Category — Menopause Relief & Treatment

Navigating the net can be confusing and disheartening. When you google the word menopause, you are bombarded with almost 10 million results. (9,680,000 to be exact.) Sheesh! Where does one start? How do we find good information?

Googling menopause blogs is not much more helpful. The top results are blogs that have few or new entries for several months. Sadly, Sue Richards of the top result, My Menopause Blog, has Parkinson’s disease and is unable to blog at this time. Google is woefully behind.

Add to that the overwhelming number of blogs and sites that are moderated by drug companies or selling something and it is no wonder that menopausal women are hard pressed to find good information on the net. The whole process just wears us down and we have to head to the kitchen for something chocolate.

So to save my goddess sisters from frustration and meltdown, I’ve compiled a list of what I believe are the best websites and blogs for women of a certain age. (Besides our own Menopause Goddess Blog, of course.) Here are the first few you will want to check out. Feel free to celebrate with the aforementioned chocolate.

Women in Balance
Women in Balance ( http://www.womeninbalance.org/) is a national, nonprofit organization whose mission is to empower women to take charge of their hormone health.

Education is a mainstay of this site. Not affiliated with any other group, they offer unbiased information from a multitude of sources. Their site also offers a healthcare practitioner finder. Subscribe to their monthly newsletter and watch for their one day Hormone Education days in a city near you. Last year’s hugely successful venues were Portland OR and Tampa FL.

They also publish selected entries from our Menopause Goddess Blog in the monthly newsletter. However, I loved and followed their site long before they asked.

I especially resonate with this philosophy from their Vision statement:
Knowledge is power. Balance is everything.
Hear, hear.

Vibrant Nation
Vibrant Nation (VibrantNation.com) is an online community dedicated to women 50 and older. Here’s an excerpt from their “About Us” description:

“At Vibrant Nation, these women (whom we’ve named “Vibrant Women”) can look for tips, share information, and join in smart conversations about work, style, relationships, wellness, books, and more.”

It’s a very user friendly site, where you can start a discussion or conversation easily. Or you can just “lurk” and read what other women are saying. Topics are broken up into the following:

# work & money
# fashion & beauty
# family & relationships
# love & sex
# health & fitness
# books
# technology & internet
# spirituality
# home & garden
# giving back
# going green
# food & drink
# arts & entertainment
# travel
# news & politics

They partner with all manner of vibrant women bloggers in the Blog Circle and are growing a real voice in the marketplace, making women over 50 a force to be reckoned with.

Lastly, I love the name. Vibrant. Yes, we are.

Minnie Pauz
Humor is what saves us during the menopause journey, so the third site we’ll highlight in this blog entry is Minnie Pauz menopause cartoons. (http://www.minniepauz.com/) Hilarious and all too true, cartoon heroine Minnie Pauz says “If you don’t get it, You ain’t there yet.”

You can subscribe to the newsletter to get the latest cartoon. The moderator also has a good blog and a bulletin board where women can post issues and dialogue with one another. I personally found the bulletin board format a little confusing and “busy”, so it wasn’t my favorite part of the site.

I’ll be sharing more cyberspace gold in upcoming blog entries. For now, check these out and let me know what you think or share your favorite sites with us here at Menopause Goddess Blog

As a nurse, I belong to a continuing education / latest research site called Medscape. It’s nothing short of wonderful. When I think of the sheer poundage of my professional magazines that I subscribed to in the past, it boggles the mind. (And stimulates my guilt reflex when pondering how many trees gave their lives so that I might give better nursing care.)

Now with a couple of keystrokes, I can stuff my few remaining brain cells with the latest nursing and medical knowledge. Amazing. I love love love the internet. But I digress – which happens to me a lot since The Big M.

I’d like to share a few of the latest research findings regarding menopausal women.

Hot Flashes Sufferers Live Longer?
I received a tweet the other day that stated “research shows women that have a large number of hot flashes live longer.” I went to the actual study and found that in truth, it was women that reported night sweats in addition to their hot flashes. They had a 30% lower mortality rate from heart disease than women who didn’t suffer from nocturnal overheating, irrespective of risk factors or HRT (hormone replacement therapy) usage.

