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Menopause: From the Sublime to the Ridiculous!

Comedy © lynette sheppard

Comedy © lynette sheppard

My new favorite Menopause music video is by Kyla Burge. Her husband Brian Burge is the driving force behind the Blow Me Cool fans that Menopause Goddess Blog readers (and yours truly) just love! Enjoy this take-no-prisoners tune as Kyla tells it like it is:

You can find the Blow Me Cool fan in the Menopause Marketplace: click here.

In other news on the Menopause front, two research studies have come to light recently. (Though personally, I wonder if they should have been left in the dark. Or at least, unfunded.)

First, we have a groundbreaking (NOT) study showing that Menopause causes memory lapses. Apparently, they couldn’t take our word for it. A controlled study determined that it is just as women have reported: Menopause causes sucky memory. Read more here: Menopause Memory Study.

Last, and almost certainly least, we have research delving into the question “Why” does Menopause happen. It was thought to be a result of outliving our reproductive usefulness, but now would appear that it is the fault of Men. Yep, we knew we’d be able to pin it on them someday. That day is here.

Turns out that this study found that women go through Menopause because Men start preferring younger women at some point. This research gets my vote for most useless information on the Pause yet. Not sure what they suggest we do about this nor how they determined the cause and effect here. Tell you what. You can read more here: Men Cause Menopause.

I’ll say this much – with studies like these and smart, funny women like Kyla Burge – we won’t have to worry about losing our sense of humor anytime soon. That and girlfriends will get us through. Maybe we’ll have a few more laugh lines, but that’s fine with us.

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Menopause Survival Manual For Men


Lately, I’ve been getting as much mail from men whose mates, moms, and menopausal female pals are looking like a puzzle they just can’t figure out. So for them, I’m offering a few small tips for dealing with us while we are going through the Change.

#1 Choose Your Words Carefully
While you are tippytoeing on those eggshells, here are a few phrases that will get you on your way with the least amount of breakage:

“I love you.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Have you lost weight?”

I’m forever grateful to Shellie Rushing Tomlinson of All Things Southern for sharing these gems. Check out her video on Hot Flashes and Mood Swings in the August 3 blog post of this year “Gotta Love Those Southern Menopause Goddesses” to further understand why you can’t say these three phrases too much.

My own hubby, Dewitt, often sounds like a well-trained parrot as he trots these out over and over. Do I mind his constant repetition? No I don’t. It doesn’t matter how or why he is saying it, just that he is. It’s a way for him to express to me that he knows I’m having a menopause moment. Or year. Or two.

#2 Don’t help. Listen.
We know that it is a man’s nature to want to help in situations where damsels are indeed in distress. However, I can assure you that unless you can magically change our very DNA or make it rain female hormones on command, there is nearly nothing you can do to help. Except listen. Without speaking. And maybe handing us a cool damp cloth for our fiery forehead when we start to sweat like pigs.

#3 Surprise us with housework

I came home today from lunch out with two of the Venuses. I looked at the kitchen sink where I’d left the stack of dirty dishes only to find them washed and air-drying in the drainer.

This is guaranteed to get us right in the heart. And sometimes even in other sensitive places, where our libido has hung a sign reading “On Vacation, Indefinitely.” Yep, porn for women is men doing chores without asking what needs to be done (that is a key part – if we have to tell you what to do, the surprise factor is pretty much lost. As are points.)

The other night, Dewitt jumped up and dried dishes that I was washing, after throwing in the laundry. I gotta tell you, he never looked sexier to me. Hmmmmmmm, housework as aphrodisiac.

#4 Preemptive mood strikes

Along with the aforementioned three mission critical phrases, offering chocolate, neck rubs, wine, and the TV remote are effective mood enhancers that can smooth out some of the emotional swings before they happen. And if they do occur? It’s less likely that you’ll be caught in the crossfire.

These are enough to get you started. Heck, if you only implemented the advice in these four simple tips, you’d be well on your way to being the ideal menopause goddess mate, friend, or companion. We’d love you for it.

Photo for this blog posting is the cover of a fabulous, fun book called Porn for Women. Photographed by Susan Anderson, From the Cambridge Women’s Pornography Cooperative, published by Chronicle Books of San Francisco.

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Pausitive Changes

surf lava

My husband once remarked that it was a wonder that more couples don’t get divorced during the  Big M transition. And certainly it’s true that if we who are undergoing this forced journey don’t understand much of what’s occurring, our mates and loved ones are left completely befuddled.

