I’m sending a huge shout out to all the Menopause Goddesses who shared their hot flash stories and memories for this contest. There were so many belly laughs that it was hard to narrow them down to one winner. And as you all know, I believe we all win when we share our wisdom and humor with one another. We may be hot and dripping, but at least we know we are not alone. And there is serious power in that!
Here is a sampling of my favorite entries – our overall winner is at the end. Read on and empathize.
Tori Venus shares:
“My husband and I were going out to dinner with a couple we didn’t know very well. As we were driving to the restaurant, the windows steamed up, got all foggy, and our host was fiddling with the defroster, turning fans up all the way to no avail.
“What’s wrong with my car? I’m going to have to take it in to the dealership.”
He just couldn’t figure it out.
Finally, my husband piped up, “Just open the windows. My wife is having a flash.” It’s all true. Every word. I swear it.”
Jill Pic submitted this wonderful poem:
growing in my belly and it spreads.
Wet hair (I keep it boy short now, miss my ponytail) and sweat trickles between my breasts. I ease out of my pajamas and moan,
stretching, desire for something to bank my
burning fire consumes me
although I am already consumed.
To write it so sounds sensual, sexual,
stuff of fantasy.
It is in hot fact an F-ing hot flash.
I am young at 47 and quite vibrant,
alive and happy in my skin,
passing on the secret woman-knowledge
every day at work
to new mothers.
What I need is someone cool
to pass on the
to an initiate crone.
Our own Theresa Venus writes, “Oh – so many memories regarding those power surges however following is one of my favorites.
I was in a very important real estate meeting, trying to negotiate some tense issues between a contractor, cabinet builder and a “high-energy” buyer – all men. As the REALTOR (and only female in the room,) I was having to keep egos in line, keep issues on point and at the same time, leave each one of the participants in a “win-win” situation. Very calm on the outside but certainly a stressful situation. Never-the-less, out of the blue, ta-da! Starting with that deep down warning glow, the heat spread faster than the Angora wildfire throughout every molecule of my body. It was intense and before I knew it, try as I might, I couldn’t make out what was being said. I saw their lips move and then I saw a look of bewilderment on their faces. Soon – all eyes were on me. Finally, what sounded like Darth Vadar, a voice said, “are you alright?”
Guess what intelligent words spouted from my lips?
“I MUST TAKE OFF MY CLOTHES!”
Needless to say, those men grabbed their clipboards and ran like hell.
The transaction ended smoothly.”
First runner up Liz Jorgensen shared a flashback from her teens.
“I don’t remember much about my high school Spanish class. But the one thing I remember like it was yesterday is when Senora got a hot flash. All of a sudden she was jumpy, she was pacing and she was fanning herself. Finally, after raising her arms to the ceiling and getting no relief, she opened the window and let in the sub-zero Wisconsin air. But that still didn’t cool her off. Next thing we know, Senora is out the window all the way to her waist. She stayed there for a few minutes, then re-entered the classroom as if nothing happened. We were so spooked, we just got back to work, as if nothing happened, too.”
And our winner is Edwinna Margheim with this hilarious recounting:
“I used to work in the Admission office at our local community college. We had been working hard and going through the arduous task of implementing new software and had one of the guys from IT over giving us a hand. As I was sitting at my desk entering grades, I leaned back and groaned “Oh my God… power surge!” as I began to have a hot flash! The IT guy jumped out of his chair and ran over to me saying “Where? Did you lose the data? What’s going on?!” I wasn’t sure I would ever stop laughing.”
Neither were we.
$120 worth of At Last Naturals hormonal support products is awarded to Edwinna. And I personally will be very cautious about using the term “power surge” in the future, you can be sure of that.
Stay cool, dear goddesses. And hey, just because the official contest is over doesn’t mean we shouldn’t share our humorous, humiliating, enlightening experiences. Keep ‘em coming. We can use all the smiles we can get.