Wow. I believe that I will likely live to 210 years of age if this is true. Thank God for wicking sleepwear. (Stay tuned for the debut of our Menopause Marketplace to find great wicking sleepwear vendors.)

Does Depression Affect Menopausal Symptoms?
This study found that women suffering depression reported more menopause symptoms. Conversely, the authors were surprised to find that menopause also seemed to lead to more depression. The first thing I have to say about these results is “Well , DUH!”

The second is that this sounds a little like “Which came first, the chicken or the egg?” Which we could debate forever, but why would we want to?

Most important were the conclusions of the study – that identification and treatment of depression might help with symptoms of menopause as well.

True enough, but at what cost? We are already seeing a number of articles promoting antidepressants to treat menopause, which really is like trying to shoot a fly with an elephant gun. While I am the first to say that menopause symptoms suck, I also believe in the remedy with the least side effects that helps.

I strongly believe in antidepressant drugs when necessary. When depression causes significant disruption of daily life activities or relationships or suicidal thoughts, then pharmaceutical treatment along with professional therapy can be life saving.

But we need to assess a matter of degree with depression. Some mild depression, e.g. feeling sad and blue, weepy, not motivated during menopause affected all of the Goddesses to some degree. When we shared it with one another, it lessened greatly. It was wonderful to find out that it was normal and it was likely temporary.

Two of our goddesses have suffered from depression pre-menopause and have taken antidepressant therapy successfully. The rest of us just felt crappy for awhile.

Risk for Major Depression Increases During and After Menopause

Basically this study found that the risk of major depression doubles during perimenopause and menopause when compared with premenopause. That sounds about right. To put that in perspective, if two of your twenty friends suffered a major depressive episode before any of you went into menopause, then it might be likely that 4 of your friends would suffer a major depressive episode. Leaving 16 feeling blue and “normally” depressed.

I couldn’t find out how the researchers defined major depressive episode. One of the researchers did make this statement, which was billed in the Medscape article as the take-home message for clinicians. “When women come in and are thinking that they have some extra difficulties with life and feel down and blue…take it seriously. It is not just a passing thing.”

Okay, that worries me. Because it describes nearly every menopausal woman I’ve known at some point in her journey. I personally felt down and blue, and was dragging my weary arse through the days during the worst of the Big M. I was also hot, cranky, and sleep deprived which likely made it worse. But it WAS just a passing thing. It was normal. The best treatment I experienced (besides sleep and cooling measures) was support and commiseration from my Menopause Goddess sisters.

While I’m delighted that we are doing some research on The Big M, I have to wonder why we aren’t looking into bioidentical hormones, herbal therapies, and the effects of support groups. Could it be because there is no funding for these types of research?

So ladies, remember the one Latin legal phrase I learned in nursing school “caveat emptor”. Let the buyer beware. You are the buyer of your own health care. Pick and choose. Ask questions – lots of them. Ask about side effects and risk-benefit analysis. And not to be a conspiracy theorist, but ask yourself who might have funded a given research study? Who stood to gain?

Lastly, make sure that you are followed by a physician or nurse practitioner, not led. Most health care professionals I know actually appreciate a patient who is actively involved in her own care. And if they don’t? I’d shop around for a new health care professional/partner.

Menopause and Christmas can combine to produce exponential amounts of stress. In our constant desire for peace, harmony, and joy, Theresa-Venus and I have a few ideas for more ease and less pressure this holiday season.

1.  Give the best Christmas gift ever to your girlfriends:  no gift. Theresa-Venus and I did this last year and liked it so much we are doing it again. Let’s face it. Most of us at this stage of life feel that we already have too much stuff. The pressure to buy the perfect gift, then wrap it and deliver it is more than we need and can precipitate menopause meltdown.

2.  Jettison the Christmas card or letter.  Most of us are deluged by either chatty, newsy (read long) holiday letters or a lovely card containing nothing but a signature. Some cards have only a printed signature, which may have you wondering “What’s the point?” If you wish to send a yearly update to friends and family, wait until February 14. Frankly, most of us will appreciate it so much more and it won’t get lost in the flood of holiday greetings.

