Tag Archives | coping with menopause

Don’t Go Through Menopause Alone: Create Your Own Goddess Group

Hibiscus family © lynette sheppard

Hibiscus family © lynette sheppard

With all the wonderful remedies and helps we have found to help us on the Menopause journey, the singular most important one is girlfriends. A group of like-minded, like-afflicted women can share humor, heart, and help with one another. I can’t imagine dealing with the Big M without the goddesses.

On a whim, Theresa-Venus and I asked a group of women to attend a long weekend to discuss Menopause and ultimately the Second Act of our lives. It turned out to be one of the most important things we have ever done. Over 10 years later, and the Venuses still meet annually. We come from all over the country, so once a year is all we can manage with our busy lives. And we share and cover so much that it lasts us an entire year.

If you don’t have girlfriends who are going through the same changes as you are, we urge you to start your own Menopause Goddess Group. And so you don’t have to re-invent the wheel, here is how you do it!

In answer to those who have written wanting to know how to begin their own menopause goddess group, we offer this little nuts-and-bolts guide based on our experience with the Venuses.

Getting The Right Mix
Theresa-Venus and I started by asking one another “Are there any others out there like us, who are wondering just what the @#&* is going on with this crazy time of life?” We subsequently invited women we knew (in turn having them ask one or two of their friends) to join us for a weekend slumber party with a focus.

First, and foremost, we didn’t try to overcontrol the makeup of the group. Whether blessed or naive, we simply trusted that the right women would come together for our first gathering. Naturally, we did avoid asking women who routinely seem to suck the oxygen out of any room they occupy. Thankfully we know few of them. (Although it seems like everyone knows at least one!)

Begin Before The First Gathering
Again, looking back, we see how important it was to start working before we came together initially. We devised and sent out a questionnaire to all our potential attendees, as well as to some women who were interested in the questions for themselves once they heard about what we’d planned. (These women were satellite Venuses and contributed their thoughts and feelings in the spirit of helping us all.) The questionnaire was to be completed and returned prior to our first meeting. It was also meant to weed out anyone who wasn’t serious about working on these issues and questions together. Interestingly enough, no one opted out and most spent a great deal of time and soul searching in their answering.

Theresa-Venus and I also thought that our questionnaire might serve as a focusing tool and general icebreaker when we did come together. Little did we suspect that it would serve as much more. The process of looking at our attitudes and feelings, past and present, fostered a level of self-awareness that propelled Meeting One forward. Our questions and answers also helped inform our group as a whole. Personal information gleaned was as new to each individual goddess as it was to our sisters. Yet universal themes emerged and we knew we were on the right track. For a pdf copy of our questionnaire click the following link:  questionnaire_for_blog.  (Pdf files require Adobe Acrobat Reader. You can download Adobe Acrobat Reader for free – click here.)

Enough for today, goddesses. Stay tuned for part Two in the next blog post. If you have burning questions about starting your own Venus group, comment or write us by clicking on Contact Us on the left side of the homepage.

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Summer Style with My New Sunglasses

Lynette and sunglasses © dewitt jones

Lynette and sunglasses © dewitt jones

I’ve worn glasses since I was thirteen years old. Except for a spate of time when I wore contacts, I’ve worn them every day until now.

I love my progressive lens eyeglass prescription. No longer do I whip off my distance glasses and fumble for my reading glasses and vice versa. I can see far, middle, and close-up with no problems.

My only problem is the need for sunglasses. Oh sure, I have a pair of prescription ones for driving, but they are never with me when I need them (there’s that memory thing again.)

So, when Vibrant Nation contacted me to see if I’d like to try a pair of Solar Shield sunglasses by Dioptics, I jumped at the chance. (I am part of the Vibrant Nation Influencer Network: how cool is that?) They let me pick out a pair as a free sample to try .

What really sold me is that they have sunglasses that FIT OVER your prescription glasses. And they are – wait for it – stylish. I remember having a pair of fit-over sunglasses years ago that were huge, clunky, and downright ugly. Not these. I feel like I look good in them (and not just for my age.)

Dioptics also has clip-on versions (which I don’t really use, but some people like them better than the fit-over version.) The Solar Shield sunglasses are super easy to use, inexpensive, and there are loads of styles and sizes to choose from. They sell them at Walmart, Walgreen’s, CVS, and other big retailers. Even if you live on a tiny rural island like me, you can still get them by shopping online.

I have a pair that lives in my purse, I’m going to have to get a pair for my car. No more sighing and squinting because I forgot my prescription sunglasses (yet again!)

Ladies, if you are interested, check out their website: www.solarshield.com. Just because we are Menopause Goddesses doesn’t mean we can’t look cool and protect our eyes at the same time.

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Getting Attuned to Menopause Fashion

attune image the M word

I’m always looking for comfortable clothing that doesn’t look dowdy and grannyesque. I’ve found some great stuff at J. Jill and love Not Your Daughter’s Jeans. I doubt I could rest as well without my wicking sleepwear. I’m still looking for a bra that simulates the soft cotton of our training bras (with a lot more support, of course.) That may be an impossibility, but I can dream can’t I?

With Menopause fashion in mind, please enjoy our latest guest blog post reprinted from our fashionable friends at Attune. They specialize in a variety of clothing styles for the Menopause Goddess. Based in the UK, they will soon be offering international shipping. So visit their site and bookmark it for future visits.

The M Word (reprinted with permission)
I think it’s time, don’t you?

Time for us to stop dancing around the subject.  Time to stop using wonderful euphemisms about temperature control and getting ‘hot under the collar’.

We know that Attune clothes are great under any circumstances – I would have loved to have been wearing them when I worked in a new, classy, glass-fronted office. I was leaving a (very) cold house to commute to a city some distance away and then walk for a mile (which warmed me up considerably) to sit at my desk in an  air-conditioned office (think pleasantly chilled) only to have my temperature race when the sun – on one of its occasional outings – shone brightly on our floor-to-ceiling windows. Attune would have been perfect for such occasions.

But we have skirted around the most obvious advantage to wearing Attune clothes. When I have described the Attune collection to other women, they instantly know what I am talking about.  One colleague said “oh, I see, clothes for when you are ‘having a moment’”.  So I am outing us – these clothes are perfect for when you are a having a menopause moment. A hot flush. Or, as one US blogger has put it, when it’s all gone a bit peri como.

It’s not just time that we revealed our identity. It’s also time that you – as successful, busy women – have clothes that can help you keep on living those great lives. Clothes that will help you cool down quickly without feeling rebound chilliness, clothes that will dry quickly if you have experienced a hot flush, and clothes that stay fresh so that you don’t feel self-conscious. Clothes that actually do what we say they can do.

And the good news is that our range is expanding quickly. Keep an eye out for new products coming soon – dresses are next, but we won’t be stopping there. It’s all getting a little bit exciting.

Visit Attune here.

 

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Hot Flash Humor: A Male Perspective

Halema`uma`u Volcanic Vent

Halema`uma`u Volcanic Vent

I’ve been getting more and more mail from men who are accompanying their mates on the Menopause journey. The latest note from James Lawson cracked me up. He has graciously given me permission to post his blog entry about hot flashes from a man’s point of view. You can visit his blog here: Uniting People, through motivation, inspiration, and humor.

She Might Be Having A Hot Flash!

My wife has been having hot flashes for over 8 years now, and believe me we’ve had many laughs over the predicaments she’s been in.

There’s not much written about hot flashes from a male’s point of view so… Here’s a list of ten scenarios I’ve witnessed over the years. Chuckle and enjoy, then share yours!

1. At the grocery store, you see a woman with her head stuck in the freezer. You think she must be serious about reading the box’s ingredient list.

Or

She might be having a hot flash.