The combination of physical changes and emotional changes can put a strain on the most loving relationship. Loss of libido, depression and apathy, irritation with everything your loved ones say and do, fatigue, hypersensitivity to noise, temperature, and touch are just a few of the manifestations of this hormonal rollercoaster ride.

Christiane Northrup, author of The Wisdom of Menopause, starts her book of 500+ pages with this sentence “It is no secret that relationship crises are a common side effect of menopause.”

Okay, well it may not have been an intentionally kept secret, but I sure never heard anything about this. (Or any other of the myriad manifestations of the hormonal sh*tstorm we call the Big M.) And I’m a registered nurse for pity’s sake.

Dr. Northrup goes on to elucidate that whatever is wrong or dysfunctional in your relationships will be greatly exacerbated by menopause. I think that is true.

However, in all my talks and sharings with menopause goddesses and their loved ones, I’m finding that a huge amount of upheaval can exist in the most functional relationships.
The Venuses spent a significant part of every meeting focusing on our primary relationships. Suddenly sexual desire disappears. We may not have leisure time interests in common with our spouses. The kids are no longer a focus.  How then do we connect with one another?

And now our intimates want to spend more time with us (the men are changing, too, don’t forget.) We are just beginning to explore our creativity and may want to spend more time alone or with girlfriends  How do we reconcile these needs with our desire to be connected with our loved one?

It has been all too easy to assume that every freakout or episode of bitchiness is hormonal – “oh she’s just going through menopause”  rather than a legitimate reaction to circumstances.

Additionally, deeper difficulties may be brewing or problems long ignored have just come to the surface.

However, it is just as deluded to assume that this sea change isn’t hormonal. Especially if the change is fairly dramatic, seemingly without warning.

Theresa and I found that we went from zero to sixty on the irritation meter in seconds during the worst of our transition. Talking with the other Venuses showed us that we were not alone.

It became clear to us that we needed to ascertain when our anger was a legitimate problem, a true trampling of our boundaries versus a hormonal side effect. Let me tell you truthfully, it can really be hard to discern the difference.

Looking backward, I can offer this advice. Proceed with caution and take it slow. We found that irritation might flare up in a circumstance that we could certainly rationalize as being justifiable anger. But we often decided not to act or say anything right away. We mused. We waited. We paused.

If we were still pissed off in a few hours, we reevaluated and decided on a plan of action for confronting and discussing the problem. If our irritation had literally vanished, we knew that hormones might have played a part. And we let it go.  No harm, no foul.  Especially no harm. To us or anyone else.

(A little history sidenote here – none of the Venuses is a shrinking violet, unused to sharing her feelings, including anger. If you have always contained your anger and irritation, this may not be the best plan for you. You may need to let some anger out. After all, some Change is good!)

And some good news.  The worst of the emotional and hormonal upheaval seems to last around two years, give or take a year. So be patient. Get to know your irritation levels; when they require intervention and when they don’t. Warn your loved ones when you feel especially out of control so they won’t take it personally. Best of all, they can support you. They love you.  They want to help.  Let them.

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What We Wish We’d Known Sooner About Men II


Men and Women Are Not Equal
I’m not talking about equal rights or equal pay, although those issues are still not completely resolved. The Venuses grew up during and after the women’s movement, fully expecting to work outside the home and to share childrearing and homemaking responsibilities with their mates. Somehow it never worked out the 50-50 way we envisioned it.

While most of us did work or pursue careers, we also did the majority of the shopping, cooking, laundry, and other housework. Generally, the bulk of the childcare seemed to fall to us women. There are likely a multitude of reasons for this phenomenon, such as patterning after our mothers, loose boundaries, and caretaking addictions. However, the biggest reason might be simply our wiring differences. Women notice and think globally – that is we are aware of multiple inputs in the environment. We naturally process all these inputs at once and multitask accordingly.

Men have much greater powers of concentration, focusing on a task at hand while filtering out input unrelated to said task. Which is why the toddler can be putting oatmeal in the VCR right next to a man while he is on the computer, and he won’t notice it. This focus can be and is a gift. It is useful, even desirable in many situations. However, overall house management and simultaneous childcare are not among them.

