Tag Archives | women

Being a Post-Menopausal Goddess Doesn’t Save You from Heart Disease or Diabetes

By on February 6, 2013 in After the Pause

coffee with heart

This week’s guest post is by Katie Brind’Amour, one of my favorite health writers. In it she offers information and helpful hints for preventing and/or dealing with heart disease and Type II diabetes. I know I get sloppy about my diet, especially when traveling, so I appreciate the reminders. Thanks, Katie!

Being a Post-Menopausal Goddess Doesn’t Save You from Heart Disease or Diabetes

Unfortunately, the hard-won pluses of being past Hollywood’s definition of “prime” do not equal a free pass for taking care of your health. Older women have a double whammy ready to work against them: a high risk of developing diabetes and an all-around increased risk of cardiovascular disease.

Cardiovascular events, like heart attacks and strokes, are the number one killer in the elderly. Worse still, women with Type 2 diabetes have the same risk of dying of a cardiac event as do women without diabetes who have a history of cardiovascular disease. That means that diabetes makes you just as likely to die of cardiovascular problems as women who already have heart disease.

As if aging weren’t tough enough on its own, Mother Nature has to make it darn clear to older ladies that they are no exception to the general rule of increased risks for diabetics. The recent study on over 9,200 women found that the relationship between heart disease and diabetes mirrored the rest of the population’s: one disease is bad enough on its own, but diabetes is like having (at least) two in one.

What is a Lady to Do?

Although the latest health news is dim, there is a silver lining: both cardiovascular disease and Type 2 diabetes are often preventable. This means that, with time and effort, you can drastically reduce your chances of succumbing to heart disease and diabetes (and all of their nasty, deadly side effects).

There are two key ways to prevent these conditions that everyone knows but no one likes to hear. A healthy diet and regular exercise are absolutely the best ways to avoid these diagnoses. Maintaining a healthy weight (particularly avoiding extra pounds around the waist) can significantly cut your risk of each illness.

 If you are already living with diabetes or heart disease, there are also a few steps you can take to reduce your future risk of a cardiac event, complications, or death. Take these simple, natural solutions to heart, and commit to a healthier lifestyle to truly make a difference in your future.

Natural Ways to Avoid Heart Disease

In addition to eating a healthy, balanced diet (aim for half veggies, one quarter lean protein, and one quarter whole grains at each meal), exercise is essential. Aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate exercise (like brisk walking, swimming, water aerobics, tennis, cross-country skiing, ballroom dancing, or biking) at least five days each week. Gardening and walking the dog count, too, and if you love to dance while you wash dishes or vacuum, keep up the good work!

If you are diabetic or if you are currently inactive, talk with your healthcare provider before beginning a new exercise routine. Build up to a regular and more vigorous regimen gradually, even if you have to start with just a few minutes of walking each day.

Next, tackle the other parts of your life that can best reduce your risk of heart disease.

Drop the tobacco habit. Smoking does serious damage to blood vessels and the heart. Kicking the addiction can add years to your life—even if you aren’t already diabetic. Check out free online “quit smoking” chat rooms or ask about health benefits from your employer or health program to get a little help.

Eat heart-healthy foods. Even if you are already eating a healthy diet, try incorporating additional heart-healthy foods into your weekly menu. These include foods with healthy fats, like fish and nuts. You should cut down on red meats and processed foods, then up your intake of beans, vegetables, and whole grains. Yum.

Get your waist below 35 inches. Extra weight around the middle is a major risk factor for both diabetes and heart disease. Even losing about 5–10% of your body weight can help slash your risk of these diseases if you are currently overweight or obese. Hence the recommendation above for regular exercise (there’s no getting away from that one, ladies!).

Take advantage of health screenings. Getting your annual check-up and screenings as recommended can literally save your life. An early indication of cardiovascular disease—like high blood pressure or blood cholesterol levels—can be the early warning you need to seek more aggressive treatments. Keeping blood glucose levels in the recommended range will also ensure that your body functions as normally and as healthily as possible.

No matter your inherited risk and current trajectory, you can make a difference in your future risk. Diabetes and heart disease are life-changing (and sometimes life-ending). Make sure that you are doing all you can to live a healthier, happier, longer life. You can do it!