2. When you’re outside on a beautiful day, you notice a grandmother snatch a freeze pop from her grandchild. You assume she must be concerned about the amount of sugar that child has consumed.
Or
She might be having a hot flash.

3. At the gym, you look over to see a woman open up her water bottle full throttle and let the water pour out of the corners of her mouth. You figure she must have been doing an intense routine.
Or
She might be having a hot flash.

4. Your wife rushes in the door and strips off all her clothes. You think, “Hey, I’m going to get lucky!”
Or
She might be having a hot flash.

5. During an important office meeting, you notice a female drops her pen on the floor. As she darts under the table with a washcloth in her hand you think she must have a germ phobia.
Or
She might be having a hot flash.

6. You awaken in the night and catch your wife with her hand in a cooler of ice near her side of the bed. You think, “She must have buried a midnight snack beneath that ice.”
Or
She might be having a hot flash.

7. The woman driver ahead of you is swerving in and out of her lane while flailing her arms. You say, “I think that lady’s drunk!”
Or
She might be having a hot flash.

8. You’re driving along on a cold winter day. Your wife suddenly rolls down her window. You think, “There must be a spider in the car.”
Or
She might be having a hot flash.

9. In a hardware store, you see a woman testing out an industrial fan blowing on high, you think, “She must have water in her basement.”
Or
She might be having a hot flash.

10. Your wife has water glasses placed strategically throughout the house. You think, “She must be getting ready to water the plants.”
Or
She might be having a hot flash.

So men, never judge that menopausal woman you see who may be acting a bit strangely. She just might be having a hot flash.

James would love for you to share you favorite  hot flash moments on his Blog. He’s aiming for a list of 100!

 

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Holiday Deals for Menopause Goddesses (And Those Who Love Them)

Christmas in Paradise © lynette sheppard

Menopause Goddess Lana Abrams is offering a special 25% off holiday sale on her wonderful mulberry silk products for our readers. I have one of her light and warm comforters and I love it! Mulberry silk is the perfect temperature control fabric for menopausal women – it’s cool and warm – whatever you need when you need it. (Like the Stanley thermos that keeps hot things hot and cold things cold – how do it know?) Here’s your link to the holiday sale: Mulberry Silk Sale. Happy Shopping!

Hyalo GYN vaginal moisturizer was recently spotlighted on our blog. If you read that post, you know how highly I think of this. My hubby applauds it too. The Hyalo GYN folks are now offering a discount code for Menopause Goddess Blog readers: visit their site, enter HYALODeal5 at checkout on www.hyalogyn.com and receive $5 off a full order. Have a romantic holiday this year.

Cool-jams wicking sleepwear has a cool new product that I can’t wait to try:  wicking smart panties that are supposed to be the most comfy panties ever. They are also  offering free shipping through December 31, 2012 and a free gift with purchase when they gift wrap your order. Visit Cool-jams.com to order and/or  learn more.

So finish your shopping for girlfriends of a certain vintage with a few well placed mouse clicks, pour a glass of your favorite libation, curl up with a good book or movie, and toast yourself on a job well done.

 

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Om For The Holidays: Mindfulness, Menopause, and More


As the holiday season approaches, my shoulders climb up to my ears in anticipatory stress. This year, however, I broke out of my usual pattern. Dewitt and I signed up for a weeklong yoga retreat taught by the incomparable Donna Martin.

As the time of the seminar came nearer, we wondered if we really had time to indulge ourselves. It seemed like we just had too much to do.

Luckily, we’ve lived long enough to recognize this for the trap it is and we got as much done as we could prior to our first meeting.

Our week was full of reminders to be mindful, to savor the present moment, to nourish ourselves. And speaking of nourishment, Hui Hoolana retreat center fed us an amazing feast on Thanksgiving Day.

Gratitude fills me now and I am flowing into the holidays. Dewitt’s favorite mantra for himself “I have so little to do and so much time” actually seems liveable as an attitudinal change.