Genelle is one of our satellite Venuses. She hasn’t been able to attend a meeting yet, but she offers juicy insights on a regular basis. She told us how the global awareness of women came into direct contact with the more focused concentration of men in her own household one evening. She had just finished the dinner dishes and making snacks for movie night at home. Laden with blankets, a bowl of popcorn, and the movie they were to watch, she asked her husband as she moved from kitchen to living room, “Could you put away the butter, grab the cat, and bring the salt?” In all seriousness, he replied, “Well, I can’t do EVERYTHING.” “What?” was her only rejoinder, as she gaped at him in astonishment.

Fortuitously the movie they watched that night was “March of the Penguins”. Genelle claims that it hit her like a bolt from the blue that the male penguin was a perfect analog to the male human. He was able to perform only one task in preparing for his offspring. He could only sit on the egg. The female had several chores, but the male had one all-consuming and important task – sitting on the egg. She turned to her husband excitedly. “I get it, honey. It’s all about the egg.” Her husband looked at her quizzically. “It’s all about the single-pointed attention and focus on the task at hand that makes men so good at what they do. And so pitiful at what women do.”

Genelle summarizes her epiphany about men and their singlemindedness.

“Men are very simple creatures. What you see is what you
get. It’s not their fault, but they can only do one friggin’
thing at a time. They can’t cook while paying bills, nursing
the baby, and answer the phone. They block out everything
but the task they are doing. It’s not a fault, it’s a flaw.”

Don’t get us wrong here. We aren’t proclaiming the superiority of one sex over another. Men aren’t worse or better than women, just different. Men actually can do more than one thing at a time. They are capable of tremendous multitasking when it is related to a single focused goal, such as work or career. The ability to block out excess stimuli makes them less distractable and more on target. Women are not as skilled at filtering and have an expanded awareness of nearly everything in the environment – great for some endeavors and not for others.

Although this may be a bit of an oversimplification, it is nonetheless true that men and women are wired differently. A man’s brain is actually anatomically different than a woman’s. A “bridge” called by the fancy name of corpus callosum connects the right hemisphere of the brain to the left in all humans. In men, that bridge is much smaller than in women. This is believed to be why women are less focused, more global thinkers. The linear left brain is better linked with the more intuitive, emotional right brain in women. Even though I am a nurse, I never understood until recently the full ramifications of this physical difference. It seemed like a quirky bit of medical trivia, rather than a physiological basis for the sexes seeming like different species to one another.

This linkage between brain hemispheres may be related to the greater emotionality of women, as well. For most of us, it was a revelation that men’s emotional lives seemed so much less intense than ours. We thought they just weren’t good at expressing their feelings, but perhaps their feelings were not as paramount in their everyday lives as ours.

Jane-Venus wished she’d known this little detail much sooner. She sees it this way:
“Men are incapable of the same thought processes and
depths of emotions that women have, so we shouldn’t
have expectations of them to be like our girlfriends.”

If we’d only known earlier that men were so very different than we are, it could have saved us so much frustration, hurt, and confusion. If there were one thing we’d like to pass on to our sisters and daughters, it would be this. Men are nothing like us. And no amount of wishful thinking, classes, or therapy will wire them in a similar fashion to us.

We desperately wish we’d known sooner how different men are from women. We wish we’d known our separate gifts, without judgment or anger. But it’s not too late for understanding to grow.

Armed with this knowledge, we might embark on a new voyage of discovery with the men in our lives, based on our differences and how they blend together rather than basing everything on our own inner experience. And our men might be well served to do the same.

(Material partially adapted from my book “The Big M”. Click on the link below to buy the book – proceeds help support this website – thanks for your support!)

Buy The Big M

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What We Wish We’d Known Sooner…About Men


Sigh. No matter how old we are, it seems that men are a hot topic whenever women gab, talk, or converse. The main reason for our preoccupation with the male animal? They are not like us. At all. They don’t think like we do. They don’t notice their environment or relate the way women do. Their emotional life is less visible (and it seems to us, a lot simpler.) They really are a horse of a different color.

The differences between men and women continue to surprise us, even though we know better. Or at least we ought to by now. So we’re sharing what we’ve learned with you, our goddesses in training, in the hopes that you won’t beat your head against that proverbial wall nearly as long as we all have. We have the bumps and bruises to prove it.

If we’d only known sooner that men are simply wired differently, we might not have suffered so much angst nor worked so hard to change them. Believing men were anything like us was a losing proposition from the get-go. We cannot stress this enough!

Jane-Venus summed it up:

“Men just don’t think like we do. They can be
great friends, lovers, and amusements, but they are not like
us. Even men with strong feminine sides are still MEN and
their brains are just different. You are not going to change
them. They are who they are and eons of evolving haven’t
changed them, so how can we?”

