Jimmy Buffett sings “I just want to live happily ever after…..every now and then.” And we can create time to be Queen for a day every now and then, if not everyday. As promised, I’m bringing us all some help in doing this.

One of our very own Venuses, Karen Leland, has just released a fabulous new book on Time Management. (Co-authored with her business partner Keith Bailey.) In a recent interview, I asked her for a few of her tips on Time Management for Menopause Goddesses.

How can the working Menopause Goddess keep her work-life balance?

“I think the key for working Menopause Goddesses is to discover what their deepest contribution and passion is and to integrate that into their lives. For some, they are lucky enough to have that be what they do for a living. For others, they need to make a concerted effort to carve out time to practice their passion.

I find, as do many of the working Menopause Goddesses I talk to, that we have to protect the time we spend on our heart’s greatest passion and not let the continuous demand of the daily to-do list keep us from expressing our greatest creativity or fulfillment.”

What are the biggest challenges the working Menopause Goddess faces in having a balanced life?

“One of the biggest challenges we working goddesses are facing – especially in this economy – is that many of us have to keep working to earn a living, Even when at this time in our lives some of us would rather pursue other, more creative outlets. I find that I don’t have the same drive I used to when I was in my 20′s and 30′s. My priorities have really changed, so creating a balanced life, means not sacrificing my true heart’s calling just to earn a living.

For many Menopause Goddesses this means adjusting their lifestyle so they can still work, but not so intensely.”

What five small things can a goddess do to increase her work-life balance?

“In doing the research for my latest book “Time Management In An Instant”, I spoke to a lot of psychologists and sociologists who were examining the nature of how we work today. A few things become abundantly clear including:

1. Each day, determine the 3 things you must do, 2 things you want to do and 1 thing that will relieve some pressure if you do it. By doing this, you avoid simply doing the stuff that is ‘crisis’ oriented.

2. Don’t do email or social media first thing in the morning. It’s a black hole that can suck you in for hours and hours. Do your exercise, meditation etc. to set yourself up for the day.

3. Use time planning to block off specific days and times in your calendar when you are going to work on your passions and most important commitments. Rather than leave them to chance, schedule them.

4. Make dates with girlfriends to go for a walk, for coffee, out to lunch, see a movie etc. If you make a date, you are less likely to break it and it forces you to get some time away from working or producing.

5. Limit your goals. It’s always tempting at the beginning of the year to sit down and come up with a laundry list of goals to achieve, in a wide variety of areas. But really, most people can only focus on at most 3 goals at a time. By limiting your goals and really focusing on the most important 2 or 3 the chances of them happening are greatly increased.”

How do you keep your sense of work-life balance?

“Well, for me things like art, being in nature and personal writing, are my lifelines. I need to be doing something artistic or I’m just not a happy person to be living with.

I’ve worked my schedule out so that I work longer days, 4 days a week, but can take Fridays off. This is prime time for me to go for a walk with a friend, do photography, paint, write a personal essay etc… It really helps me to stay in balance and get a perspective when I do this.”

Do you feel that the onset of Menopause affects work-life balance?

“For me it has greatly affected it. I am still ambitious, I still have goals, I still enjoy working, but something has changed. I really don’t want to work with the same level of intensity I used to. As one of my Menopause Goddess friends said ‘our bodies just are not supposed to work that hard at this time in our lives.’ I think that is true. I have a much greater interest in slowing down reflecting, taking time to enjoy life than I did.”

Buy a copy of Time Management In An Instant the week of July 20th and receive a free license to view the Essential Email online course. To buy the book and claim your bonus, or just to buy the book go to: http://www.quality-service.com/timemanagementinaninstant

Karen Leland and Keith Bailey are the bestselling authors of six books including Time Management In An Instant: 60 Ways to Make the Most of Your Day. They are the co-founders of Sterling Consulting Group, which helps organizations and individuals learn how to fight distraction and find their focus in a wired world. For more information please contact: kleland@scgtraining.com

I do know now what it is like to truly be "Queen For A Day". I went camping for a week in the High Sierra with my hubby Dewitt and dear friends, Don and Theresa Souers. On my birthday, we climbed up to this incredible lake.

Stunned into breathlessness by equal parts vista and oxygen molecule deprivation, I stood there just enjoying being Queen for the Day. I reveled in the best life has to offer: natural beauty, clear air, clean water (okay,we filtered it just in case, but you get the drift), good friends who know when to talk and when to be silent, and TIME.

Time. That glorious commodity that we were rich in as children. Days when we whined that there was nothing to do. And here we were revisiting such a day. A day without plans, agenda, or focus. It lasted soooooooooooo long. Hiking, photographing, junk food snacking, napping, reading, writing, more photographing, and spaghetti for dinner. Mmmmmmmm.