3. Do not bake cookies. With our metabolic rate slowing down and the sedentary days of winter just beginning, we don’t need the sweets or the guilt that comes with eating them. Buy those packages of little carrots shaped like tubes for snacks. Mmmmmm yummy. If you must eat cookies, know that someone else will be giving you some anyway. Do not bake any. And definitely NO cookie exchanges!

4.  Do not wrap gifts. Purchase Christmas gift bags or boxes from your favorite big box or warehouse store. Place each gift in a bag and voila, all the gifts will be wrapped. You will have reclaimed several hours and taken nearly all the stress out of gifting.

5.  Decorate sparingly. Try getting a smaller tree and let the grandkids decorate it. No grandkids yet?  Consider no tree unless you feel that it isn’t Christmas without it.

Put less (or no) lights outside. Strategically placed Santa, Reindeer, and Angel cloth dolls can make your home festive with very little work or time expenditure. You can find these at your local craft fair, drugstore or even grocery store.

Unless you are preparing for a shoot for Architectural Digest or House Beautiful, a frenzy of decorating just isn’t worth it.

6.  Have a Christmas potluck. Don’t spend all day cooking as if you were creating a second Thanksgiving. Go for a walk, have a snowball fight,  play with the kids instead. Read a book aloud as a family or sing carols together.

Your friends and family will not miss any of the usual Christmas trappings and if they do? They’ll soon find that they enjoy being in the company of a relaxed, pleasant, unstressed you much more than all gifts, cookies, and decorations in which you can bury yourself.

There’s a saying most of us have heard. “This moment is a gift, that’s why they call it the present.” Sure, it’s a little corny, but it really is true. Happy holidays.

My friend, M (you’ll remember her as the Menopausal Squirrel), felt pretty good about her health care practitioners. She liked and trusted her gynecologist right up until she began her menopause journey with a plethora of symptoms including hot flashes, mood swings, and insomnia. That’s when things got ugly.

On an office visit, she asked  about remedies and symptom relief. Her gynecologist recommended HRT. M. wasn’t too keen on that idea given the press since the WHI study. “What else can  I do? ” she asked. “Antidepressants” was the answer.  “No other options?” she queried. “There’s nothing else we can do,” she was told.

She walked out of the office and never went back.

Now I’ll be the first to admit that it can’t be pleasant to have a hot, bitchy woman demanding relief and answers in your office when you don’t really know what will help. And I truly understand as a health care practitioner how much you want to offer a definitive answer to such questions. Especially when your local drug rep has just offered you a sheaf of paperwork detailing why this might be a great new use for an old favorite drug.

Still, I gotta think that “I don’t know” might be a better start than “How about an antidepressant?” A fabulous followup might be “I’ll try to find out what other options might be helpful.”

A simple medical professional review session is in order here for all healthcare professionals involved in the care of menopausal women. And all menopausal goddesses are invited to read along to learn how to frame some of their questions in discussions about symptom relief or management.
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Review Statement # 1:   There is no silver bullet.
This is a phrase often used in health care circles to mean that there is no single drug, therapy, or regimen that will eradicate, alleviate, or cure any given syndrome or set of symptoms.

(It is well known that health professionals speak their own language – not sure where the silver bullet metaphor came from unless it was referring to the single thing that can kill a werewolf. While we may feel like we change as much as these lupine creatures during menopause, there really is no silver bullet for us.)

Review Statement # 2    All treatments have adverse or side effects.
Duh! And antidepressants have some whoppers!

Review Statement # 3    All Patients Are Individual
You wouldn’t think that this would even need saying. I heard it over and over again in nursing school. Still…………..

Review Statement # 4    Choose the least interventional option first for any symptom or disease state.
Okay, fans, moisture wicking clothing, natural progesterone cream, and go up from there. Need I say more?  To suggest that HRT or antidepressants are the first or second or only answers goes contrary to this very basic rule. Never try to shoot a fly with an elephant gun.  At least not until it goes rogue.

