When I was a young girl, vaginas were not a topic for polite conversation. Or any kind of conversation, save in the odd sex education class.

Times have changed. And with the advent of Menopause, so have we. The Big M is not polite, and we need to confront one of its more disturbing manifestations head-on. Namely, vaginal dryness.

It isn’t vaginal dryness that we notice right off the bat. It’s the first time we have sex and it HURTS. A normal, healthy sex life is something most of us have taken for granted for many years. Suddenly, physical intimacy becomes pain. Who saw that coming?

Loss of libido occurs and that is distressing enough. Yet, when desire returns and we find that sex is painful, it can be a devastating experience. I’ve received soooooooo many letters about this phenomenon. As one of the single goddesses wrote after a disastrous encounter, “It was one of the most humiliating experiences of my life.”

Because our normal lubrication has “dried up” with the hormonal changes of aging, we may need help. Thankfully, we have options these days.

Our best course of action is to supplement with a good lubricant. Use before intercourse and keep it handy in case you need a little more during. Emerita makes one of my favorites called “Natural Lubricant”, a water-based, non-greasy lubricant. It feels very similar to our own natural lubrication. Hence the name.

Emerita also makes a product called “OH! Warming Lubricant” which can help fuel the “fire down below” in a gentle, sensual way while providing “natural” lubrication. The Venuses like this one a lot. Available at health food stores, major drug store chains and direct from Mayo Clinic: