Reflections on Tranquillity © lynette sheppard
In late February, I watched the news and knew we were in for a major hit. Every healthcare professional I know has anticipated and dreaded the coming of the next global pandemic. Knowing didn’t make it any easier to cope.
My husband and I live on a tiny island in the Pacific. Our governor shut down most travel on March 25. Turned out that an island resident who’d traveled earlier in the month came down with the virus. He worked in our main grocery store. Overnight, the entire staff of that store was quarantined, people in hazmat suits arrived to decontaminate all three of our little grocery stores, and food shopping stopped for three days. Our two smaller stores and their rock-star staff along with dozens of volunteers revamped “shopping” to get food to our island. We line up in cars, hand over lists and credit cards, and we wait until staff fill bags of food and place them in our cars. (My husband waited in a line of cars for two and a half hours the other day. He said that he just thought of it as a medium length plane flight.) Some things are not available, Hours are reduced. But everyone is cheerful and caring and grateful. So far, only one other person has tested positive for the virus. We isolate at home except for shopping and exercise. We all wear masks and gloves whenever we go out. We keep at least 6 feet between us and others at all times.
My brain fog came back with a vengeance. For the first time in years. I couldn’t hold a thought for more than a few seconds. I’d start to do something, then wander into another room and start to clean, then get hung up on straightening out my jewelry box. I’d forget just about everything. I couldn’t really blame it on menopause this time. Anxiety and uncertainty just made it hard to think.
After the initial shock and panic, my brain is a little less foggy. I have enough attention span to make lists and write this blog post. Dewitt and I have settled into a new routine. We work in the morning. We make art, write, or read in the afternoon. We line up for groceries once a week. We go to the post office twice a week. We call, Facebook, and Zoom with friends and family. We connect with our neighbors and help one another where we can. We take walks and listen to podcasts every day. We are toning up and losing weight.
We’ve adopted some new habits. We are watching less television. (Which is weird; I thought we’d binge watch Netflix everything.) We dress up for dinner, even though it’s just the two of us. We eat outside on the lanai every night. instead of balancing our plates on our laps in front of the evening news. We try new recipes with fewer ingredients. We go to bed earlier and read books before turning out the lights. Every day is spa day, as I pull out and actually use the cleansing masks and foot soak products in my closet. These little tweaks serve to calm and nurture us, as does yoga, meditating, and just listening to the birds.
Tell us how self-isolation has affected you. What coping methods can you share with your menopause goddess sisters? Women sharing wisdom – that’s what we are all about. Post in the comments below. Be safe, be well. We will get through this – together.
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Hi, Menopause Goddess it has effecting me in a way that words cannot describe I’m always in state of shock behind this and I just don’t know what to think anymore I ask myself is this the new normal but I just keep the faith and pray that things will get better when you hear so much on the news media and other programs your mind start to wonder my husband is a true believer of YouTube but I’m not especially when it comes to all the negative feedback on the corona virus there is something out there I truly believe that I work in the school system so I am threw for the remainder school year and I’m blessed in the respect so I am contemplating if I am going to take early retirement I am here in the United States Missouri to be exact with that said I have been keeping myself busy exercising, reading, spring cleaning, doing puzzles, Netflix, and practicing being mindful and staying in the present moment we are in this together all over the world and I am going to continue to pray for our peace and freedom be safe and healthy always Brenda Watson!
Thanks so much, Brenda, for sharing your coping wisdom. It helps all of us to know we are not the only ones. Be well. Be safe.