Review Statement # 5    Conduct a Risk-Benefit Analysis before prescribing treatment.
Take into account severity of symptoms, prognosis, and medical history versus possible benefits minus adverse effects or danger of future medical problems. In other words, examine the risks and potential benefits for each individual patient together with that patient. The operative word being Together.

Are antidepressants bad?  Or wrong? Heck, no. If one is suffering from depression that interferes significantly with daily living, these drugs can literally be lifesavers. This type of clinical depression is an indication that the benefits might outweigh the not inconsiderable risks. Should they be a first line for hot flash relief? Absolutely and unequivocally NO. The risk-benefit teeter totter will be weighted the other way.

Review Statement # 6    Involve the Patient In His/Her Own Healthcare
Duh again. Yes, it’s inconvenient. Yes, it will likely take longer. And the outcome will likely be far more satisfying for all concerned.

To be fair, I can’t tell you how many physicians over the years have told me that their patients don’t want to be that involved in care decisions; they just want to be told what to do. It’s possible we consumers have been at fault by not communicating our desire for involvement or by being too compliant or passive.

We need to prove them wrong and take an active role in symptom relief and control. Empower yourself, ask questions, seek information and move ahead as a full fledged participant in your own Menopause journey.

What did M do when she left her MD’s office? She shopped around., albeit hot flashing, grumbling, and sleep deprived.

She found an integrative wellness clinic that offered wellness counseling including dietary solutions and bioidentical hormones. Options were offered only after extensive testing for her hormone status, including thyroid as well as cortisol, estrogen and progesterone levels. She’s feeling 100% better. Especially since she is now in partnership with her healthcare provider/s.

Want to learn more about your own options? Check out Women In Balance, a non-profit organization dedicated to educating women about their health and wellness options.

When I was dragging my weary bod around like a lead weight during perimenopause, I figured it was just part of the Change.  But when my hair began thinning, my hands and feet were cold even though I was so hot generally I felt like a living furnace, and my weight was going up, my nurse mind went “Aha!”.  I need my thyroid tested.  Although these symptoms are nonspecific and indeed can be from low estrogen and progesterone, I knew they could also herald hypothyroidism.

So off to my MD I went.  She ordered T3 and T4 levels as well as the more specific blood test TSH which stands for thyroid stimulating hormone.  Basically, this is the hormone that tells your thyroid gland – hey, more thyroid hormone is needed, kick it into gear and produce some.  So if you are low on thyroid hormones this TSH level should be high.

Mine wasn’t.  It was normal. My blood tests were all normal.  I didn’t think much more about it, although the symptoms continued.  My previous MD left her practice and I found a holistic practitioner who is an MD, homeopath, herbalist and runs a complementary medicine clinic.

Complementary medicine is just what is sounds like.   All the tools of Western medicine are used and complemented by other disciplines such as nutritional healing, homeopathy, herbs, massage, acupuncture, and more.  (Also called integrative medicine or holistic medicine.)

This new practitioner performed a complete physical exam and pronounced me hypothyroid as I had every clinical symptom and sign.  The blood tests?  Just not sensitive enough.

Many physicians now believe that hypothyroidism should be diagnosed on the basis of symptoms rather than blood work.  If still unsure that low thyroid hormone is the culprit, they simply place the patient on a very low dose of supplemental thyroid hormone.  If there is improvement, the diagnosis is clear.

I started my Naturethroid and within two days was sleeping through the night, my hands and feet warmed up, I had energy again, and I was calm.  It took longer for the weight gain and hair loss to stabilize, but they did.

And as time has gone on, my dosage of thyroid hormone has been decreased gradually until I take very little.  My own hormone factory has kicked in again.  I have energy and am at my ideal weight.

I’m not sure why, but with the onset of Menopause, it seems that many of us also lose thyroid hormone.  Maybe all our hormones are more intricately linked to one another than we know; maybe it is part of the overall Change.  Whatever the reason, it’s worth checking out.  We may not have to feel so tired, heavy, low energy, and mentally foggy.

