Menopausal Tourette’s

I briefly mentioned Menopausal Tourette’s in the January 15th blog entry "Things Got Hairy, Then They Didn’t." Judging from the comments and mail I received, it would seem that this menopause symptom has afflicted a number of my sister goddesses.

We all have an internal censor that most of the time keeps us from saying stupid, hurtful, or outrageous things in social situations. Sure, we THINK these things all the time – thoughts like "Wearing that color green makes you look like you have hepatitis" or "Is that your wife or your daughter?" or "You are boring the crap out of me right now."

Your "censor" is like a little imaginary person who keeps you from making a total ass of yourself. However you imagine your censor in your mind (mine wears pinstriped suits and sensible shoes), she is responsible for rephrasing inappropriate thoughts into words fit for human consumption. She’s your very own Miss Manners. She also is in charge of helping your facial muscles reflect, if not interest, concern, or delight in the appropriate situations, then at least impassiveness, so that all your thoughts of horror, disgust, or impatience aren’t visible for all the world to see.

Come menopause, however, all bets are off. Something terrible happens to our internal censor. She loses her ability to help us be mannerly, polite, and kind. Clearly, she is hormone dependent and now she is worse than useless. I find myself blurting out inappropriate comments faster than a manic Tourette’s sufferer. And the excuse "oh sorry, it’s just my hormones today" doesn’t cut the mustard.

More than once, in the middle of some endless, circuitous, waste-of-time meeting or appalling display by an acquaintance, Rae-Venus has had to whisper in my ear "Do something with your face – you look disgusted."

Without the help of my censor, I’ve learned to keep my mouth shut longer before responding, nodding sagely in order to make sure I don’t blurt out the first thought that comes to mind. While this has helped in many ways, it also tends to make me look like a middle aged bobber doll. (Material adapted from our upcoming book "Venus Comes of Age: The Wit and Wisdom of Menopausal Goddesses".)

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6 Responses to Menopausal Tourette’s

  1. Poetikat September 23, 2009 at 7:42 am #

    My Censor has been on holidays for quite some time. Good thing my husband has a great "evil eye".


  2. cade September 23, 2009 at 7:42 am #

    Maybe for some goddesses, menopause is time for truth telling. Children speak the truth in their naivite', perhaps the goddess in menopause utters the truth by experience.

  3. Miz Mell September 23, 2009 at 7:42 am #

    I like the idea of the censor hiding inside. I try to listen but sometimes my mind goes way off in another direction.

    I have been making a conscious effort to think before I speak. I'm an outspoken person anyway, so menopause is doubly hard.

  4. Lynette Sheppard September 23, 2009 at 7:42 am #

    A very wise observation. Perhaps this is a good thing, that we are no longer able to camouflage our truest thoughts and feelings, however difficult either may seem to others. I do notice that with age, I am much more fond of straight talk and truth telling, both receiving and giving. Thanks.

  5. goodpix September 23, 2009 at 7:42 am #

    Menopausal Tourette’s… I have always have an element of this as my personality … and I have had to work much harder on saying nothing in the last few years…I sell furniture … and there are days I wonder how I keep my job… a while back when I was noticing the meltdown of my self sensor … I escaped …I had a customer that was driving me nuts … with crap that didn;t matter…and I asked her straigt out will this really matter in 50 years? She looked as if I hit her …mostly I keep it under wraps and that is good for the people around me… and some times thay just need the TRUTH UNVARNISHED… I had another customer who was asking for pricing on several item asking questions Ect… I prices and listed several items and gave her the list … I print … My hand writing is not easy to read… She looked down at it and said you write like you are illirate … I looked straight at her and said … I am probibaly better educated than you are and I HAVe MANNERS and walked away from her… You sometimes have to let her out…

  6. John December 30, 2014 at 2:46 am #

    Yeah that isn’t Tourette Syndrome. Don’t call your hissy fits that. For one thing, it clutters up search results for people looking for information about the effects of menopause on their Tourette Syndrome. For another, you’re trivializing and fostering misinformation about an often debilitating disorder.

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