And if I get caught up in doing, hurrying, stressing? I’ll just remember to nourish myself be it with yoga, quiet time, taking a walk. Oh, and breathing. Lots and lots of breathing.

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Cool Christmas Gifts For Menopause Goddesses

Is It Christmas Yet? © lynette sheppard


Only 39 more shopping days until Christmas. With that in mind, here are some wonderful possibilities to consider when shopping for the Menopause Goddess in your life. Or as a gift for yourself, Santa won’t mind.

Hot Flash / Night Sweats Relief
Rejuvenair Fan

Dr. Lorrie Klein, a Menopause Goddess who has suffered her own nocturnal hot flashes created the RejuvenAir Fan specifically to provide relief from this sleep stealing symptom. The cooling fan is designed with timed intervals of 2.5, 5 or 10 minutes, which coincide with the usual durations of these episodes.

Highlighted on the Dr. Oz show, this great remedy is user friendly, effective, and free of side effects. I don’t have as many hot flashes as I used to, however, whenever I make my semiannual migration back to Hawaii from the cool alpine air of Tahoe, I am revisited by those annoying bursts of heat. And most of them happen at night!

I was sent a RejuvenAir fan to try and I’ve got to say that it worked like a charm, making my transition to the tropics sooooooo much easier. And the 39.99 price tag is very affordable. (heck I’ve paid more than that for a plain fan.)

Listen to Dr. Klein describe the fan in her own words.

For more info and/or ordering, visit the website at Rejuvenairfan.com.

Cool Clothing

Dry Babe
Menopause Goddess Wendy Collett created her own line of sleepwear to address the problem of drenched nighties and bedclothes. I’ll let her describe her product in her own words:

“I developed Dry Babe out of desperation for a good night’s sleep.  I started having night sweats the minute I turned 40 – I am now 45. I researched night sweats and found out that I most likely had a long future ahead of me in the “moisture” department (10 years or more!) and that was a very scary thought.

Not finding any relief from the clothing, lotions, supplements, etc. already on the marketplace, I dived in and started testing fabric to find one that worked. Once I found the solution, I could not keep it to myself, so despite no previous intention to become an entrepreneur, that is exactly what I did. (After a long corporate career, I had just completed a Master’s Degree in Counseling and was in the process of transitioning to working with kids).

In Dry Babe’s first year, which we just celebrated on July 16, we have made strong inroads within the market.  Our customers (and physicians) love us and sing our praises. We were featured this year in www.thehuffingtonpost.com, www.oprah.com,  and www.vibrantnation.com,  to name just some of our press.  The reason for that is that Dry Babe actually works and is point for point different from its competitors:

- 1. Our garments are made of mostly absorbent cotton – with a little poly for stretch a lightness.  All other night sweat sleepwear are all or mostly poly.

- 2. Our garments use “absorbing technology” as opposed to “wicking technology” due to the fact that we have found that air circulation is required for wicking to work well – which is why it it used so often in athletic wear. (I don’t have much air circulation under my covers as I am sure most people don’t :) .

  – 3. Our garments can be easily washed/dried with your regular laundry. All other night sweat sleepwear loses its wicking ability when any bit of fabric softener/dryer sheets are used or if the dryer is too hot.

- 4. Our garments are styled for real women in missy and plus sizes in styles that are fun and a little bit flirty.  My experience with other brands is that they are styled for great grandmothers.

5. Our price points are quite reasonable while all others tend to be quite pricey.”

I haven’t ordered my pj’s yet, but I will. They are really attractive and not grandmotherly as Wendy points out. As most of you know, I am a cooling sleepwear junkie of sorts. Visit the Dry Babe website at drybabe.com

Speaking of which, another company, New Zealand Nature offers a cool alternative to wicking sleepwear made from – wait for it – Bamboo!