To find a practitioner near you, I suggest you check out the American Holistic Medical Association.  Their website is http://www.holisticmedicine.org/ You may also Googling complementary and integrative medicine in your area.

Women In Balance, a non-profit organization, and leader in hormone balance education for women, announces one day health conferences at the Waterfront Marriott Hotel in Portland OR on Saturday August 1st, 2009 and in Orlando, FL on October 24, 2009.

The need for unbiased information on hormone balance and natural options has received great attention since Oprah Winfrey had a series of episodes discussing bio-identical hormone therapy. Women In Balance created a national series of all day conferences because of the groundswell of interest in hormone balancing and it’s impact on overall health.

"Our mission at Women in Balance is to empower women to take charge of their hormone health. Our informative conference is a wonderful way to begin the journey to optimal health", says Dr. Jane Murray MD, chair and founding member of Women in Balance, and Medical Director of Sastun Center of Integrative Health, in Overland Park, Kansas. The Conference package includes exciting national speakers, a workbook, goodie bag of product samples and a health conscious luncheon, for $50.

The event has limited seating to create an intimate space for participants to allow questions of the speakers, and networking opportunity with other women with similar issues. Topics include: Understanding Hormone Balance – How your body really works, Lifestyle approaches for Hormone Balance – Dealing with your new normal, and Options for Midlife Health – Empowering yourself to hormone balance.

To register for the conference please go online to: WomeninBalance

One of our Menopause Goddess readers (thanks, Dale) shared a useful article on bone health she found posted on womentowomen.com authored by Dr. Susan E. Brown. (link at bottom.) Of course, Women to Women pitches their own supplements and products, but their information is clear, detailed, and right on.

Advertising on blogsites and info disseminating websites tends to make me a little nervous. (That is no reflection on women to women or any other website, just a personal character trait. Some might call it a flaw.) But hey, good information is good information regardless of the source. And the more we educate ourselves, the more we are likely to make good choices for our health for the second half of our lives.

The Goddess’s Skinny on Bone Health
Menopausal women lose bone density – some more than others. It’s a good idea to get a bone scan to find out how your bones are doing. Even before you get a bone scan, there are some proactive things you can do to maintain strong, healthy bones.

Exercise
Walking, Pilates, Yoga, Tai Chi. All of these can help and should be done at least three times a week. Personally, I’ll put walking as the overall best exercise I know and it doesn’t require instructors or training, just a good pair of shoes.

Weight Training
Before you groan as I always did, we aren’t talking about strain and muscle bound body building here. Using light weights can build your bones as well or better than all that heavy lifting. Use 2 pound free weights and do a number of repetitions. If you want more of a workout, go slower. That’s right, the slower you go, it seems the better the weight training. And when you first start, think less is more. You likely will find the light weights easy and be tempted to do more. But the burn has a time lag and will be felt the next day or two rather than right away.

Supplements
Calcium alone is not sufficient for bone health. Vitamin D3 is also important. Since we all started using ginormous number SPF sunscreen, guess what has happened to most Americans as an unintended consequence? We are deficient in Vitamin D, an essential nutrient for making and keeping our bones. Yep, sunshine converts cholesterol in skin to Vitamin D. (Proves once and for all, moderation in all things is a good way to live.) Light skinned people may create enough Vitamin D with 30 minutes of sun exposure a day. Those with more melanin need longer. Or we need supplementation. How much supplementation? Depends. Have your Vitamin D level tested and work with your trusted health care practitioner/partner to determine what is best for you.

Diet
More fruits and vegetables, less meat in diet has been shown to aid bone health. Even more important might be weight loss. For some reason, weight loss is associated with a decrease in bone density. Yet some (read most) of us feel a need to diet thanks to the weight gain that accompanies the Big M. A good idea is to lose weight slowly and exercise as an integral part of any weight loss program you undertake.

Hormones
There is so much contradictory information about estrogen building bones, estrogen being unimportant in bone health, progesterone being the real bone health hormone, progesterone being unimportant and unnecessary. If they are indeed beneficial, there may be very real risks to HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy). Studies are being done, but the jury is still out.