The Venuses believe that if we’d known sooner that men were actually a different species of being, we might have been able to accept them for what they are instead of trying to turn an otter into a zebra. The amount of energy we have expended on this unattainable and unrealistic goal could move mountains. Or solve the energy crisis. Or both.

Some of the differences are striking when we notice them in day-to-day life. We’ll let you in on a few that would have been invaluable to know about sooner. Although it’s never too late to start learning what makes men tick.

Men Are The Weaker Sex
Ask any midlife woman whether men or women are the stronger gender and she will answer unequivocally “Women”. Men are physically stronger, but less resilient in the face of long term adversity, emotional upheaval, and physical illness. Perhaps it is their wiring; perhaps it is due to their identity as the stronger sex, but whatever the reason, men just don’t handle extended life crises all that well. Particularly when there is nothing you can actually DO to fix it.

Women are used to weathering storms in their own bodies. Monthly menses, pregnancy, childbirth, and menopause remind us continually that we are not in control. Men aren’t subject to these reminders so problems that are not immediately amenable to action just turn them inside out and upside down. They are geared for action and as every woman can attest, some of life’s difficulties just have to run their course. You can’t do anything about them.

Alas, when we are in the midst of a storm that we need to ride out, the men in our life become part of the problem. If they aren’t able to DO something about it, then they start freaking out. Unable to simply BE with the crise du jour, they become little dust devils of ineffectual activity. Before we know it, we are taking care of the storm and we are taking care of them, too.

Which leads us to another thing we wished we’d known about men: We aren’t true equals. That’s a big enough topic that we’ll cover it in the next blog entry. For now, just focus on the fact that men are not like us – and they never will be. Ever. No matter what. If you can be okay with this fact; relax into it and be present with it without needing to change it; your relationships with males will be greatly enhanced. And life will be so much happier. We guarantee it.
(Material partially adapted from my book “The Big M”. Click on the link below to buy the book – proceeds help support this website – thanks for your support!)

Buy The Big M

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More Menopause Goddess Flashbacks: What We Wish We’d Known Sooner About Friendship


Here’s another flashback of “learning” we Menopause Goddesses wish to share with our daughters and younger sisters. Looking in that rear view mirror lends a clarity sometimes that brings everything into sharp focus and makes us wonder how we could have missed the obvious back then. I have a sense that the generations following us have some of this down already, but it doesn’t hurt to reiterate it, just in case.

Friends Are More Important Than You Think
Looking back, the Venuses wished they’d known sooner how beautiful, fragile, and important friendship would be in their lives. While a couple of us always had very close female friends, many felt they missed out on the true joys of friendship in the early years.

One of the possible reasons for this youthful missing out had to do with seeing other women as competitors rather than companions on a similar journey. Courtney-Venus described this sense in her own words.

“I didn’t really trust my women friends. I was completely
self sufficient and didn’t need anyone. I had friends and
enjoyed them but was too distrustful to appreciate the
give and take of friendship.”

Claire-Venus voiced her feelings thus:
“Friends were for partying together and keeping each
other company. Friendships were not as important as significant
other relationships, although you could be more
of yourself with friends. Friendships could be sacrificed
to a sexual whim or to a lover who wanted you to himself.”

Too many of us experienced the lack of close friends in our twenties and thirties. We didn’t know what we were missing until much later.

What we wished we’d known much sooner was that friendships, especially with other women, would be the sustenance for our hearts and souls. We wished that we’d known how monochromatic and unfulfilling a life without intimate female friendships could seem. That these connections were so profoundly important to us came as a bigger revelation than the one that men are wired differently than women. It surely made as powerful an impact on who we are.

Looking at friendship now, the Venuses find it hard to fathom how we could have deprived ourselves of this most necessary part of life. We can no longer imagine spending our days without the succor and support of our sisters. We are grateful every day for the presence and love of our girlfriends.

Beej-Venus celebrates friendship in her own words:

“Friendships are what enriches life beyond all else. Without
friendships, very little spiritual and emotional growth
would be possible. Friendships require energy, the kind
of energy that begets energy, and the more that you put
into them, the more expanded life becomes. At this age,
being emotionally honest, supporting one another, and
sharing soul to soul is HUGE. The women in my life are
my greatest blessing!”