That’s right – bamboo. Apparently, this natural fabric is cooling and a godsend for those of us who suffer night sweats or nocturnal hot flashes. I haven’t ordered mine yet, but they look stylish too. Merry Christmas to me, merry Christmas to me.

Here’s a testimonial from a Menopause Goddess in Australia. Women sharing wisdom – that’s the way we find out what works.

“I’ve had a couple of pairs of your bamboo pajamas for a month now and I am happy to say I’ve had the best month of sleep than I have had in a year. Menopause is kicking in with a vengance, which is for me night sweats waking me up to 3 times a night. I looked into all sorts of ideas, drinking ice water before bed, cooling the rooms (in winter no less) sleeping without covers but nothing worked – I have to be warm to get to sleep but was always waking. 

I looked into sports fabrics but they’re too expensive and pajamas marketed for menopausal women are upwards of $100 and I just couldn’t justify the cost on a “I hope it works” Then I heard about bamboo and found your store as I was looking for pajamas I could afford.

Thank you, thank you, thank you! I’m sleeping well again, not snapping at everybody, not exhausted. You guys have saved lives – well almost ;) Can’t imagine life without you NZ Nature, or your bamboo pj’s!”

Even though they are based in New Zealand, they are a world internet store so you can order over the web or scroll down to the bottom of the web page for the toll free number to call in your country.
And speaking of web page, here’s the link to New Zealand Nature. And if anyone gets their pj’s before I do, let us know what you think!

Vaginal Moisture Gel
Hyalo GYN

Dryness effects EVERYTHING during and after Menopause. Dry skin, dry hair, dry eyes, and even dryness in the vaginal area afflict us. I can’t tell you how many Menopause Goddesses have complained to me privately of symptoms associated with vaginal dryness: pain during sex, vaginal infections, itching and irritation. Since I got off my HRT, I’ve had my own problems with this annoying malady. How to get the moisture back?

Hyalo GYN is a hormone free gel that contains a long lasting derivative of hyaluronic acid which helps create the moist environment of our pre-menopausal vagina. Because it lasts so long, it only needs to be reapplied every 3 days.

It’s definitely made a difference to me. I prefer to apply it at night so that I don’t lose any of the gel to gravity. Probably the only instance of gravity being my friend.

Visit their website and get a free trial: hyalogyn.com

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Cool Off With Menopause Aid: The Hot Flash Pillow

Snowy Bells © lynette sheppard

Whew. I just “finished” my semi-annual migration from Tahoe to Hawaii. When I left Tahoe it was a chilly 32 degrees – ideal for a Menopause Goddess. Now I’m back in the land of eternal summer and while I am not flashing, I am generally pretty freaking hot.

Thanks to my new friend, Nancy Peardon, I’m acclimating nicely. Nancy sent me her wonderful creation, the Hot Flash Pillow.

You just throw it in the freezer, take it out a little later, place it around your neck, and Ahhhhhhhh. Blissful comfort. I am not longer thermically challenged.

I remember Menopause Goddess friends of mine who used bags of frozen peas and frozen chicken breasts to cool down. True stories. The Hot Flash Pillow not only lasts longer, it’s pretty. And you don’t have to cook it or refreeze it later. I know, you wonder why someone didn’t create it sooner. Doesn’t matter, it’s here now.

So say good-bye to night sweat discomfort, overheated insomnia, and hot flash hell. And congratulate yourself on choosing a remedy that delivers relief with no side effects. Check it out on the Hot Flash Pillow website.

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Oh Libido, Where Art Thou?

Redwall Cavern and Dories © lynette sheppard


Hi there Goddesses. I just got back from a long, glorious trip down the Colorado River through the Grand Canyon. And yes, there were a number of menopausal goddesses on the trip. You can imagine that the conversation turned to the Big M, now and again. We all fared wonderfully on our trip with Grand Canyon Dories. A big shout out to my webmaster, Bill, who posted the blogs in my absence, and graced us with his photos.