It seems to make intuitive sense that bioidentical hormones might be less risky and more usable by the body. (Actually, it seems like a freaking no-brainer to me, which is why I use a very low dose Estradiol patch and use natural progesterone cream.) That’s natural progesterone cream, not wild yam cream. Wild yam cream is not in a usable form for our bodies. Check out emerita.com for Pro-Gest cream or prodnature.com for Natural Woman cream.

This is where you can work with your trusted healthcare advisor to find the best solution for yourself. If you are considering hormone replacement, have your hormones tested first to determine your baseline. Saliva testing worked much better for me than blood testing – perhaps both will give a fuller picture.

Stress Reduction
Last, and certainly NOT least, stress level has been shown to adversely affect bone health. While it may seem that the Big M is nothing but stress sometimes (gee, could that be the main mechanism for osteoporosis?), take care of yourself. Curl up with a good book, take a bubble bath, sit quietly under a tree. Don’t wait until everything is done (because hello, it never is done. Ever.) Don’t put it off and don’t put anything ahead of your "me" time. One of our Venuses calls it "exercising my me muscle". And if anyone asks you what you are doing? Tell them you are boning up on health and wellness. Don’t wait until you get your bone scan to start exercise and relaxation. Do it now. Goddesses’ orders.

http://www.womentowomen.com/bonehealth/bones-menopause.aspx

Among other things, I’m the Menopause Health Maven for a wonderful health website called Wellsphere. If you haven’t checked it out before, do so now – just click on my Wellsphere badge on the right hand side of this page. It’s sort of a cross between Web MD and Facebook – with experts and real people sharing advice, experiences, and health networks. As a Maven, I get a number of questions in the Menopause Community. Recently, I was asked about menopausal weight gain. Because this is such a universal and recurring problem, I’ll post my answer for all the menopause goddesses out there who are concerned about those extra curves and voluptuousness.

Weight gain post-menopause affects most women to varying degrees. I can tell you that our community of menopause goddesses has struggled with this symptom again and again. We lose, gain, and lose again.

Our metabolic rate has slowed to a crawl. You would think that this slowdown would be more than offset by calories burned through our hot flashes. Literally. And those goddesses who suffer 30 hot flashes per day should be wasting away, regardless of caloric intake. But in seeming defiance of all natural law, the scale tells us we are getting heavier. We look at our favorite fatty, sweet, carbo-loaded treats and we gain weight. We eat "healthy" food and we gain weight. We don’t change our eating habits at all and we gain weight. Some of us starve ourselves and we gain weight. We diet fiercely, trying to shed extra poundage. South Beach, Medifast, Ornish, Atkins. Jenny Craig, Nutrisystems., Weight Watchers. Among the Venuses, we have collectively tried ALL of these at one time or another with varying (read not permanent) success. And each year, it gets harder to fit into our skinny clothes.

The only diet that really works over time is simple: less calories in – more calories out. Eat less and exercise more. But weighing food and counting calories just causes us to obsess about food, to think about it all the time. Which makes us feel deprived and hungry. Theresa Venus and I finally hit upon the Girlfriend Guilt Diet. We eat normally except for one important difference. We eat half. We make or order food as usual, but only eat half of what’s on our plate.

We also drink our 8 glasses of water (64 oz) each day and we walk a minimum of 2 miles. And here’s the kicker: we have to report to each other at the end of each day via phone or email whether it was yes on food (only ate half), yes on exercise, and yes on water. For some reason, we just can’t stand to call one another and say that we failed. Sure, once in a while, one gets skipped, but its rare. I can bail on myself, but not on my girlfriend. We support each other in slowly losing weight. Losing it fast means it won’t stay off in many cases. We have found ourselves losing weight effortlessly, (or at least painlessly) and since we don’t obsess about food all the time, we don’t binge. The best tip we have is to find a girlfriend to work together on your health regimen (sounds so much better than diet!)