I also noticed that I forget everything easier since this coronavirus situation , forgetting doctor appointments and lots of brain fog. My husband still has to work he is a federal employee and I am working from home. I get up in the Morning and drink my green juice I have extracted from several veggies then 2 tablespoons of seamoss , sit by the window to listen to birds and stare at the trees and counting my rewards. 3 years ago we relocated from New York City where my husband and I were born and raised to SC . For the first time since relocating in 2016 I am glad we are here. I do 1/2 to an hour walks around our home which sits on 1 acre of green land just beautiful and thankful I am able to go outside especially at this time. I read before bed , also talk with family and friends on Zoom. I practice Nicherin Biddhism so thats is my form of meditation chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo . I listen to many podcast about coping with anxiety, I speak with meme era of my practice often we have Buddhist study meetings and encouragement phone conferences weekly . The best thing is just able to speak with my mom everyday who still resides in NY and doing well at this time . Even though I still struggle with uncertainty due to Still being in the midst of my menopause and not know how I will come out of this with my my mind restored I am thankful for just being alive and well.
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and ways of dealing with this. Be safe and be well.
Lynette…thank you for this! ALL of it rang so true for me. I have a lot of art emerging which has brought focus and peace (at times). And I’ve noticed a pattern…my art is small and more detailed when I am stressed or sad or grieving. It feels sacred! So my main “go to” right now – when I’m not working – has been art…especially mediums that are fluid. Watercolors and Bombay inks are the best…they are unpredictable and beautiful. Just like this moment we are in and the goddesses we are 🙂 right!? Love to all.
You’re right, Julie. It so helps to know we are not alone in our feelings just now. I love that your art has that aura of unpredictability – it’s what I most love about my iPhone art – I never know where it’s going, I’m just along for the ride. Be well and be safe.
Hi, Lynette! I am 50 and in perimenopause. I recently discovered your blog while seeking to educate myself and learn as much as possible about this major life change that NOBODY seems to talk about! I wonder about my grandmothers, my mother (all three have passed) and think, “Why didn’t they warn me?” Thank goodness for this blog. I looked at others and yours is the best 🙂 I love your writing style and your beautiful artwork. I am a psychiatric RN and starting a phD program this coming fall but question my ability to survive such a rigorous program while going through meno-Hell! I’m in Montana. COVID-19 has not hit our area very badly, we only have 38 in our valley, one death, but our governor (Bullock) responded very well and has been a wonderful leader during this crisis. My husband and I are staying home and loving the time home as our lives are normally super busy, but also have dealt with extreme anxiety and even depression due to grief and loss–a sense that perhaps the world will never be quite the same. We are trying to be positive, meditating more, we go on long walks and bike rides almost every day. We try to count our blessings. We’ve been cooking super healthy food, doing living room workouts to loud music. We have a yodeling record from Germany that makes us laugh in hysterics, especially when my husband dances along. Netflix got really old pretty fast which is good because watching TV just made me feel even more confined and lazy. I’m not working because my husband has asthma and he has elderly parents we are close to, also a sister in-law who is immunocompromised, so we are taking quarantine and social distancing even more seriously than some. Anyway, thanks so much for this amazing blog and best wishes to you and your husband in this bizarre and unusual time! –Laira
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and feelings, Laira. I thought I was coping pretty well for the first couple of weeks, then had a complete meltdown from anxiety and grief. It was cathartic – I got up the next morning – knowing that we will get through this. And yes, things will be different for a very long time, maybe always. I remember Stephen Levine (expert on death and dying, but really living) saying that we aren’t responsible for our illness – but we can choose to be responsible TO it. Same here. Responding day to day – staying awake and present – seems to be what’s called for. I think we are up to the task. Be well, be safe.