Upon returning home, I jumped right into our annual Menopause Goddess gathering – and we all agree that it was the best one yet. I’ll be debriefing in further blog posts – just have to digest it all. One of our perennial topics is libido or the lack thereof. Many of us who see the worst of menopause in our rear view mirror find that our libido returned. Somewhat. I have to say that unbridled lust seems to be a thing of the past. If Brad Pitt showed up naked at the front door, well, I’d definitely take pix, but otherwise? Too much trouble. Just sayin’…

Naturally, we want to be intimate with our spouses or significant others. That’s part of a life we’ve built together. Still, we may long (together) for the days when libido ruled.

That’s why I just LOVE Celia Ramsay’s music video “Lament”. Check it out:

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Menopause Mailbag: Hot Flashes, Anxiety, Insomnia, and More

High Country Reflection © lynette sheppard

This month’s menopause mailbag deals with hot flashes, anxiety, insomnia, and so much more. Please take a moment to offer your advice and support in the comments section for our menopause goddess sisters.

Menopause Goddess sister L. writes from the U.K.:

Hot Flashes
Okay here’s a strange one and I’d love to know if anyone else has had this happen. A couple of weeks before my birthday this year, the hot flashes started and they were intense. Every couple of hours, every time I drank coffee, 4.00 am every night. So I stopped the coffee, started wearing layers and slept with just a sheet to stay cool.

Here we are almost 2 months later and they’ve all but stopped. One or two a week, nothing at night now. Still not drinking coffee though. I’d been told they’d go on for years … can they start and stop like this? Anyone else had this happen?

OK ladies, any suggestions? Have you all had this happen to you?

MPG: I, Lynette, got hot flashes from drinking hot beverages – cold coffee was not a problem. And even that got better.

And R. shares her hot flash remedy / discovery:

Just a heads up: I quit eating all sugar (including fruit juice and fruit) and ALL hot flashes stopped.
If I really want sugar (read fruit or chocolate) , I eat a bunch of vegetables before hand and they slow down the ingestion of sugar so I still don’t get hot flashes. Pass it on, it may help others!

MPG: Thanks, R. Definitely worth a try. And remember, goddesses, to keep a hot flash journal with what you did immediately before to find out what your own specific hot flash triggers are. Every women is unique.

M. writes requesting help:

I am soon to be 48 and 12 months into hormone hell, as I affectionately call it. I have considered myself to be strong, fun loving and positive. My perimenopause bomb hit from out of nowhere. mainly insomnia and anxiety. Totally foreign! I am on my second ND, started bioidentical progesterone 2 months ago. reasearch and ttes/labs assured me this is perimenopause. What is most difficult are the periods of insomnia and anxiety. I Would love to share with other women, help getting through these normal, common, horrible symptoms!

MPG: Readers, please help. And M., you might want to set up your own goddess group. It literally saved all of us Venuses. Click on the links below for the How To Guide blog entries.

Creating A Menopause Goddess Group: A How To Guide Pt. I

Creating A Menopause  Goddess Group: A How To Guide Pt. II

And S. writes to share her hair loss experience (which is way more common than we are ever led to believe!):

You are the answer to my prayers. My hair started falling out and I have noticeable scalp showing through. I believe it is from the HRT. I wasn’t sure how to stop, but after finding you, I have decided to cut pill in half and gradually stop taking bio-identical hormones. I have minimal wrinkles and I am concerned that skin will suffer…..bald or wrinkled….what a choice!

MPG: LOL, what a choice indeed. I remember wanting to take out stock in a hat company so at least I could cover my head. Sheesh, it’s a good thing we don’t lose our sense of humor!

Hot Flash Prevention – Avoiding the ?Triggers? | Menopause Goddess Blog dot com

All I Know About Stopping HRT So Far | Menopause Goddess Blog dot com

Holla for replacing Hormones | Kerri Zane

(Insert Pathetic Sigh Here)

Choose The Right Menopause Remedy Part II | Menopause Goddess Blog dot com

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