"What shall we do now?" we asked at intervals throughout the day. So many possibilities permeating that question. Such bounty and perfection. We sent ourselves outside to play, as if parenting ourselves.

Like kids, we barely combed our hair before throwing on mismatched clothes and jumping into playtime. We got scraped, muddy, and mosquito bit. We played in the water and sunned on the rocks. We lay down in a meadow, discovering shooting stars and Indian paintbrush as if for the first time.

We saw lynx tracks, marveled at the jewel toned flank of a golden trout, daydreamed as clouds drifted across a cerulean sky. This is what we most want: Time. Unstructured. Open. Free.

We’re all royalty when we take the time to look and enjoy our earthly "castles" – whether we are in the High Sierra, a local park or conservatory, or our own back yard. All we need is to STOP and enjoy. And if it is hard to find the time? If one actually feels they need to absent themselves as we just did to find that time? Well, on Wednesday (two days from now) one of our very own Venuses will share tips right here on Menopause Goddess Blog from her new book on time management. So we can all be "Queen For A Day."

I think I may have figured it out. The Pause might be a pause for reflection. We can’t remember anything, can’t function as we used to, are clueless and confused ourselves. We reevaluate everything. We pause to ask ourselves who we are. We look back to who we’ve been up until the Big M. We look ahead to the woman we might become.

We pause to ask what WE want, rather than what does our family, our work, our world want from us. We cease going on automatic and examine our life from the sides, the bottom, the soft juicy core.

The Big M ushers in a host of other m’s, not the least of which is mortality. A pretty big M in its own right, mortality reminds us that this ride is not forever, so we had better choose our manner of conveyance and pay attention to the journey.

We pause to ponder what we might be when we grow up. We pause to consider what we might wish to leave behind when we shuffle off this mortal slinky. Mostly, we pause to appreciate, to savor flowers and love and blue sky and books and girlfriends.

I recently discovered Vibrant Nation, a website for women over fifty, when they posted an article about my book "The Big M". I liked the site and its conversations. so I joined. When I filled out the personal info page with bio and the usual stats, I came to a box that asked me to send a postcard to my younger self.

I was delighted and intrigued. What would I say to her/me if I could? Besides love your body because it changes, don’t sweat the small stuff, clean less and play more, work and success are okay, but love and gratitude make for a meaningful life. Stuff like that.

In the end, I simply wrote this:

Dear Me,

It’s all worth it – it only gets better. I’ll be (am) glad when you are here.

All my best,

Me

What would YOU write to your younger self? Let me know and maybe we’ll be able to pass on our notes to our daughters and the young goddesses in training. Pause, reflect, and send that virtual postcard to the sweet, young you from the wiser, vibrant woman you’ve become. Let’s really put the PAUSE in menopause.

(photo for this posting by my handsome hubby, Dewitt Jones)

Okay, okay, I know that the goddesses and I chose this path – we wanted to make sure that no other women had to suffer the uncertainty and panic we went through. If nothing else, we wanted our sister goddesses to travel the journeys through menopause, and more important, the second half of life with one another. And we love this job. But there comes a time when a goddess has just got to take a break.

In that spirit, I am declaring a menopause break for the solstice. On June 21, I’m going to forget about hormones, creams, night sweats, mood swings, and brain fog. I’m going to spend the day being young!

Of course, my laugh lines won’t disappear. My age spots and wattle will still be there. My low-flying tatas will still struggle mightily with gravity (and lose) But just for the day, I’m not going to notice them. (Or care if anyone else does.)

I’m a big fan of the best of second childhood; things like openness and wonder, celebration and play, romps and naps. I’m going to start my second childhood on my Menopause Break Day in earnest by doing whatever frivolous things catch my fancy.

I might plunge into Photoshop and play with my photos. I might sit on the porch and read a novel. I might just zone out and watch the points of light on the water. I will most certainly eat chocolate!

Join me! Let’s play hooky from the Big M and celebrate thinking, feeling, and believing young. Pick a day, doesn’t have to be the solstice (because Father’s Day may not be the easiest day to take off). Who knows, our Menopause Break might become a habit. Second childhood is just around the corner, let’s start practicing now!

What’s even better than a bubble bath, however, is a bubble bath and a good book. And Goddess-in Training (meaning perimenopausal) Diane Mierzwik’s new book, Weekly Affirmations for Pre-Menopausal Women was the best part of my latest stratospheric bubble bath.