 

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Aging Or Transforming: Which Are We Doing?

By on January 19, 2012 in Aging Gracefully, Life Changes & Stages

Flower Spiral © lynette sheppard

Aging is weird sometimes. It takes a bit of getting used to. Like when you suddenly become invisible in shops or restaurants while waiters pant over younger patrons. Or as Whoopi Goldberg noticed, “when you are never again going to be the hottest thing in the room”. Except thermally speaking. And those days when you pass a mirror or window and wonder who is that middle aged woman looking back before recognizing yourself.

And yet. And yet, there is so much that is wondrous and illuminating about the aging journey. Twenty some odd years ago, when aging was just an abstraction in my world, I chanced to see aging in a new and lovely way. Dear friend Bronwyn Cooke took her husband Rik’s slides of old cars and with musician Ron Lloyd created this poignant look at the beauty of aging, at metamorphosis. Thanks to YouTube, I can now share it with all of you. Enjoy.

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2012: I Have My Dancing Orders

By on January 8, 2012 in Life Changes & Stages

2012 is off to a great start and I have given myself my dancing (not marching) orders for the year vis a vis the thought-provoking questions from Robin Mascari posted in the last blog entry.

My poet-friend Kat posted not only the questions for year end and beginning, but her answers. (Check out her blog: Poetikat’s Invisible Keepsakes.)  It was so enlightening to read them, like one of those emails that ask you to relay 4 things you like to eat, 4 places you’ve lived, etc. to friends, but way more juicy. I feel like I learned some new aspects of Kat – and so decided to share my own answers. Send some of your thoughts along if you get the chance, so our virtual community can get the chance to know you better.

COMPLETING AND REMEMBERING 2011
What was your biggest triumph in 2011?  iPhone photos in Aurora stock agency.
What was the smartest decision you made in 2011?
Release the big M as an ebook.
What one word best sums up and describes your 2011 experience? Re-Vision
What was the greatest lesson you learned in 2011?  Being skinny is not the same as being healthy.
What was the most loving service you performed in 2011? Being there for my friend and just listening thru many tearful phone calls.
What is your biggest piece of unfinished business in 2011?
Organizing my photos
What are you most happy about completing in 2011?
hmmmmm everything seems like a work in progress – oh painting inside of house white.
Who were the three people that had the greatest impact on your life in 2011?
Lauri Gwilt, dewitt,  the whole iphoneography group.
What was the biggest risk you took in 2011?
the HCG diet
What was the biggest surprise in 2011?
2 surprises: Lauri and the Palouse in Washington state
What important relationship improved the most in 2011?
not sure – my close relationships are nourishing and loving, not sure they “improve”
What compliment would you liked to have received in 2011?
my, you look so young (ha ha)
What compliment would you liked to have given in 2011?
I hope I gave them and held nothing back (see last year’s intentions)
What else do you need to do or say to be complete with 2011?
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. ok, I’m pau (done).

CREATING 2012
What would you like to be your greatest triumph in 2012?
i honestly don’t know……. maybe remodel the kitchen.
What advice would you like to give yourself in 2012?
be present in the moment.
What is the major effort you are planning to improve your financial results in 2012?
Learning  Quicken. at last. And maybe online banking.
What would you be most happy about completing in 2012?
writing projects
What major indulgence are you willing to experience in 2012?
going to Venice
What would you like to change about yourself in 2012?
becoming vibrantly healthy (and thinner only if that goes with it – otherwise fit and fat.)
What are you looking forward to learning in 2012?
French – just enough to get by this summer.
What do you think will be your greatest risk in 2012?
opening my heart more
What about your work are you most committed to changing and improving in 2012?
organizing my photos, celebratory and nature writing
What is one as yet undeveloped talent you are willing to explore in 2012?
music
What brings you the most joy and how are you going to do or have more of that in 2012?
photography with Dewitt, hanging out with spouse and girlfriends, reading. Just gonna do it!
Who or what, other than yourself, are you most committed to loving and serving in 2012?
Dewitt
What one word would you like to have as your theme in 2012?
JOY!

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Remembering 2011 and Creating 2012: A Menopause Goddess Guide

By on December 29, 2011 in Life Changes & Stages

A New Dawn © lynette sheppard

It’s that time again – time to peek back at the year coming to a close and to look ahead to creating a brand new year.

