Is it hot in here or is it just me? Girlfriends, it appears the latest hot flash research blog entry hit a nerve for many of our sister goddesses. One comment thread on Facebook had us rolling on the floor, clutching our sides and gasping from the laugh attacks.
As goddess Michelle G. MD shared, “Dude! We got ZERO education on menopause in medical school. THIS SUCKS!! If Pfizer can give a man an erection, can’t they come up with a way to make me stop sweating in a 50 degree room?”
Yeah, baby. What she said!!! I got a whole paragraph in my 1200 page women’s health textbook in nursing school. “Menopause is the cessation of monthly cycles in females and the end of reproductive function.” Just how that was supposed to be helpful, I haven’t a clue.
Thankfully, our generation of women is not quiet or complacent. We are taking matters into our own hands by sharing our voices and being proactive about our health. We might be sweaty, we might be cranky, we might be weepy. We will be heard.
With that in mind, Menopause Goddess Blog is partnering with At Last Naturals sponsoring a contest to get your best hot flash story. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Sharing our stories is one of the ways we get through the Big M. It helps us realize that we are NORMAL and that we will get through this transition. With a little help from our girlfriends.
Here’s the details:
They can be funny, irritating, poignant, or embarrassing. Hot flashes take the prize as the signature symptom of Menopause. Here’s your chance to get even. Share your favorite hot flash story or experience and win $120 worth of natural products for women from At Last Naturals.
Your story can be absolute truth or fiction, prose or poetry, 10 words or 1000, your own experience or seen through the eyes of another. Like your husband. Or your cat. Anything goes. Think of this as therapy – really cheap therapy where at best you win a prize and at worst you offer up a written commiseration for the benefit of Menopause Goddesses everywhere.
At Last Naturals are a line of natural products for women, created by a woman, to help us through these transitions and restore our bodies to balance. They sent a box for our review, which I immediately shipped off to one of our Menopause Goddesses who is just going through H-E-L-L with her perimenopause. She has promised to give us a full report.
In the meantime, to find out more, visit At Last Naturals web page and/or like them on their Facebook page. And they will be in our Menopause Marketplace very soon.
Okay, sharpen those pencils or warm up that keyboard and send your hot flash story to me at firstname.lastname@example.org. You may also post it in the comment section here on the blog. Winner will be announced March 31. Women sharing wisdom (and wise ass humor). That’s what we are all about.
I don’t remember much about my high school Spanish class. But the one thing I remember like it was yesterday is when Senora got a hot flash. All of a sudden she was jumpy, she was pacing and she was fanning herself. Finally, after raising her arms to the ceiling and getting no relief, she opened the window and let in the sub-zero Wisconsin air. But that still didn’t cool her off. Next thing we know, Senora is out the window all the way to her waist. She stayed there for a few minutes, then re-entered the classroom as if nothing happened. We were so spooked, we just got back to work, as if nothing happened, too.
growing in my belly and it spreads.
Wet hair (I keep it boy short now, miss my ponytail) and sweat trickles between my breasts. I ease out of my pajamas and moan,
stretching, desire for something to bank my
burning fire consumes me
although I am already consumed.
To write it so sounds sensual, sexual,
stuff of fantasy.
It is in hot fact an F-ing hot flash.
I am young at 47 and quite vibrant,
alive and happy in my skin,
passing on the secret woman-knowledge
every day at work
to new mothers.
What I need is someone cool
to pass on the
to an initiate crone.
Oh – so many memories regarding those power surges however following is one of my favorites.
I was in a very important real estate meeting, trying to negotiate some tense issues between a contractor, cabinet builder and a “high-energy” buyer – all men. As the REALTOR (and only female in the room,) I was having to keep egos in line, keep issues on point and at the same time, leave each one of the participants in a “win-win” situation. Very calm on the outside but certainly a stressful situation. Never-the-less, out of the blue, ta-da! Starting with that deep down warning glow, the heat spread faster than the Angora wildfire throughout every molecule of my body. It was intense and before I knew it, try as I might, I couldn’t make out what was being said. I saw their lips move and then I saw a look of bewilderment on their faces. Soon – all eyes were on me. Finally, what sounded like Darth Vadar, a voice said, “are you alright?”
