Vaginal Dryness and The Big M: The Painful Truth


When I was a young girl, vaginas were not a topic for polite conversation. Or any kind of conversation, save in the odd sex education class.

Times have changed. And with the advent of Menopause, so have we. The Big M is not polite, and we need to confront one of its more disturbing manifestations head-on. Namely, vaginal dryness.

It isn’t vaginal dryness that we notice right off the bat. It’s the first time we have sex and it HURTS. A normal, healthy sex life is something most of us have taken for granted for many years. Suddenly, physical intimacy becomes pain. Who saw that coming?

Loss of libido occurs and that is distressing enough. Yet, when desire returns and we find that sex is painful, it can be a devastating experience. I’ve received soooooooo many letters about this phenomenon. As one of the single goddesses wrote after a disastrous encounter, “It was one of the most humiliating experiences of my life.”

Because our normal lubrication has “dried up” with the hormonal changes of aging, we may need help. Thankfully, we have options these days.

Our best course of action is to supplement with a good lubricant. Use before intercourse and keep it handy in case you need a little more during. Emerita makes one of my favorites called “Natural Lubricant”, a water-based, non-greasy lubricant. It feels very similar to our own natural lubrication. Hence the name.

Emerita also makes a product called “OH! Warming Lubricant” which can help fuel the “fire down below” in a gentle, sensual way while providing “natural” lubrication. The Venuses like this one a lot. Available at health food stores, major drug store chains and direct from Mayo Clinic:

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5 Responses to Vaginal Dryness and The Big M: The Painful Truth

  1. Theresa October 5, 2009 at 9:37 pm #

    God bless LOVE IT!!!

  2. Liz H October 5, 2009 at 9:38 pm #

    Dong Quai, a root often sold in Chinese herbal shops, is very effective. It helps to balance female hormones. The ground root is also available in capsules. I boil up a good handful of the sliced root along with 7 to 10 of what the Chinese herbal shop calls “dry date” shriveled reddish plum looking things) in a quart of water. That makes about 3 1/2 cups of tea, and I drink 1/2 cup a day for a week and bingo, no lubrication problems. The roots are too tough to eat, but the dates can be eaten after boiling. They help mitigate the bitterness of the Dong Quai root.

  3. Rae October 5, 2009 at 9:39 pm #

    I find that conversation in the “M” years is so odd, what kind of lotion do you use? or more importantly what kind of personal lubricant do you use? and of course if we find one that we really like we share it with our v-sisters! here is my pick, play, by durex you can it at any wal mart.

  4. Dawn September 29, 2014 at 8:26 pm #

    Can I also recommend red clover infusion and oat straw infusion?I rotate the drinks so that I am drinking one one day and the other on the next day. I began drinking this last year when I first began to experience vaginal dryness and within a few short days I felt my umm juices coming back! I have used the emerita lubricant, as well, and feel that it is probably the only lube I will use on my body. Lube is not really that great for the body, as it tricks the body into thinking it doesn’t need to produce any natural lubricant…but the Emerita brand is good to use in small quantities.

  5. LynetteSh September 30, 2014 at 5:21 pm #

    Wonderful recommendations, Dawn. Thanks so much!

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