I used to forget to look back at how much I had accomplished, enjoyed, and lived each year. I was much too focused on what lay ahead and how I might want to improve myself. You know: more exercise, better health habits, being more organized, blah blah blah.

About ten years ago, I started making “Done Lists” at the end of each year, in order to not only celebrate what I’d lived, but to freaking REMEMBER it! With the advent of menopause, remembering became a lost art, that needed a little nudge (I used my calendar to make notes all year and that helped me re-view what happened.)

After celebrating the passing year, it’s natural to then look ahead to the coming one. Every New Year’s eve, I have this delicious feeling of a clean slate with all possibilities open. Most of us goddesses don’t make New Year’s resolutions anymore. We know that particular activity to be a slippery, guilt-iced slope that will only irritate us in the long run. But we do create “intentions” or “wishes”. Sometimes, especially with menopause brain, it’s hard to get started or to focus on what we want to manifest next.

Friend and sister goddess, Robin Blanc Mascari shared with us two sets of simple yet profound questions. One set is designed to help guide us through re-viewing 2011 and the other is geared to helping us envision our own 2012. Enjoy them – I really did. Answer them all or just pick a couple that feel relevant. Perhaps you’ll think of other questions that we might ask ourselves – let us know your thoughts in the comments.

COMPLETING AND REMEMBERING 2011

What was your biggest triumph in 2011?

What was the smartest decision you made in 2011?

What one word best sums up and describes your 2011 experience?

What was the greatest lesson you learned in 2011?

What was the most loving service you performed in 2011?

What is your biggest piece of unfinished business in 2011?

What are you most happy about completing in 2011?

Who were the three people that had the greatest impact on your life in 2011?

What was the biggest risk you took in 2011?

What was the biggest surprise in 2011?

What important relationship improved the most in 2011?

What compliment would you liked to have received in 2011?

What compliment would you liked to have given in 2011?

What else do you need to do or say to be complete with 2011?

CREATING 2012

What would you like to be your greatest triumph in 2012?

What advice would you like to give yourself in 2012?

What is the major effort you are planning to improve your financial results in 2012?

What would you be most happy about completing in 2012?

What major indulgence are you willing to experience in 2012?

What would you like to change about yourself in 2012?

What are you looking forward to learning in 2012?

What do you think will be your greatest risk in 2012?

What about your work are you most committed to changing and improving in 2012?

What is one as yet undeveloped talent you are willing to explore in 2012?

What brings you the most joy and how are you going to do or have more of that in 2012?

Who or what, other than yourself, are you most committed to loving and serving in 2012?

What one word would you like to have as your theme in 2012?

Happy New Year to all menopausal and midlife goddesses! Here’s hoping that 2012 brings you peace, joy, and cooling breezes!

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Women Changing The World – One Dinner at a Time

By on November 16, 2011 in Positive Changes, Who We're Becoming

That is the tagline for one of the most inspiring women to women endeavors I’ve ever seen. And we will tell you all about it.

Flash back to September and our annual Menopause Goddess gathering this year. We talked once again about legacy and contribution. MIdlife has made us all too aware that our time on this planet is limited. We wondered how we share might some of the blessings in our lives, whether it be through mentoring, volunteering, public service, or donations.

Then Cyn Venus told us about a project that she has been involved in for the past year called “Dining For Women”. This nonprofit organization was begun in 2003 by Marsha Wallace. The premise is simple: a group of women meet for a potluck dinner and donate the money they would have spent going out to eat to a cause benefiting women.

On their site, diningforwomen.org, they further describe their mission and vision:

“Dining for Women from the beginning has focused on improving the lives of women and girls worldwide, who often live on less than $1 a day. By focusing on women and girls, DFW empowers women to find solutions to the problems they face through education, healthcare, and economic development.”

“Our Mission
Dining for Women’s mission is to empower women and girls living in extreme poverty by funding programs that foster good health, education, and economic self‐sufficiency and to cultivate educational giving circles that inspire individuals to make a positive difference through the power of collective giving.

Our Vision
Our vision is to create a new paradigm for giving – collective giving on an immense scale while maintaining the intimacy of small groups with a focus on education and engaged giving.”