Guess what intelligent words spouted from my lips?
“I MUST TAKE OFF MY CLOTHES!”
Needless to say, those men grabbed their clipboards and ran like hell.
The transaction ended smoothly.
I never heard who won.
It was posted in the blog entry titled “Hot Flash Story Contest Winner” – here’ s the link – FYI – you were second – loved your story. https://www.menopausegoddessblog.com/2011/04/05/hot-flash-story-contest-winner/
Hi – I laughed at the stories you shared on this blog. After watching my wife for 8 years now dealing with hot flashes, we both agreed we’d make fun of them in a blog that I write. She helped me pick the top 10 she would not be too embarrassed about.
I’d love it if you all would check it out: http://jameslawson.ws/index.php/2013/02/she-might-be-having-a-hot-flash/
I searched for things written from a male’s perspective but never found much. With all respect to you all, I hope you’ll get a laugh out of them.
Absolutely hilarious, James. And spot on!
I’m just starting in to all this hot flash stuff and in fact, that is how I knew it was menopause. It was absolutely freezing in the house and I was hot and couldn’t even stand having socks on. When at the computer, all I have to do is open a “Leave a reply” box and the heat surges. I’m having a hard time concentrating and my spelling has gotten worse!
In the last month, I’ve moved to a separate bed from my husband because I kept throwing off the covers. The bed had suddenly become too narrow, his body too hot, and the tossing and turning was just keeping us both awake. I can still hear him snore so I’m not that far away and what a joy to turn down that volume!
It’s great! I can wander all over the other side of the bed searching out cold spots in the sheets to cool off, hanging a foot out of the covers just doesn’t work like it used to. I simply wrap a thin soft towel around my pillow case so it can absorb more if I manage to sleep thru a sweat. If I do, rolling over to the dry side of the bed is possible.
I found out that these power surges are the result of too much unused energy, chiefly iodine and other minerals flowing in the system without their previous nest building function. It is extra energy that we can use to regenerate our brain cells and add to our longevity! Reduce meddling carbohydrates (starches & sugars.) Add vitamin D.
Sounds good. Well that makes sense, every time I try to think or concentrate —> hot flash. Like the energy overflows where needed. Seems funny, like if I want to avoid a flash (flush in other English speaking countries) all I have to do is stop thinking. Stop thinking… (Gosh, wouldn’t the men love that!) So, I’m trying to stop thinking, nope, just kidding. I’m trying to stop interpreting the surges as brain fog and more like energy boosts to unjam cut off circuits. Wow, it’s been a while, flash-back to high school speech class! Note to self: next flash, stop focusing on self and imagine everyone else in their underwear! Does that work or will I just be envious? I need additional speech classes: “Meno 101” or “DYI, Unjamming the Nerve Center” or “How NOT to Envy the Folks watching you in their Underwear!”
I now have a new problem rolling over in bed at night, no sooner do I roll over —> wait for it —> hot flash. I guess I have to be sneaky, not letting my body know I want to roll over. Easier said than done. Solution in the works.
I have discovered that petting my dog (she’s my menopause dog) seems to quiet the surges so they don’t peak so abruptly. So I’ve concluded that blood pressure plays a role. I use my coffee to raise my BP in the mornings and naturally that warms me up and yes, haven’t gotten thru a cup yet without a flash or two. But hey, I’m flashing here like a lamp with a wiggle contact. I think if I can figure most of this out (before my dog turns bald) I can adapt sooner. Oops, palms sweating on the keyboard now. (I refuse to stop thinking!)
I just want to funnel or un-funnel the energy in other ways to mellow hot flashes, perhaps brain exercises or games to take advantage of the situation to grow gray matter. Most problems get solved when I can focus on what is exactly happening instead fear of the unknown controlling me. Information is power over fear!
I am so glad to be finally in menopause, embracing it with open arms. I want to celebrate and found this site while looking for how to do this. I want to throw a big big party and looking for appropriate “Welcome Menopause” party favors.
Wow, Sarah. This is such a great comment, love your observations and I’m sure many Menopause Goddesses can relate. I’d love to republish it as a blog post so more women can see it – let me know if that works for you. And yes, Embrace the Change!