A Guide to Creating Me Time

Paradise Palms © lynette sheppard

Paradise Palms © lynette sheppard

First off, I want to thank all my sister goddesses who wrote me about which topics were uppermost on their priorities for the “Second Adulthood” posts. I promise that I will get to all of them – eventually. Most are high priority for me as well, as I traverse this second half of life. And please, if you have thoughts, insights, or offerings to help us along the way, share them! That’s how we survive and thrive – together!

 “Me Time” was mentioned so many times that it jumped to the top of the list. I used to think (and say) that I needed to find time for me, as if it were lost or misplaced and I had only to stumble upon it to have it. I know now that I was completely off base.

Me time can’t be found. It must be created. We have to actively set aside time for ourselves or risk never having any. Sure, there are always demands on our time. For years, we put aside ourselves for other people and priorities. The rare massage or infrequent bubble bath just didn’t fill the need, though they helped some.

So, how do we go about creating “me time”?

First and foremost, we have to believe that “me time” is important, even critical. Right now. Because it is.

Second, we have to be clear with our family and friends that this is a necessity and in no way diminishes our relationships with them. In fact, they may come to see that a refreshed, revitalized intimate is more present and connected, a pleasure to be around. It can only enhance our relationships.

Third, we must schedule it and keep it as a sacred covenant, to be broken only in case of a true emergency. (And I have found from this vantage point in life that very few of the “emergencies” I responded to earlier in my First Act were truly as urgent as I made them out to be or that I was the ONLY one who could respond. Discernment is called for in such a case.)

Right now, I am writing this blog post from my hotel room on the island of Kauai. I’m sitting in the middle of a bed with four, count them: four, fluffy white pillows propping me up. Sister goddess Lei and I are attending a multi day hula conference. Hula is something we love and share; it nourishes us. However, it is intense to go from early am to late night learning and sharing dances. And while this trip is a type of “me time”, it can be tiring both mentally and physically.

So we’ve learned to schedule a day prior to the conference and a day after to just “be”. We might hang by the pool, make art, or just take a walk on the beach. We might talk. Or not. Naps may spontaneously happen.

Tonight, our last night here, one of our sister goddesses who lives on Kauai will join us for dinner and we’ll have some “us time” as well. I know that we will be rejuvenated and re-created by all of this time. And we will go home rested and filled with joy.

Don’t wait. Start now. Schedule that me time. And let us know how you feel afterwards.

Helpful hint:  it can help to schedule “me time” with a girlfriend. Because we may let ourselves down, but we will not let our girlfriends down. Who knows? It may become a habit. Let’s hope so, anyway.

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4 Responses to A Guide to Creating Me Time

  1. kay in wa February 29, 2016 at 10:48 am #

    How do we define “me time?” I mean, what is the outcome we are looking for? If we can do it with another girlfriend, is it “me” time?

    I feel like I do have some time to myself nearly every day. I go on lunchtime walks. I go to the gym. Those are times I am alone, doing something good for my body. They are times I’ve resolved to take to keep myself in shape. Is that “me” time? Or is it a time when we are meant to be introspective? Or does it have no particular goal at all but time to ourselves? How do we know we’ve had “me” time? When we don’t feel deprived or soul-sucked?

  2. Kim February 29, 2016 at 11:29 am #

    I am a 310% believer in me time with girlfriends. Thanks for including me in us time:-)

  3. Joanne Jamis Cain March 2, 2016 at 3:59 pm #

    Lynette, you are so right. Me Time needs to be scheduled and time with girlfriends is a great way to do it. Love this post!

  4. LynetteSh March 6, 2016 at 3:01 pm #

    Really great questions, Kay. I think it happens when you feel regenerated and filled up – many times for me, that does involve quiet and solitude. It also happens with close girlfriends – Lei and I spent time together being quiet, I think that helps. I admit to being a bit of a hermit type – I crave solitude. However, I have a few close girlfriends where it feels like solitude and companionship along the same journey – at the same time. I think “me time” might be different for different women. However, I DO feel that some unstructured time is really important – time to daydream, stroll (as opposed to when I am focused solely on exercising), just be open to anything like young kids. That also fills me up. OK, long winded answer to your question – loved it. Would love to hear what “me time” is for other women.

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