Post Menopause Shape Shifting

sea lion © lynette sheppard

Aging gracefully. I think it might mean not complaining about all the ignominious skin crinkling, bone creaking, and WTF moments when we look in the mirror. Okay, okay, I am complaining. Just a little.

While I’m in the full throes of whining, I might as well address the post menopausal phenomenon of shape shifting.

I’m not referring to the shape shifting we experience in early days of The Big M, when a woman turns into a werebeast or a fiery volcano goddess. I’m talking about LITERal shape shifting.

With this demonic twist on body sculpting, we goddesses don’t gain weight, but it all redistributes. Where? Depends on the day. Wherever it wants. I’ve been so many shapes in the last 6 years, I’ve lost count.

I met a Menopause Goddess sister shopping one day in J Jill, a store where I can actually find clothes that fit and don’t make me look like Old Mother Hubbard. We were discussing shape changes when she burst out, “ I don’t have just a muffin top – I’ve got the whole freaking muffin.”

That about sums it up. Body parts slide, recompact, and deposit in places you never imagined. Case in point, early in the pause I grew bodacious tatas for the first time in my life. Bought all new clothes to accommodate them. Then one night, the menopause fairy came and took them away.

But she must have gotten bored, because after a few years, when I’d finally given away my boobalicious apparel, she brought them back. Try going from a 32A to 34C to 34B to 34C-D. Sheesh. I should have bought stock in Victoria’s Secret.

Once upon a time, I wanted bigger breasts. (read most of the first half of my life.) Now they’re here. And frankly, they are just in the way.

I remember in high school biology when our instructor was teaching us about about endomorph and ectomorph or some such nonsense, that he singled me out as having the body of a 12 year old boy, a definite endomorph. I still remember how humiliating that was. (No, he wasn’t mean, just clueless. The fact that it was true only made it more embarrassing.)

I would love to have that body back now, I’ll tell you
. Because along with larger tatas come larger thighs, larger tummy, and a big old butt.

I’m going thru my closet yet again – getting rid of clothes that don’t work with my new shape. Sigh.

Seriously, I never expected to have the exact same shape all of my life. But I figured there’d be 4, maybe 5 max. child, young chick, pregnancy, middle aged gal, old woman. Who knew what there were an endless succession of “morphs”.

And just about the time I get used to this latest one, I’m pretty sure it will be replaced by yet another.
So I guess the aging gracefully part will have to be acceptance moment to moment. I’m not there yet, but I’m working on it.

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11 Responses to Post Menopause Shape Shifting

  1. Betty Zahler November 14, 2010 at 6:39 pm #

    I can`t believe all the lumps and bumps that come with the aging process. Just when i think i have it licked with eating grains and leaving sweets alone, “bam “my will power goes. Have convinced myself that it is a losing battle and should forget literally starving and go with the flow. What fun that has been! Guess this antique goddess has found the way to just be blessed and happy.

  2. ellen November 15, 2010 at 9:50 am #

    Just laughing about this as I head to the gym this Fall morning. What used to take a week or two to disappear now stubbornly sticks around. Definitely looking for grace on this part of the process…

  3. Holly November 15, 2010 at 11:04 am #

    How true that all is. One day I’m perfectly comfortable in a pair of jeans and the next day I’m thinking they shrunk in the dryer. The problem with that is I didn’t dry them. Oh well-just going to jump back on the treadmill and walk it off.

  4. Lynette Sheppard November 15, 2010 at 12:28 pm #

    Thanks for the smiles, ladies. LOL – gotta laugh or we’ll cry. (Would that be COL?) So I laugh – a lot.

  5. Cynthia November 15, 2010 at 3:27 pm #

    There is a silver lining, of course. I’ve always had a struggle with when, exactly, to let go of old favorite clothes. The closet has always tended to get more and more stuffed, until I was forced to make hard, brutal decisions and throw something out. For years, I tried the rule of thumb: if you haven’t worn it in 2 years, get rid of it. But the wardrobe creep just continued, albeit a little slower. However, the recent changes have taken care of that problem. Closet make-overs occur at least every other year now!

  6. Janice Cáceres November 16, 2010 at 2:19 pm #

    I figure I was just right for about 15 minutes. Same thing–first time in my life outside of pregnancies and nursing that I had the “tatas”. Alas, they fell. Now, my hips are bigger. But, isn’t it wonderful that we’re alive to watch it happen! And that stores sell support garments…

  7. Lynette Sheppard November 16, 2010 at 2:32 pm #

    It absolutely is wonderful – and honestly, while I would love to have one of my previous shapes back, I wouldn’t go backward from this time of life for anything. Second adulthood is just a great thing! My new clothes should be arriving any day – woo hoo.

  8. Lynette Sheppard November 17, 2010 at 5:32 pm #

    I just tried squeezing into a skort before I realized it was in a previous skinny size. I’m in it now, but I think the casing is too small for the sausage. As long as I don’t sit down…

  9. Celi November 17, 2010 at 10:46 pm #

    Thanks gals and pals. I never imagined there was a universal problem like this. Thought it was just me being out of shape and into another shape and then out of it again. I dropped 2 sizes and celebrated but its amazing what does not fit and what a surprise to discover something that DOES!

  10. Blump December 16, 2010 at 1:55 pm #

    Love the funny expressions – humor comes through once again to squire us through another portal. My yoga suffers though – too much is in the way!!!


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