The other thing I want to mention is to find what your new optimal weight might be. I kept trying to reach my 30 year old weight – 125 lbs. And it just isn’t right for me anymore. 135 seems just right in terms of feeling strong and healthy. For more on this, check out my Jan. 22 blog entry A Nude Awakening For A Menopausal Goddess.

As for multivitamins? I’ve taken Centrum over 50 as well as One-A-Day Women’s. Noticed little difference, but I also take a calcium with Vit D supplement and extra Vitamin E.

One last consideration: be sure and have your thyroid checked (blood TSH level, not just T3, T4). So many women develop hypothyroidism with menopause and that can greatly contribute to weight gain. (I’ll be writing a detailed blog on this soon.)

Most of all we know how you feel – it’s like you aren’t YOU anymore. And in a sense, you aren’t. But I promise that it will get better.

A year or so ago, I blogged about Menopausal Goddesses freeing themselves from constrictive clothing. More recently, I raved about the wicking sleepwear for us "hotties" as a godsend for flashes and night sweats. As a bona fide comfort convert, I realize that I’ve become downright evangelistic about wearing clothes that work. And okay, a bit of a gadfly about those that don’t. We’re the baby boomers ( and more), there are a LOT of us. So why is it so hard to find clothes built for the mature, ripe and wonderful bodies we now inhabit? Here are a couple of brief rants I just need to vent.

Rant # 1
Bras are yucky. The material composition of the average brassiere is often the stuff of hot flash nightmares; synthetic, stretchy, heat-inducing, moisture retaining, constricting, and just plain UNCOMFORTABLE for a menopausal woman. I’ve found some cotton ones that are stiff or scratchy unless you launder them a kabillion times, whereupon they are good for about two wearings before they fall apart in the washing machine.

I like to wear the "bra shelf" camisoles or tank tops as an under layer whenever possible. But wearing a dress or skirt and blouse demands a bra. (Two reasons: propriety demands that nipples not show and some of us need a titch more support than we used to. Which leaves out the option of "NO BRA" – my personal favorite.) Theresa and I were bemoaning this problem one day as we adjusted and complained about our respective chestwear. And here’s what we decided we’d like to see, purchase, wear, and praise from the rooftops. Remember your first training bra? If you were anything like us, you wore a flattish, ultrasoft piece of cotton that stretched across your chest with a little rose or pink bow for decoration attached to the front center. (If you were one of those girls we envied because you had real breasts by bra-buying age, you skipped this stage and went right to the main event. However, I can tell you that you missed a wonderful piece of clothing.) At any rate, Theresa-Venus and I are on the hunt for a "training bra" for Menopausal women. She and I don’t need a lot of support so it can be designed just a little bigger than the ones we wore so many years ago. And if more support is needed, perhaps an underwire and a little larger sizing. We think we are really on to something here. We’ve not found one yet, so please if you come across something that might work, email us ASAP. And if you are a clothing designer, please get to work – this could make you a fortune. There are a great many of us and we are desperate for comfort. We give you our idea freely – we don’t want anything except to be able to BUY them!

Rant # 2
Pants that ride low on the hips, just above the butt crack (if you’re lucky), now what’s that about? What sadistic fashion designer came up with the idea that these would be either attractive or comfortable? We’ve been waiting for YEARS for this trend to reverse itself and for jeans, pants, slacks that actually button at the WAIST to come back… Hello, the narrow part of the body is at the WAIST, even for us menopausal goddesses who may have noticed a little expansion there. Hip huggers were a crappy idea in the 70’s and they are worse now. Even the sweet young things don’t look good in these pants, but if they want to wear them, that’s just great. Just please, offer some higher waisted pants for the rest of us.

I’m actually on an adventure trip right now (to the Galapagos Islands with three of the Venuses, woo hoo) and this blog entry is being posted by my wonderful webmaster. Why is this relevant? Because I went to buy those lightweight zip-off leg, quick dry pants that are so great. My old ones (where the pant waist came to my actual waistline) were too small; a consequence of menopausal weight shift. I ordered a couple pair online – they were so low that I believe you would have seen my crack! They were returned. (Also, when did everyone get so tall that my pants have a FOOT of drag fabric at the bottom?!)