Dining For Women involves us in two of our favorite things: girlfriends and giving back. Okay, three if you count eating. And I do. I was sold on the idea from the minute Cyn described the concept. And then she shared the following video of the cause of the month for September, 2011: the Fistula Foundation in Ethiopia.  Warning: grab your Kleenex before you watch.

Want to know more about fistula incidence and options for women in Ethiopia? Read the novel “Cutting For Stone” by Abraham Verghese, a stunning story written by a physician that will break your heart wide open.

So: Dining For Women. $10 here. $15 there. Resulting in 1.2 million dollars raised over the eight years it has been in existence. Where else can we get so much return for our money? As for me, I’d much rather have a potluck with gal pals than go out to a restaurant where I have to dress up and be on my best behavior.

The website shows all the ways we can help whether we organize a potluck group that meets once per month or just shop in their Marketplace to support Dining For Women. Let’s see how many chapters we can create in the new year (not wanting to stress anybody out over the holidays. Although it may be a stress reducer to meet with girlfriends and commiserate/celebrate/what have you.)  And hey, what a great New Year’s resolution.

Women helping women. To quote my handsome spouse, Dewitt, “I can’t wait until women run the world.” Yep, me neither. But we’re getting there by doing what we do best. And after all, we are more than half the citizens on this little blue marble. Just sayin’… Dinner anyone?

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5 Things I Freaking Love About Aging

By on June 26, 2011 in Aging Gracefully, Life Changes & Stages

Cloud Dreamin' © Dewitt Jones

Last week,  I talked about 5 things I hate about aging.  As promised, here’s the other side of that currency.

#1.  I don’t fret about how I look.
Let’s face it – at some point, all the fixin’ up in the world still yields decreased dividends. Like my own personal Wall Street.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m not letting myself go. I don’t wish my personal stock market to do a Lehman Brothers faceplant. I believe in some minimal maintenance.  (okay not thirty something-type minimal. Minimal when you are in your fifties would be maximal at an earlier time of life.)

Still, it’s a great relief to realize that this is as good as it gets, appearance wise. So after that necessary minimal maintenance I’m not letting myself go; just allowing myself to be. And breathing, lots of breathing.

#2.  I don’t try to please everyone.
Or sometimes anyone. I do try to please me. I used to be last on my list. These days, I usually am in the top three. Sometimes, I’m even at numero uno. Yep, definitely making progress.

And here’s a major benefit to all who have to deal with me: when I please my self, I’m actually more pleasing to be around. Well, duh!!! Hey all you daughters and goddesses-in-training out there, take note. Do not wait until you are my age to learn this. It’s so freaking obvious, at least from my present vantage point.

#3.  I’m comfortable in my baggy dry skin.
Oh yeah, I have to admit that it’s a little alarming when I inadvertently photograph my neck wattle while fooling with my iPhone camera. But hey, that’s why the little trash can icon was created. And I make quick use of it in those unfortunate circumstances. (I guarantee you that you’ll NEVER see one of those photos on iPhone Diva…or anywhere else.  Just sayin’…)

Besides, there’s moisturizers, lotions, emollients, sunscreens, and wrinkle creams galore spread out before me like a giant oil-rich smorgasbord at just about every retail facility I frequent.  So no problem. I may not look great, but I won’t desiccate completely.

The point is that I love being a middle aged Menopause Goddess. I never felt so comfortable being, well..me.. at any other age. (When in my twenties, thirties, and even early forties by the way, I was perfect on the outside and just didn’t know it. Daughters and goddesses-in-training, take another note. You are perfect, you are gorgeous, don’t waste this time worrying about how you look!)

And now that I’m less concerned about how I look or appear externally, I place much more attention on who I am becoming internally. And I gotta say that I’m beginning to like her, the fifty-something version of Lynette. Still a work in progress but we’re definitely onto something here.

#4.  I waste time without feeling guilty
Actually, I don’t consider unstructured time “wasted” time anymore. Time spent contemplating, daydreaming, reading (I do lots of reading which I can justify as being absolutely necessary for any writer, but I love it too much to consider it prep or work of any kind.), wandering through the woods or up the road, staring out the windows at clouds, birds, sky, nothing; – all of these are beginning to seem like the absolute best use of time imaginable. And the loss of the guilt? I’m not accomplishing or getting things done or fill-in-the-blank here. So what? This is how this menopausal woman is working toward Goddess. I DO enough – time to BE as well.