Thanks, Lynette, for this heartfelt blog about the unbelievable changes we are faced with and the uncertainty of what will happen next and in the future. As much as I try to stay uplifted and Celebratory (due to the influence of you and Dewitt), I find myself highly anxious about many things. Rich and I are both 75, which not only makes us “high risk” now, but perhaps in the future as far as “social distancing”! We had plans of moving to Oregon to be near our daughter who just moved, but now that is all up in the air. Have a grandson who is graduating from high school this year and has a scholarship to play baseball at a college in the Fall. Now that is perhaps up in the air! Some of our kids lost their jobs, others were in process of looking for work when all this happened. Deep down I know that in time, the world will be healed and I believe Stronger in many ways. By being “forced” to isolate, we have become so much more appreciative of our interactions with others. Rich and I have become stronger as a “team” and communicate more than ever now. Each night after dinner we play some sort of game (cards or board game). Games have always been a central part of our family interaction over the years. Now, as adults, all of our kids still love playing games. Easter night we had a Zoom Yahtzee party – lots of fun and great seeing all our kids faces as we played. Tues. my daughter turned 50 and we had another Zoom party with more relatives and helped her celebrate. I even decorated my dining room with over 100 pictures of her over the 50 years, a Happy Birthday banner and cupcakes with 5 and 0 candles on them. I walked my iPad around to show her all the pictures and then sent her copies of pictures I took. We are all realizing the absence of physical connections often promotes more meaningful, quality connections in other forms. I am texting, calling and video chatting more now than ever. We are seeing our country and World pulling together to fight a common cause. I am hoping for a greater sense of Gratitude from all as this crisis eventually becomes a lesson of the past. Your grocery shopping situation does require a lot of understanding and patience. I was actually talking with Dewitt during his 2 1/2 hour wait in a long line of cars. We go to our store at 7 am for senior hours and that has worked well so far. Thanks again for inviting us to share our stories. Each one of us has a different perspective and way of handling all of this. I thank you and Dewitt for your daily posts to ease our worries and help us see the Good, have Hope and cherish the Love that surrounds us!!
Barb, thanks so much for your thoughts and inspiration. Yes, we all are facing challenges and realizing that we are all in this together. I love the idea of a Zoom yahtzee party! Dewitt and I are going to play Scrabble tonight. Stay strong – be well and be safe. hugs, Lynette
Thanks for a much needed thoughtful post Lynette. I’m meditating more than ever and could just stare at this lovely photo forever. Stay well! xo
Thanks so much, Linda. Be well and be safe!
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Working from home frees up an hour each day that I’m not behind a wheel driving to and from work. That also means I’m not listening to as many audiobooks and/or podcasts. Instead, I am walking more with Eric and Lulu, and that gives us more time together, more things to see and ponder, and more time to chat about our days. I kinda like that.
I hope you are all well and gentle with yourselves.
As for me, I am taking in the hysteria. Please do not be offended, but it stairs me that we are so far away from being our true selves, this pandemic has really put us in a place where we are forced to look at ourselves out not.
It seems we have all forgotten how to survive without gadgets, work, games, all the things that keep us preoccupied.
At last, we are all in the same boat, the entire world, how about that? What a time to be living. Can you imagine living in a war torn country? All those children living in that every day?
Somehow we’ve been brought into this situation for a reason. I am not in the least devaluing what each person may be going through..but my problems are so picayune compared to what some others may be experiencing.
Most of which I know are temporary…if I get caught up in the fear.
We’ll make it through. If it’s my time, so be it.
There’s more to this than a pandemic. It’s time to come alive within ourselves.
What do we really need.
I am in menopause, it’s been hell, but I know I’ll get through it like the millions who have gone before me. It’s my time.
“Being” is enough.
Don’t buy into fear.
Rest
Help others when you can.
Lovingly
Thank you so much for your blog. I am sorry to hear that brain fog. I find this amazing tea called queen bee. the link to so you have a look. https://www.wildwomenteaclub.co.uk/collections/menopause
The thought of the menopause has sometimes filled me with fear. I got this program The Natural Menopause Solution by Julissa Clay and I’m so glad. Knowing what to expect takes much of the fear/discomfort away and helped me prepare. In addition, the advice in this program inspired me to make some healthier choices that I’m already benefitting from. Thanks this program, things are going well. I find myself rereading passages frequently. The author took an uncomfortable topic and made it easy to understand. I’ve recommended this program to friends and hope they find it as helpful as I have.
https:// healthlifestyle.club/menopause-solution