I finally bought a couple pair on sale at REI that came up marginally higher. I look like I’m wearing my daughter’s pants – and I don’t look nearly as good in them as she would. Which brings me to my friend Saskia’s latest, greatest recommendation for all us menopausal women: "Not Your Daughter’s Jeans". Apparently, someone HAS taken pity on us and designed jeans to fit WOMEN. I believe they are available in many stores – I’ve yet to go looking for them as I’ve been too busy buying lightweight pants that don’t fit! But as soon as I get home, I’m going on a jean hunt. Let me know if you’ve had a chance to try these as well. Maybe we can get to the manufacturer and get them to design other styles……….. or even training bras.

"The Big M", the long awaited chronicle of the real-life adventures, musings, wit, and wisdom of the Venus group of Menopause Goddesses is available now. Check out our girlfriend’s special: buy one at regular price and get the second for HALF PRICE. Click here to buy or for free download of Chapter One The Big M

In Lake Tahoe, residents are mandated to implement what are called BMP’s – Best Management Practices. These practices are what each of us living in the Tahoe basin needs to do to improve and protect the health and clarity of the lake. We menopausal goddesses feel that our personal health and clarity deserve the same attention and with that in mind we shared our BMP’s for this time of life when we gathered together two weeks ago.

In no particular order or emphasis, we offer our Best Management Practices to our sister goddesses.

Happiness – it’s not as elusive as we’ve been led to believe. So many of the goddesses say that happiness IS truly attainable, once we become happy with ourselves. That doesn’t necessarily mean complacency – we are actively creating our lives. While doing so, we are taking time for appreciation and enjoyment of each moment. We’re finding that security is not just financial; but more a state of mind and being.

And speaking of appreciation, gratitude was a Best Practice for many of us – what one Venus refers to as the GRattitude. Turns out the more we PRACTICE or notice being grateful, the more there is to be grateful for. Gratitude is a choice, it seems and a self-perpetuating one at that.

TIME and how we allocate it was a major focus of our BMP’s. Prioritizing and planning ahead helped us be sure to set aside time for what we find most important. Four time compartments we feel are necessary to our lives at this juncture are:
1. Time For ME – time for pursuits, exploration, new ventures and old pleasures. Dancing, reading, vegging – you name it. We need it!

Time for friends: time for our women friends is especially critical for our well-being. Doesn’t matter what we do together: shop, eat, make art, or go off to a spa together. Or simply have coffee. This time fills us up and makes the journey so much richer.

Time for relationships: Time for intimate relationship may actually have to be scheduled and made inviolate. Conscious effort to connect is important when we are developing new interests that take us away from our loved ones, however supportive. (See blog entry of Oct. 24: Good Goddess, It Was A Celebration for more on this.)

Time Alone – Quiet time, time to meditate, silence. All of these are like food to us (and in case we haven’t mentioned it, we all like food.) Even 15 minutes can rejuvenate us – because we are still working on the most important of our relationships – that with ourselves. It helps us to slow down to check in with our feelings and desires, to know where next to proceed on this unmapped journey. We won’t "forget" to take alone time any longer. We can’t afford to.

Exercise and good health habits are important to us. As are wine and chocolate, which we consider to be good medicine. Stress reduction through alone time (see above) and exercise are paramount.

Courtney-Venus says one of her BMP’s is to motivate others and to be motivated by them. She offered us a view of mentoring as a reciprocal relationship – now there’s a Best Management Practice for you.

Other BMP’s? Play more, schedule joy, express ourselves creatively, and simplify our lives (a topic we’ll talk about in greater depth soon because it NEEDS a whole blog entry to itself.)

And we’d love to hear about your Best Management Practices, so please drop us an email or comment. The way we get through this transition is together – sharing our tears, laughter, and BMP’s.

For more BMP’s and insights, pick up a copy of "The Big M", the chronicle of the Venuses’ travels and travails, shared wit and wisdom – all the synergy of our successive meetings. Click here to purchase or to download the first chapter FREE: The Big M