Menopause Is A Hair Raising Experience – Literally

Great – we’ve entered the "goddess" phase of our life, only to find that we are androgynous. We are growing beards. The first time a Venus feels that coarse "hair" poking out of her chin, she is equal parts horrified and fascinated. Unable to reconcile this new reality with her view of herself as a member of the feminine gender, she obsessively strokes and touches it to see if it truly is still there. Perhaps it is a new mole, a zit, or just a figment of overactive imagination. She can’t believe that she is actually hoping for a pimple. And when she realizes that the hair truly is protruding from a follicle on her own face, she rushes off for tweezers, hot wax, or electrolysis.

All of us goddesses suffered from this, but each of us feared we were the only real werebeast, until we came together. So while we are still horrified, at least we now know that this is NORMAL. But the hairy difficulties don’t end there.

Sensitivity to Hair
In our youth, we certainly had bad hair days. These were temporary and referred generally to how our "do" looked at a specific time and place. However, now we find ourselves visited by the oxymoronic "permanent change". Our hair actually turns against us. We are being attacked by our own tresses – in the tiniest puff of wind, individual hairs will reach out and TOUCH your skin! Like a dozen tiny spiders crawling all over your cheeks, forehead, FACE. Some Venuses have seriously considered taking a pair of scissors and just hacking it off. (The scissor attachment on my micro Swiss army knife was inadequate to the task or I might have done it at the lunch table one day.) Much calmer now, I just carry a small pump of hair spray so I can shellac it into a helmet when the torture begins.

My husband observed when we were in a restaurant recently that nearly all the women appeared to be over 50. "Look around at them. What do they all have in common?" he asked. When I shrugged my shoulders, he laughed, "They ALL have short hair!"
(Adapted from our upcoming book "Venus Comes of Age, The Wit and Wisdom of Menopausal Goddesses").

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10 Responses to Menopause Is A Hair Raising Experience – Literally

  1. Theresa September 23, 2009 at 7:42 am #

    Well, I suppose this is one of those times when one can be thankful for never having had great hair. Now it just a duller version of weak genes. As far as facial hair – stop wearing your glasses. There is a reason our vision goes bad at this age – self protection.

  2. Lynette Sheppard September 23, 2009 at 7:42 am #

    Absolutely! And my husband will verify the truth of it.

  3. cade September 23, 2009 at 7:42 am #

    When I feel one of those pokey chin hairs, I drop whatever I am doing and rush to pluck.

    As for the bad hair, I have been blaming it on the water softener.

  4. Lynette Sheppard September 23, 2009 at 7:42 am #

    Yes, I too rush to pluck! And I never thought about blaming the water softener – great idea!

  5. Lynette September 23, 2009 at 7:42 am #

    Oh Yes!!!! In fact the next couple blog entries will be ALL about this! No you are not imagining it – and it is worse for some of us than others. Yikes. It's a long freakout story, so I'll let you know when I post the next ones.

  6. Rae Young September 23, 2009 at 7:42 am #

    I just turned 60 about a month ago and when I looked in the mirror to see a 60 year old …… my hair seem all of a sudden grayerrrrrrr and thinnerrrrrrrrr??????? Oh well, got my health and my love is much older, so to him I'm still a young gal. Life at 60, grey and thin hair is still good!

  7. Lynette September 23, 2009 at 7:42 am #

    Yep, that's how it starts. For a year or two, I wore ponytails or wore it up all the time. I still have pretty long hair, but it does drive me bonkers when there is even a puff of breeze. I'm not sure it really helps to cut it short unless it's a buzz cut and I'm not ready to go there. Yet.

  8. Mizmell September 23, 2009 at 7:42 am #

    I'm not quite there… yet! I do prefer my hair up more than down, so I guess I'm well on my way.

  9. Saskia September 23, 2009 at 7:42 am #

    What about thinning hair at the hairline? Either I'm imagining it, or the gray is just getting grayer and making it look thinner as it grows. Anyone else freaking out over this?

  10. Wamblings September 23, 2009 at 7:42 am #

    So that's why women over 50 have short hair? I had come to the conclusion they were all Lesbians moving into their butch stage. At least that is what my husband thinks is the reason I cut my hair off. Silly men. Now I can tell him authoritatively that it is because of menopause.

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