Nudity. I don’t like to contemplate it anymore. Oh, I’m not philosophically opposed to it in any way, shape, or form – except the way, shape and form that I personally inhabit these days. Menopause and time have morphed me into someone I don’t recognize. Especially naked.
After my morning shower, I look in the mirror and I literally scramble to put on my clothes. I try to view myself from limited vantage points when confronted by my reflection. I’ve become an expert at the millisecond glance. Things have shifted, slipped, and padded in ways that I never envisioned. I’m equal parts fascinated and horrified.
Some days, I think to myself "oh what the heck, this is what a fifty-something woman looks like. I look ‘good for my age’. " (At one time, I thought the phrase "looks good for her age" was insulting, now it seems like a legitimate compliment.) Luckily, if my husband notices that I’m not the svelte young thing I once was, well, bad eyesight and good sense keep him from remarking on it.
Recently, I was lamenting (sounds slightly more highbrow than whining) to my massage/healing practitioner about how I want to lose weight. "No!" he commanded loudly. "No! You’re healthy. Why are women always worrying so much about their weight? Stop it! If you tell me that you want to get stronger and more fit, great. And if you tone and tighten as a byproduct of that, well okay. But NO setting out to lose weight."
"But," I whined on. "My clothes are tight."
"Then go around naked more," he admonished. "Clean house in the nude – write in the nude – pay bills in the nude."
So I’m trying his advice. Luckily, we live in an extremely rural area, so there are no neighbors or passersby to offend. Our long driveway gives me plenty of warning, should I need to make myself presentable for company.
My husband seems to like this new development. The cats don’t seem to care. (Although the lap sitting is a bit of the problem when they contentedly start to knead my thighs with their claws. Pillows help.)
And I have to say that I’m feeling much better about my fifty year old shape. It’s voluptuous, it’s mature, and it’s healthy. Most important, it’s mine.
(For more menopause and midlife wisdom from our Venus community, click below to order The Big M – and don’t forget our girlfriend’s special – buy one at full price and get the second at half price! the Big M
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I seem to remember that in the earlt 20th century, women who were voluptuous were considered beautiful. We can`t all be slim and without lumps and gelatinus masses in our torso, Venuses. Now is the time to enjoy life without the stress of dieting! Just be your lovely selves. It is 2009, tine to reflect, refresh and renew. Oh, Lynette, your picture is lovely. Stay as you are.
Lynette,
Came across a quote that applies here, and in many, many other instances:
"Worry is a misuse of the imagination."
Not sure of the origin, but its applicable nonetheless.
Cheers,
Dale
Well, Lynette you must be back on Molokai if you are sauntering around in the nude! I'm in my winter tights w/ fuzzy pullover and NO BRA! I wouldn't be unhappy w/ my shape, had not all my flab migrated to my midsection. Still have good legs, ass, arms. But my apple has gotten rounder now I'm off my HRT. I don't suppose my wine drinking in the evening has anything to do w/ it! My spouse also wisely defers comments, but I see his eyes wandering to my waist, and I think, well, I really need to follow the venus diet (eat everything you want, just half as much). And actually I've dropped my holiday pounds, just by paying attention to what goes in my mouth. But gee, all my pants are tight around the waist. Dang, I can't afford a new wardrobe, so I guess I have to eat and drink less and get to the gym after work. But work is gnarly right now and I'm so pooped after a very demanding day in a busy medical practice. What to do? I am a good girl on my days off: yoga, cycling, and I try to walk the dog on my work days. It's all a constant evolution to "balance". At least I'm more accepting and clear eyed about my looks and shape in my 50's, but I sure like to remember my bikini days and my lithe body in my 20's. Sorry to ramble. Feel free to edit. love & hugs, A.
As one of the older godesses, I'm now looking behind at 60, and I'm noticing my behind suddenly got bigger. Where did THAT come from? A little problem with one of my feet (now requiring that I wear orthotics!), a lot less walking for the past 6 months…. and voila!, a bigger behind.
Not only am I having to wear looser, bigger clothes, but I even have to wear bigger shoes to fit the damned orthotics.
So, OKAY, I'm going to try the naked thing more – just have to wear shoes!
Girlfriend – now you have discovered the value of the muu muu. And if you insist on living nude, can I have your clothes?
I find that sitting around in the nude, or semi-nude, is a great solution for hot flashes!