#5.  I try new things without fear of failure.
Here’s the great and glorious truth that I have learned. The failure police won’t come after me if I mess up. So what’s holding me back? Nothing. I don’t mind looking foolish (see #1 again.)

So I’m happy to jump in to new pursuits with both feet (carefully if it is truly physical – I don’t want to break.) Otherwise the sky is the limit – new photo technology, new art forms, dance, learning a language, and more.

So I suck. So what? I’ll get better eventually. The important things are that I’m branching out and experimenting, doing things I never thought I’d try, exercising my mind and stimulating my creative juices. And I am having a buttload of fun.

So yes, I love these five things about aging. I’m sure there will be more to love in the coming years. How about you all, goddesses? What do you like about growing older? Let us know right here in the comments. For now, I’m off to do finish reading Steven Tyler’s autobiography “Does The Noise In My Head Bother You?”.  Purely for research purposes…not!

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Schedule a Play Date – With Yourself

By on October 31, 2010 in After the Pause, Second Adulthood, Who We're Becoming

Painted Butterfly © lynette sheppard

Whether it’s a spa day or reading or journaling or watching your fave old movies or making art – regular play dates ought to be part of our second adulthood. We need to recapture childlike joy  and immerse ourselves wholeheartedly in unstructured time.

In our feverish scheduling, it’s time to block out playdates (even whole play days) for menopause Goddesses.

It  can be hard to get started - dieseling is what my hubby calls it. I start to do something just for me, but then jump up and try to accomplish, to cross a few more tasks off the list, to have something to show for my day.

Puttering around the house is enjoyable in its own way, as is getting a jumpstart on chores and the work week. But we can get lost in the laundry, cleaning out a closet, organizing, reports.

A Playdate is time just for me. And you. I love playdates with girlfriends too, but there should be just YOU time, where there is no need to adapt yourself to anyone else’s wants, needs, desires, or conversation. In fact, quiet is one of the most nourishing parts of my play days.

So, after a wonderful week of photographic seminaring here on Moloka`i, Dewitt took off for a gallery opening featuring his work on Maui. Though work has piled up and I felt behind, for my own sanity and serenity, I scheduled a Play Day.

Here’s how it went:

There was the usual dieseling:  Changed the bedsheets and piled the old ones by the door to go out to wash.

Forgot sheets – . Organized my desk. Cleaned cat box. Sat down to read and saw sheets. Got up again and put them in wash and put wet towels knotted up in washer into dryer.

Answered phone, lost track of what I was doing: oh yeah, reading. Wait, got to jot down idea for blog. Played another move on Facebook Scrabble with a friend.

Started to read menopause research study in Menopause journal – remembered how much I hate medicalese speak. Put magazine down.

Made coffee – uh oh, breakfast dishes still in sink. Washed them. Poured cup of coffee and sat back down to re-read favorite book “Sisters of the Dream” by Mary Sojourner. A novel about the mystery and magic of sisterhood across time and culture.  (out of print, but it’s possible to find a copy through a used bookstore.)

Some stories are food and this is one of them for me and Theresa-Venus, too. 40 minutes of blissful journeying, .then interrupted by chatty cat demanding affection – (cats think play days are all about them.)

More reading with cat on lap. Lunch.

Worked on painting technique on photographs using Photoshop. One success, one maybe, one failure but I learned something so can try it again and get it right.

Long walk, showered off the sweat.  Finished and won Scrabble game online. Poured glass of wine and watched the sunset.

A perfect play day. A perfect day. I’m filled up again. Tomorrow I can work, refreshed and renewed, excited even.

What would you do with a play day? Or a few hours playdate? And isn’t it about time to schedule one? Share your “perfect day” with us – we might get some ideas for our own future play dates.

BTW, the photo painting that worked is the one of the butterfly above this post.

(For more wit and wisdom from our community of Menopause Goddesses, click here to purchase your copy of “The Big M” – your personal survival and thrival guide for the menopause transition.)

