When I first started this Menopause Goddess Blog five years ago, I envisioned it as publicity for our book: The Big M in softcover / Becoming A Menopause Goddess in ebook format. I believed that all our Menopause Goddess sisters would then start their own groups (like the Venuses) to meet, nurture, and accompany each other on this forced midlife journey. The book would be their guide and our work would be done. I had no idea that the blog would take on a life of its own.
Every week, I get mail from women who are grateful, struggling, or just wanting to connect. Sooooooo here I am, with the worst of the Big M thankfully in my rear view mirror, still hosting our virtual community as well as meeting with the beloved Venuses each year. Goddess bless the internet for making our circle so large and intimate. Regardless of where we are on the Menopause continuum, each of us houses an abundance of wisdom. Luckily we live in an age where we can sit down at the cyberspace kitchen table and share.
Starting now….here’s a letter from the Menopause Mailbag written by one of our sisters who is struggling right now. Please share any thoughts, recommendations, and support you have for her right here in the comments. Let’s embrace her and let her know the most important thing about this journey: She is not alone!
A Menopause Goddess’s Plea
I have been following your blog for a while, as I try swim through the chaos my life is in right now.
I just turned 40, and am in menopause for about 4 years.
I have been diagnosed with fragile X syndrome, and had huge myomas in my uterus which was treated by means of embolisation in 2007.
Unfortunately after the procedure, my cycle disappeared, and no amount of begging the specialists could get them to seriously look into the problem, until 4 years later when suddenly i WAS in menopause, and it was all over. After that Fragile X was diagnosed, so no-one knows if the menopause is from the embolisation, or from the syndrome. My guess its a bit of both, I think 8 days of continuous contractions after the embolisation knocked my body and uterus into oblivion!
Biggest kicker is that I don’t have kids, always wanted them, but because of all the problems it didn’t materialize.
!2 years ago I miscarried, but always believed I would ‘be given’ another chance
And now? Now I just try stay afloat amongst all the emotions this has all brought, lately I feel I am slowly starting to sink….
Are there any other women on your forum / blog etc that have anything (remotely) similar? It might help to just chat to someone who knows inside what it is to go through this? I am so tired of people saying let go, and its not all that to have kids, and and and… I am just soooo tired
sorry to put this on you, I just don’t know where to turn to right now.”
Excellent for those of us going through it. I started it late, (see, I can’t say the word!! 🙂 and the input is excellent. Some people really go through tough times with it. I find that laughter works at times, and realizing we’re not alone. Having 2 teens while going through it is also credence to “what will not kill you will make you stronger.”
Good work and I have given you the Liebster Award for my top 5 blog picks. Come over and check it out. 🙂
Hi, Lynette. Tried to reach you at your aol address, but you may not have gotten my message. Lloyd and I so enjoyed meeting you while we were in HI. We discovered that Whole Foods on Maui carries Chocolove bars, but if you’ll send my your address, I’d love to send you some from CO. Be well; age well,
In response to the sister who wanted and could not have children: DONT LISTEN TO ANYONE!! IF YOU WANT CHILDREN FIND A WAY TO HAVE THEM. If that means adopting then by all means do so. If that means researching scientific discoveries to have a child then do it.
As an older mother (45 at my daughters birth) I cannot tell you how personally insulting it was to hear people say “focus on other things in life” or “kids aren’t everything in life” – people that had kids. And when asked would they do the same, the response was “well I have kids”. No help there. And yes, you’re basically telling me im not as good/lucky as you so I need to lower my life standards and dreams…
So go find a way to become a mother. Adopt, foster, research doctors that perform miracles…If it is your dream never let anyone tell you to give it up. I’m an old lady now with an 8 year old and I’m glad I never listened to the naysayers. Its your life. Hopefully this post will give you or another woman courage to follow your dreams despite what society tells you.