Susan writes that she doesn’t know which is worse: her constant feeling of sadness or her hot flashes. That’s easy – whichever one is occurring at the moment is worse!
Seriously, though, for many of us, depression is a disconcerting emotional change that deluges us in menopause. Certainly we have a fair amount to be depressed about (see "Menopause – Good Grief" blog entry – under Menopause & Emotion category.) And yet, our crying jags seem totally out of proportion to the events that precipitate them.
Okay, we’re women. We are sentimental and emotional by nature. We can be counted on to cry at poignant music, Hallmark card commercials, (yes we do – don’t lie), even a leaf falling from a tree in autumn. And naturally, the back-to-back chick flicks on the Lifetime movie channel. But now we also burst into tears at stoplights or sob over paper clips. Big O tire commercials can inadvertantly push the weepy button. This is just not right!
Inherently, we feel that something is deeply wrong. We’ve been saddened or heart-touched before. We’ve been melancholy and lamenting. But this is different. It’s a matter of degree. Too much, too often. And unpredictable. We don’t know anymore what will set our lacrimal ducts off. Or where, except that it will likely be some inappropriate venue with maximum embarrassment value. Our emotions are out of control – and they have a direct link to our tear ducts. And there’s not a damn thing we can do about it, except carry lots of Kleenex and pray for rain. And eat chocolate – chocolate helps.
(excerpted from Lynette’s upcoming book: Venus Comes Of Age)
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Perhaps the newly acquired "baggage" around our eyes is not merely excessive skin but rather a morphing into magical binoculars allowing us to actually view our surrounding environmnet with more purity instead of through critic filters. As much as I tap into the floodgates of tears, I seem to increasingly burst into laughter as wel.
I get those strange unexplained emotional outbursts every now and then, too. More often, of course, at this time of life. When I realize I'm in it, I tap on my collar bone – that nubby area closest to my throat. I go back and forth between the right and left side. It actually helps move the emotion through.
Diane
Dear Dor,
Thanks so much for your inspiring comments! Let me know any topics that should be addressed – I'd love your input.
Thanks again – notes like yours are what keeps me going!!
all my best,
Lynette
At least we have words for it … Teenage girls don't they just react … and don't have the experience to understand the consequences of their behavior…We at least have some of that ….We know this too will pass ..we know the Hallmark commercials will be over in a moment … and the fool that just did some dumb thing will … be gone … or repent …WHAT WE KNOW FOR SURE IS EVERYTHING CHANGES …and the less we are attached the easier it is and chocolate is wonderful
I have recently found this blog and I want to thank you. Your humor is delightful, your words excellently strung together, your thoughts uplifting, and your sharing such a joy. I always appreciate good writing. Combine that with a "feel good" place to visit and I will return often. Thank you! Dor
Dear Mizmell, Let me know how it goes with the hot flashes. I've been on HRT (bioidentical) for about 10 months. It's been so heavenly without the flashes that I'm nervous about going off hormones. But I told my self I'd only be on them a year or two……..
Love the chocolate, but could damn well do without the hot flashes. I'm about six weeks off my HRT meds and hope I'm nearing the end of hot flashes…
Hi I’m new to this site a friend of mine recommended it to me. I just had blood work done and I am in full blown menopause. Low low estrogen. I am having such a hard time with depression, anxiety, crying all day every day. I’m afraid to go on HRT but I can’t handle this. Afraid to be alone and I was one of the strongest most independent woman before this. Can anyone tell me some natural things I can take. And don’t let me forgot I’m losing my hair. Thank you Judy
Hi Judy,
First of all, it gets better. The bad news is that it might take awhile. Search “natural remedies” in the search box for lots of information here on Menopause Goddess Blog. Two quick thoughts: Progesterone cream: Natural Woman and Emerita’s Pro-Gest are two reputable brands. (Natural progesterone cream – NOT wild yam cream, FYI.) Also, Emerita has a preparation called Menopause Plus that is a blend of herbs, soy free that you might want to try. Herbal preparations take longer to work than HRT – 2 weeks at least usually. The most important remedy is girlfriends. Hope this helps! Lynette