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Getting What We Really Want In Our Second Act

By on October 2, 2010 in After the Pause, Life Changes & Stages, Menopause in Community

Emerald Bay Sunrise © lynette sheppard

Remember in our first act of life, before the Pause, when you really wanted something? Perhaps it was a lover, a job, a new car, or moving to another state.

Finally, through perseverance, circumstance, or luck, you got it. And then? The letdown. Because the desired object it wasn’t nearly as satisfying as you thought it would be. What’s that about?

Maybe, just maybe, what we thought we wanted isn’t what we really wanted. We thought this sought after “thing” might fill us up and when it didn’t, we were left confused and bereft. Soon, we replaced it with another desire. Ah, this would be the one. Or ones.

In our second Act, we hope to be clearer about what we want, about how we wish to live, about who we will become. Because not to put to fine a point on it, but time is running out.

In one of our meetings, the Venuses did the following exercise to discover what it is we really want. This exercise is not a “secret” for manifesting – nor will you be writing affirmations or calling on a Higher Power.

No, this involves a deeper inquiry into what we really desire; what we really want to claim a fulfilled life. and it changes moment to moment.

So here’ s the exercise, (excerpted from our book The Big M.) It’s simple, but not to be taken lightly.

“The Want List exercise

Take a piece of paper and divide it into two columns vertically down the page.  In the first column, quickly write down at least 10 things that you “want”.  Don’t censor yourself or overthink this process.  Avoid beauty contestant answers like “world peace”, unless that truly popped into your head unbidden.  Don’t worry if any of your ‘wants’ seem silly or bizarre.  No one else needs to see this list.  It can be as mundane as a new toothbrush or as exotic as a cruise around the world.

When you have finished making your list, in the second column next to each ‘thing’ that you want, write the one or two words that describe how you will feel if you get it.  Examples:  successful, clean, adventurous, smart, loved, happy, peaceful, etc.

Now read over the list in the second column.  This is the more important list.  These feelings are what you really want.  The feeling may or may not be  met by the ‘thing’ or item that corresponds to it on your list.  How many times have we wanted something desperately, thinking it would make us feel a certain way, only to find that it didn’t deliver what we’d hoped?  If I get this new haircut, I’ll feel beautiful.  Well, maybe or possibly I’ll just feel different.  If I get this degree, I’ll feel smart.  Maybe yes, maybe for awhile, or maybe I’ll just feel in debt with a piece of paper to put on my wall.

Most important is that we really want the feelings in our lives, and the ‘want’ we attach to the feeling may or may not provide it for us.  There’s a clarity in realizing that we actually want the feeling, as we discover that there may be multiple ways to achieve that feeling.  Sometimes to our great surprise, we discover that we already have this feeling in our lives, and have simply failed to recognize it.

To complete the exercise, we call for the feelings to manifest or reveal themselves in our lives.  And we stay open to the many ways these feelings can show up, rather than remaining attached to the ‘thing’ we wanted.  Hey, it may even be the ‘thing’ that brings the feeling, but at least we’re not blinded to the possibilities that the feeling we want may come from other venues.

If you should happen to do this exercise in your own Venus group, you may wish to share the list of feelings you want to bring into your life.  Voicing them aloud, in the supporting presence of the group, serves to give your desires importance and legitimacy in your own eyes.  The whole group can witness, not only for the feelings you want to attract in your life, but the commitment you have toward manifesting them.

As we’ve said before, there is a synergy and a magic to visioning, planning, and creating the second half of our lives in a community of supportive, like-minded women. Together we are SO much more than the sum of our singular parts.  Connected to each another, we become more amazing and powerful than any single goddess, mythical or real.”

If you don’t have a sisterhood or Menopause Goddess Community, you can do this exercise by yourself. It will likely be immensely enlightening. And you can do it over and over again as you feel yourself changing.

Still, I can’t overemphasize that any clarity you gain is so much more profound when illuminated in the community of other women. Because they witness, really hear your desire, they can also keep you on track when you forget. As we inevitably do.

Try it for yourself. Let us know how it goes. (For more exercises in creating our Second Act, as well as surviving and thriving on the Menopause journey, get your own copy of The Big M. And get a copy for a girlfriend at half price when you order yours.)