She writes with humor and grace about the changes that afflict us all as we age and travel down the pathway toward menopause and midlife. She chronicles 52 weeks, from New Year to New Year, where her wry and funny observations culminate in an affirmation for each week. Her quirky illustrations complement each entry.

These are not affirmations that place unreal expectations for sainthood upon us or make us feel guilty for being, well, us. Instead, she gives us focus points toward acceptance of where we are and small nudges to who we might wish to become.

Here’s an excerpt to tempt you:
"Week 13
They say the best, given enough time, will rise to the top. So, I’m not sure why cellulite has such a bad rap.

Twenty years ago, I had smooth supple skin. I had "fat in all the right places." But, did I enjoy it? No, I obsessed with the extra two inches around my waist, the dimples in my bicep areas, the baby roll on my tummy. What I wouldn’t give for that body today, except diet and exercise, you know, sacrifice. The memory of that body is like an egg ready to hatch or explode into an extra 30 pounds around my midriff.

I imagine twenty years from now I will look back on my middle aged body and wish my days away for it like I wish I hadn’t eaten that cookie, but it smelt and tasted so good at the time.

This week, as the weather warms and the malls hang swim suits in the windows, I will love and appreciate the body I have today, cellulite and all, so twenty years from now I will not kick myself for not appreciating the beauty I had when I had it."

This is a must read for any woman confronting the Changes. My only complaint? The other passengers turning to stare at me when I erupted into laughter as I read all 52 weeks in a single sitting. But hey, they didn’t know that they were joining me in m bubble bath, so they’re forgiven.

Buy the book at Amazon. For more humor and heart, visit Diane’s blog at weeklyaffirmations.com.

I had always thought of myself as a curious, interested, open kind of person. I liked learning – just about anything. Of course, that was when I had unlimited time left on this planet and seemingly unlimited energy to sample all its wares. The Big M brought those misconceptions to a screeching halt.

Like all the Venuses, I’m growing into the woman I want to be. And , alas, growing means having to learn new things. Because of finite time left, and less energy than in my youth, these new things must now pass the pros and cons of worthiness. Are they useful? HOW useful? Do they take up too much time for too little return? Are they fun? (Yep, fun has to figure in there somewhere. Living my second childhood demands a fun factor.) Do they offer anything of value to me? To others? Are they a distraction that gets me off track, off the Prime Directive of my life so to speak?

My Prime Directive is to boldly go where no menopausal goddess has gone before, in the company of other menopausal goddesses, sharing humor, heart, and help. Creating community and support for a transition that no one should travel alone.

With equal amounts terror and titillation, I ventured into the social networking world. (Thanks, Jonathan!) I was uncertain whether this would be helpful and useful to me and my sister goddesses or whether I’d be overwhelmed and lost. The first day was purely frightening as my inbox filled to bursting. "What have I done?" I thought bleakly. And then dear Sharon Venus inadvertantly came to my rescue with a short note declaring, "Seriously afraid of Facebook. Help." I laughed out loud at my own thoughts being voiced so perfectly. And then I knew how we’d get through it.

Together. That’s how we’ve handled the menopause transition. After the Big M, we ought to be able to handle a little hurdle like social networking. Sharon Venus and I talked on the phone, shared our fears and hopes, and made a plan to move ahead. (We also have become virtual office mates, since working at home means there’s no one in the next cubicle to help or push when needed. We’ve created virtual cubicles.)

This is how I’ve come to be all a Twitter, synced in on Linked in, and face forward on Facebook. I’ve seen the use in the social networking craze and how it can support the Prime Directive. I can now "tweet" a good link or quick tip for menopause goddesses from my freaking cell phone. I can join or create groups where menopause info can be shared, and hopefully share resources with more women. Sure the learning curve is steep at times, but I’m not afraid to "tweet" for help. Through cross-platform cross pollination, there’ll be more women sharing wisdom about Menopause.

Speaking of help, please fill out the quick survey I developed to get info on revamping this website. Click Here to take survey to help me make this site better.

You can follow me at Twitter Lynette’s Twitter
or join me at Lynette’s Facebook or
Lynette’s Linked In

Here’s an excerpt of what I wrote about this syndrome in "The Big M",

"Certainly, when we were in our twenties, even thirties, we craved stimulation. We sought promotions or new jobs to feed this desire. We learned new sports, made new friends, traveled for a change of scenery, and probably moved our home a number of times. But now, when Change is rocking our world with variety beyond our wildest nightmares, we just want SOMETHING to stay the same. Change is regarded with a stiffening of the spine, and a profound wariness. Even miniscule changes cause us to go on Red Alert. Lancome no longer makes our favorite shade of lipstick. But they have a whole host of new shades. Oh no. Now I have to pick a new one. Which probably will look fine in the store with the cosmetologist’s encouragement, but will put me in mind of Morticia Addams in the privacy of my own boudoir.

