to ask:

Do you have a professional interest in BHRT? Do you receive any income whatsoever from any source associated from BHRT?

It just seems unusual to me that it is so central to your identity that you choose that as a “screen name” on here and your reference to a website also struck me as a bit of an unexpected endorsement not usually seen by those here unless they have a sales interest.”

I kept checking back to see her answer. And there was nothing. Nada. Zip.

Oh, she managed to answer and converse with several other readers, but Dallas Lady’s question went unanswered.

That bugged me. But I figured I’d best give her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she hadn’t seen Dallas Lady’s query. So I wrote the following:

“I have to say that preventing menopause sounds like preventing puberty. Menopause is not a disease, although I do concur that it can freaking feel like one sometimes.

I take BHRT in a low dose, did not start until I had fully transitioned into menopause for a couple years, so no periods for me. (Which I gotta say seems a little weird for any woman to have periods when we are meant to cease -just like it would be strange not to start having cycles when we hit our teens.)

I am taking hormones because of horrendous hot flashes and other symptoms. I plan to decrease and discontinue them soon. Other parts of our body begin to make estrogen after our ovaries seemingly come to a screeching halt, though it may take a little time. I think (read hope) mine might be kicking back in. But I sure don’t expect (or even want) my hormones to be at the same level as in my thirties.

There is no one right answer or solution for treating a woman’s menopause. Every woman must weigh risks vs benefits, severity of symptoms, and general life quality – then decide if or which remedies to take. Bioidentical hormones are one choice, as are soy, herbs, and the like. Or meditation. Or nothing.

No one thing works for every one – (and some things that work for a while may not work later.) Also everything may entail risk for a particular individual woman.

I am also very curious as to why I did not see an answer from you to Dallas Lady’s question about whether you have a professional or financial interest in BHRT and/or the website you mention. I believe she asked a very clear question – I tell all the women who write me on Wellsphere or my Menopause Goddess Blog site to be wary of any site or person that advocates one right answer for their menopause (or any health issue.) FYI – I do not receive any monies for my website or my involvement in Wellsphere. I always hope that sales of my book (The Big M) will keep me afloat. But it is a labor of love and as a health care professional and activist, I’ll keep going.

Would love to know more about your connection to the website – please answer here. thanks so much for bringing up the topic.”

Lynette Sheppard RN
Menopause Community Health Maven, Wellsphere.com
Creator/Moderator Menopause Goddess Blog
Blog Circle Contributor Vibrant Nation and Jane Nation
Menopause Examiner for Examiner.com
Author of “The Big M”

Yep, I put in all my credentials just to make sure I got an answer. And did I? Of course not. Which brings me to the one Latin phrase I remember from nursing school: caveat emptor. Let the buyer beware. That’s you. And me.

I checked out the website she was pushing. It appears to be a one-right-answer site. And I couldn’t really ascertain who it represented. Another reason for caveat emptor.

I’m not at all bothered by BHRT’s choice of name for herself or by her wholehearted enthusiasm for her topic. I wouldn’t fault her for pushing an agenda that she might profit from. I do fault withholding information that might help us make informed decisions.

The question might not be “Can We Prevent Menopause”, but rather “Should We?” And “What Are the Costs?” What do you think?