I broke my toe the other day when I tripped over the wrought iron coffee table legs. The doctor has admonished me to keep weight off my left foot. And no hula or power-walking or golf is allowed for 4-6 weeks. My first horrified thought is that I’ll be as big as a house if I don’t exercise, thanks to the menopausal side effect of weight gain.

In the midst of all the changes wrought by Menopause, we goddesses find ourselves in dire need of succor. We turn to our favorite comfort foods for solace and healing. Alas, we cannot splurge without paying a fearsome price these days. Food sticks to our ribs, our thighs, our hips, and our buns. Our metabolic rate has slowed to a crawl. You would think that this slowdown would be more than offset by calories burned through our hot flashes. Literally. And those goddesses who suffer 30 hot flashes per day should be wasting away, regardless of caloric intake. But in seeming defiance of all natural law, the scale tells us we are getting heavier. We look at our favorite fatty, sweet, carbo-loaded treats and we gain weight. We eat "healthy" food and we gain weight. We don’t change our eating habits at all and we gain weight. Some of us starve ourselves and we gain weight. We diet fiercely, trying to shed extra poundage. South Beach, Medifast, Ornish, Atkins. Jenny Craig, Nutrisystems., Weight Watchers. Among the Venuses, we have collectively tried ALL of these at one time or another with varying (read not permanent) success. And each year, it gets harder to fit into our skinny clothes.

Oh yes, we goddesses divide our wardrobes – not into summer and winter garb, but into fat clothes and skinny clothes. We may get into the skinny clothes, but we are not dumb enough to throw away our fat clothes. Because those pounds are always lurking out there somewhere, hoping to come home. And it is just too freaking hard to get rid of them. Anybody know any exercises I can do without putting any weight on my left foot?