We are exhausted at the prospect of new ventures BEFORE we’ve made a single move toward them. We’ve had enough change. Shoot, we are "Change"! Excitement? Stimulation? Forget it. We are overstimulated, overamped, overcommited, overwhelmed, and overwrought. We are SO OVER IT!"

Thankfully, the worst days of The Big M are behind me now, with brief flareups here and there of the many manifestations of menopause. I’m on a more even keel these days, although I am still wary of change. And there are times when Change is necessary. Like right now. The Blogosphere has changed mightily in the last couple years since I started the Menopause Goddess Blog.

While I would love to keep the website as is and ruminate about these many changes (read procrastinate forever), it’s time to take the leap to revamp, revise, and generally make it better. That said, I’m asking, no make that BEGGING, for your help, goddesses. I’d like to know your preferences, what works, what doesn’t, what can be improved, etc..

To make it easy, I’ve created a little survey, mostly multiple choice questions. It shouldn’t take more than 10 minutes, max. Thank you all in advance! Click Here to take survey

And now, drum roll please, the winners of the Fertile Goddess contest.

First Place: Barb Sasaki

Second Place: Lynn Frank

Third Place: Anne Wheeler

So we don’t have to scroll through comments to find the winning writing, I’m publishing them in this post. More pearls can be found if you take the time to peruse the comments after the last two blog entries.

Barb Sasaki writes:

At age 48 I find myself wondering. Wondering if when I wake up sweating if it is just because winter is coming to an end or if it is my own body entering a new season. I know that my mind and body are both changing but I decided many years ago to celebrate the heck out of my birthdays because I had lost a dear friend at the young age of 32 to breast cancer.

As I age, one of the most wonderful things I am doing is to explore my passions. I have always been a passionate person, and I do not mean that to equate with sexuality. But true passion. I don’t want to know what someone does for their JOB….but what do they LOVE to do? It is usually a very different answer…and much more interesting.

So I have been getting to know myself and ignore those voices from my past that said my sister was the artistic one, and the voice of my ex that boomed that I would never make it without him. If , after 18 years, he had only known me…truly known me, (*sigh*) he would have known that those words would only make me determined to not only survive but to thrive!

Today my life is more exciting than I ever remember it being. I have started my own business and have amazed myself with how well it is doing in this economy. For the first time in my life, that I recall, I have started allowing myself to dream, and dream BIG. Some days I even dare to say my dreams out loud! (gasp!) I find my mind is a fertile ground for ideas and designs.

The goddess I could relate to most is Sri Lakshmi. She shows how beauty comes from within and how through diligence we can rise through the mud of adversity to flourish like the lotus. She is also the patroness of lofty goals which surprised me a bit because I thought that was my job! ha!

I also love the fact that she is the goddess of prosperity and wisdom because I believe that when you do find and follow your passion, and work really hard, the rest will work itself out. There I go dreaming out loud again!

Lynn Frank shared:

Yes. A Menopause Goddess can be and is fertile, because one cannot exist and without change and growth. And growth cannot happen without being "planted" in something that nourishes you in some way. While entering the peri-menopause phase of my life this winter, I learned that I was grounded and fertile in ways that I had not known and could not anticipate. Facing my fears about, what appeared to be, the death of my libido, the inability of my body to regulate its own temperature, my loss of control maintaining a weight I was comfortable with and the simple assurance that I could get through each day looking professional (not flustered and drenched), made me realize this.

At first I was frightened. What was happening to me? I had always eaten well, exercised, been careful about what I put in my body! Then I was angry. How dare my body do this to me! How could I possibly work any harder at taking care of it? Why is what I’m doing no longer enough?

Then I accepted. That is when I first felt the fertile ground beneath my feet. And that is when the new growth began. I grew in the knowledge of other wise women who had been there, each stepping forward to calm me with assurances that I would not have to follow my mother’s path to hormone replacement, breast cancer and disaster. Assurances, as one woman put it that: "I got through it. You will too." The quiet patience these women had with me, and themselves, spilled over to my soil and made it more fertile and able to nourish me then it had before.

I grew by celebrating what had been, accepting what is in this moment and realizing that this new phase signaled that something more was to come. The understanding that, what waits for me down the road is entirely up to me, was the largest part of this growth segment. Though I learned that I cannot always control all the small things in my life that I once thought were important, I was learning that there were other things that had more validity–that were more genuine–that I now valued and focused on. In these short months, peri-menopause has taught me that I am strong, capable of change, able to learn greatly from other women, have a depth of flexibility I didn’t realize and that my relationships with those I love, those I can help and things I enjoy are deeper because of the fertile ground I now find beneath my feet.

