Menopause goddesses are myth busters, and Sharon Venus shattered a few major ones last week in Maui when she married her soulmate, Dan.
Myth Number 1
A woman over 40 has a better chance of being killed by a terrorist than she has of getting married. (We didn’t need Snopes to know this was bogus, but this crazy stat still floats around out there.)
Myth Number 2
By midlife, all the good ones are taken. (This is untrue in the case of both men and woman. Nuff said.)
Myth Number 3
Men and women over 40 are too set in their ways to make good partners.
So not true. I know inflexible twenty-somethings and open, curious midlife men and women. This is not an age dependent phenomenon.
Myth Number 4
Men and women over 40 have too much baggage and there will be difficult hurdles in relationship.
I can attest personally to the fact that no matter how much luggage Sharon and Dan pack on any given day, they ALWAYS travel lightly.
Myth Number 5
As we age,we become sedate, quiet, and not as adventurous as our 20 something counterparts. Es no verdad! Many of us are entering the best of our second childhood exhibiting delight, wonder, and a willingness to take risks. (After the menopausal heat wave dissipates, that is. Prior to that we are just trying to survive.)
As you can see from the photo, Sharon Venus was GORGEOUS in that sexy, fabulous dress. She and Dan exchanged heartfelt vows on a Pacific Whale Foundation sunset cruise with 80 close friends and family, while a slew of humpback whales breached, spyhopped, and slapped the ocean loudly with their fins and tails. It was an amazing celebration of love.
After the ceremony, Sharon and Dan moved about the boat, kissing and greeting, accepting congratulations. And the bride vaporized, once and for all, Myth Number 5.
The Venuses don’t have a special handshake or song or password. We DO have a saying, really more of a shouting. "Shitfire, Eunice!" we yell whenever one of us needs encouragement, praise, or just as general celebration. It’s a combo of you-go-girl, woo hoo, 150% enthusiasm, to da max, and it doesn’t get any better than this! (It’s a longish story as to how this became our identifying phrase and best saved for another time.)
When Sharon Venus embraced me, I whispered in her ear softly, "Shitfire, Eunice". The lovely goddess leaned back still holding my hands, and hollered "SHITFIRE, EUNICE!" to the delight and confusion of a boatload of wedding guests. And we were off to the reception.
Printed on cards for each guest was the following perfect poem:
"The minute I heard my first love story,
I started looking for you,
not knowing how blind that was.
Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere,
they’re in each other all along."
RUMI
Yeah. Exactly. What he said. And congratulations. Shitfire Eunice!!!!
Damn straight. Sharon & Dan make us all smile. The next time I hear/read one of those crazy myths, I will certainly yell, "Shitfire Eunice."
You go girl!!!! Shitfire Eunice!!!! As I age, everything seems to get better……… , you leave of the silly youthful stuff behind and really engage in the meaningful stuff……I guess, that is what Sharon and Dan are all about!!! aloha rae
OMG, what a fab bride, and that dress and figure
were to die for. My photo had her head cut off, was she wanting anonymity? I heard about this magical wedding from Theresa, and I am so happy it was as wonderful as the bride (and I presume the groom) deserved. CONGRATS to happy couple, and thank you for exploding all those "women past 40" myths!! Lovely essay, Lynette. You just get better and better.
A. (P.S. love your website quotes)
My deepest congratulations to the newly married, gorgeous menopausal goddess and her spouse! I have a friend who recently wed at 84 years of age. There is always hope when love comes along. We Goddesses will prevail and enjoy the life we have.
I remarried at age 42. My best friend married at 40.
My new hubbie has helped me through the death of my parents, and empty nest syndrome, as well as REALLY bad menopause. I wrote a bit about my journey through grief, bereavement, hot flashes, job stress:
Living and Dying With Dignity: A daughter’s journey. It really is a difficult stage of life: the sandwich generation.