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Menopause: A Time for Affirmation

By on May 25, 2010 in After the Pause, Life Changes & Stages


I am a huge advocate for enjoying a second childhood in the second half of our lives. In fact, if pressed, I’d have to say that this is my main goal for myself in the post menopausal years. I want to experience the joy and innocence, spontaneity and radiance of youth. Since I can’t have the body, I’ll have to settle for all the rest of the goodies.

Still, even though this is my main goal, I forget it for blocks of time. I get caught up in responsibility and duty, chores and unexpected glitches. Life, in other words. So I probably need to practice raising my energy and focusing my vision with some affirmations of delight.

And this video of young Jessica showed me the way. From the mouths of babes….

Jessica\’s Daily Affirmation

So. Here goes! I love my house. I love my island. I love cool breezes. I love my My Breeze fan. I love my Not-So-Hot purse fan. I love hula. I love my body, in all its imperfections, I love my Macintosh, I love my iPhone, I love my dog and my cats, I love my kids and husband and good friends.

I love walking. I love cleaning up. I love the smell of laundry. I love the high Sierra. I love my Kindle. I love words. I love blogs. I love my art. I love my parents and brother. I love my sister Menopause Goddesses near and far (More than you’ll ever know). I love being alive!

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Waves of Change

By on March 3, 2010 in Life Changes & Stages, Menopause in Community

Wave Mo`omomi at Dawn ©lynette sheppard 2010

Jimmy Buffett’s Margaritaville dragged me from the depths of slumber. “Why is there music at five am?” I wondered groggily. Finally realizing that I was hearing a ringtone, I fumbled for my cell phone on the bedside table.

“Big earthquake in Chile,” my husband blurted in my ear. “Sue Nonny.”

“Sue who?” I asked, scanning my mental files to figure out who we knew traveling to or living in Chile.

“Tsunami!” my husband repeated. “Heading to Hawai`i. Get to high ground.”

Lei Venus and I were attending E Pili Kakou, an annual hula conference on our neighbor island of Kaua`i. We look forward to attending nearly every year for girlfriend time, rekindling our joy in the dance, and new adventures.

This year, Mom Nature saw to it that the emphasis was on adventure with a capital A.

A note had been slipped under our door by the Kaua`i Beach Hotel management. Basically, it instructed us to grab our essentials only and be ready to evacuate if the Civil Defense sirens sounded at 6:00 am. We hurriedly dressed, slam dunked a couple cups of coffee and grabbed our purses, cell phones, and computers.

The sirens blared eerily and we headed to the lobby. We were immediately squired to buses and shuttled several miles away to the Kukui Grove Mall.

Much of the mall was closed and deserted. We headed to the courtyard where a stage was setup for entertainment throughout the year. Our wonderful hotel had sent scads of homemade pastries and a cooler full of drinks for us. (Mahalo Maydene, and all the fabulous crew. Mahalo to Roberts Hawai`i also.)

And then the show began. Blaine Kamalani Kia, president of Ka Laua`e Foundation that created and puts on E Pili Kakou in Kaua`i, Sacramento, CA, Japan, Tahiti, and Vancouver, Canada corralled musicians and hula dancers to share with all the evacuees what is meant by “aloha”.

We sang, danced, prayed, and gave thanks as the day progressed. At around 230pm, the all clear was given and our newfound ohana (family) joined hands in a large circle to sing “Hawai`i Aloha”. It was what we in the islands call a “chicken skin” experience. Kumu Kia invited everyone to join us at the hotel that evening for our performances.

The weekend was extended through the next day with workshops since we’d missed our classes the previous day. But we didn’t miss our lessons. Not at all.

The real lesson of hula, indeed that of all Hawai`ian culture is “aloha”. Aloha – sharing with humility, compassion, modesty, and reverence all that you have to offer with family, friends, and strangers. Aloha – an outpouring of love and grace with no expectation of anything in return. Aloha – a way of life Hawai`i can (and does) offer the world. Aloha, a vision for our present and future that we Menopause Goddesses and elders can model.

Lei and I are home now on Moloka`i. We are grateful to have missed the devastating waves of the tsunami. We are saddened that our ohana in Chile are suffering from the destruction of the quake. And we are reminded to be our own waves – waves of Change. Not tsunamis creating havoc and laying waste, but gentle persistent waves. Waves of kindness and connection. Waves of peace and sharing. Waves of aloha. We can live that promise anywhere.

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