The results have been a deeper, closer relationship with the man I love, a supportive affection for my daughter who is leaving the nest (the panic of losing her is gone,) a renewed calling to reach out to others with volunteer projects I have enjoyed in the past and a new dedication to my personal goals and dreams.

After a 20-year break, I am once again a long-distance runner and preparing for my first 5k race: the Susan G. Komen "Race for the Cure" to be held on Mother’s Day. This new fertile ground has led me back to a sport that allows me solitude, reflection and the excitement of achieving a goal. So yes, I am believe that Menopause Goddesses can be the most fertile seeds in the earth. I intend to see just how tall I can grow.

Anne Wheeler wrote:

I related to Benzaiten immediately, bec/ I have always been a fierce protector. I am the eldest of 10 children and this has always been my role. I am also a nurturer and took the greatest pleasure in being a mother, but the dragon slayer comes first. I grew up in the desert and so always felt an affinity w/ water, and ached for the ocean through my first 18 years. I now live in a wonderful area, 15 mi from the sea. I’m not always eloquent, except when I write. I still nurture people as a nurse practitioner, and I’m trying to become more like Quan Yin and Lakshmi, and Yoga is my favorite spiritual practice. But I can’t change too much after 56 yrs. Thank you for helping me see myself as still fertile!!

Just because the contest is over doesn’t mean we don’t have more to share or ruminate on regarding our own fertility. I, for one, am going to keep this in the forefront of my mind and heart for those times when I feel non-creative, unmotivated, and "infertile". Thanks to all the goddesses who responded and all who supported them.

http://fertilegoddess.com/

Menopause Goddess Blog and Fertile Goddess (a yoga and active wear company) are bringing you a chance to answer that very question AND win some very cool stuff. Here’s the basic premise:
In nearly every culture of the world fertility means so much more than having children: abundance, wealth, new life and good fortune. Muse on how you are fertile now – then follow these 2 steps.

Step 1 – Visit www.fertilegoddess.com and choose the goddess that you most relate to at this time.

Step 2 – Come back to www.menopausegoddessblog.org and share with us how you are fertile now as well as your favorite goddess from fertile goddess.com. Just write it in the comments section.

Check out the cool prizes from Fertile Goddess that you can win:
1st prize: Flow pants
2nd prize: 3/4 Sleeve Tee ( choice of goddess)
3rd prize: Tote bag (choice of goddess)

You have until May 3 to share your thoughts. So put your wise woman hat on and your fingers on the keyboard. Women sharing wisdom – that’s how we ALL win.

By the way, you do not have to be perimenopausal or menopausal to enter – young goddesses in training are welcome to share their wisdom as well.
Read last week’s blog entry below for more details.

Fertile Goddess believes in the inspirational connection between real women and the bountiful power and wisdom of ancient fertility goddesses. In nearly every culture of the world fertility means so much more: abundance, wealth, new life and good fortune. Fertility is the vibrant rose garden you created, the circle of do-anything-for-you friends, and the act of nurturing your "babies" — whether they are children, pets or business ventures. With fertility, we are blessed with the endless capacity for patience, love and determination.

We celebrate women at the most fertile time in their lives: now! Tell us how you are a fertile goddess at this point in your life- then log onto www.fertilegoddess.com and tell us which goddess you most relate to for a chance to win one of three great prizes from Fertile Goddess:
1st prize: Flow pants
2nd prize: 3/4 Sleeve Tee ( choice ofgoddess)
3rd prize: Tote bag (choice ofgoddess)
Log onto www.fertilegoddess.com to see the prizes you could win!

As soon as I read the premise above, I was hooked. Actually, Fertile Goddess had me at "power and wisdom", a perfect description of Menopause Goddesses everywhere.

Submit your answer either in the comment section below or click the Contact Us button on the top right if you don’t wish to share your answer right away. It can be as long or short as you want.

Don’t forget to choose the goddess that you most relate to on www.fertilegoddess.com. The contest runs until May 3, so you’ve got two weeks to ponder your own fertility. I’m musing on the question myself (even though I’m ineligible to win a prize; the answers I discover will be prize enough. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.) We’ll post the answers of the winners – and don’t worry – we won’t share your name if you’re shy.

Okay goddesses, let’s see your fertile imaginations and thoughts! Women sharing wisdom – that’s how we all grow into the goddess we wish to become for the second half of life. Click the link below and get started.

http://www.fertilegoddess.com