Once we let them in, friends become a constant in our life’s journey. We find that we cherish our girlfriends as sisters of the heart. Jane-Venus continues on the unchanging nature of friendship:

“I now know that friends are our most precious possessions.
They have helped to shape who we are and where we are
going. Friendship should evolve and change, however what
made you friends in the beginning is still there at the core.”

Courtney-Venus likens friends to our chosen family:

“Friends are the people you select. Good friends tell you
what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. I am at
an age where I appreciate the great friends I have.
I understand they aren’t perfect and I don’t have to be either.
We can really be ourselves and accept each other.”

Give And Take
True friendship requires investment and caring. We need our friends and must take time to nurture and grow our relationships.

In my twenties, I lost a dear friend because I didn’t nurture the relationship when it was most important. I was going through a painful, protracted divorce and completely lost in my own difficulties. My friend was diagnosed with uterine cancer and called to tell me. I will always regret that I did not travel to her side and lend my support. Even though she had her family and husband, there is simply no substitute for a girlfriend when you are in need. She survived, but the friendship didn’t.

I learned a painful lesson, one which I hope has made me a better friend to my current intimates. A friend has to give back, even when she is in crisis herself. It’s never only about me.”

Carol Ann-Venus expands on this:
“It (friendship) is such a gift. Never take it for granted.
Nourish it. Most important, be the friend you want to

Friends For A Season
The Venuses have all lost friends along the way. We wish we’d known earlier that this is normal and natural. We may not keep all friends forever. Some relationships may fall away after time, for reasons known and unknown. It seems that there are seasons to certain friendships, and though we may grieve,we now understand that no fault exists when we don’t remain close to a particular friend forever. We keep the memory of what was best in that friendship or take the lessons we learned to enrich our subsequent relationships. What never changes, once we acknowledge its centrality to our lives, is our need for intimate female connection.

Bobbi-Venus underscores this simply:

“My friendships are one of the most important things in my
life and I do my best to nurture them. My friends are those
I trust with my journey, my struggles, my joys, my discoveries,
and wisdom, my failures and pain. Friendships are sacred. Friends
are honest and supportive, nurturing to thesoul, accepting of our love,
and there for us when we need
them most.

Basically, I’d die without my girlfriends!”

That just about says it all.

(Some material adapted from the chronicle of the Venuses’ adventures “The Big M”.) Visit www.thebigmwebsite to purchase or to download Chapter One for free or click the link below.

Buy The Big M

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Vaginal Dryness and The Big M: The Painful Truth


When I was a young girl, vaginas were not a topic for polite conversation. Or any kind of conversation, save in the odd sex education class.

Times have changed. And with the advent of Menopause, so have we. The Big M is not polite, and we need to confront one of its more disturbing manifestations head-on. Namely, vaginal dryness.

It isn’t vaginal dryness that we notice right off the bat. It’s the first time we have sex and it HURTS. A normal, healthy sex life is something most of us have taken for granted for many years. Suddenly, physical intimacy becomes pain. Who saw that coming?

Loss of libido occurs and that is distressing enough. Yet, when desire returns and we find that sex is painful, it can be a devastating experience. I’ve received soooooooo many letters about this phenomenon. As one of the single goddesses wrote after a disastrous encounter, “It was one of the most humiliating experiences of my life.”

Because our normal lubrication has “dried up” with the hormonal changes of aging, we may need help. Thankfully, we have options these days.

Our best course of action is to supplement with a good lubricant. Use before intercourse and keep it handy in case you need a little more during. Emerita makes one of my favorites called “Natural Lubricant”, a water-based, non-greasy lubricant. It feels very similar to our own natural lubrication. Hence the name.

Emerita also makes a product called “OH! Warming Lubricant” which can help fuel the “fire down below” in a gentle, sensual way while providing “natural” lubrication. The Venuses like this one a lot. Available at health food stores, major drug store chains and direct from Mayo Clinic:

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Gotta Love Those Southern Menopause Goddesses


I’m not from the South. I have no roots or ancestral connections there, although my Mom and Dad retired to Alabama’s Gulf Coast some years ago. But I LOVE Southern women.

I love the steel magnolia- tell it like it is in such a genteel tone that you may not get it til later- way of communicating. And I especially love Southern women’s humor.

My latest fave is Shellie Rushing Tomlinson, who does “On The Porch” chats about All Things Southern.

Forward it to your menopause goddess sisters, and especially to all the men who will benefit greatly from her wisdom and understanding of how to deal with the Change.

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Menopause The Musical – It’s Not The Silent Passage Anymore!


“I’m having a hot flash
A tropical hot flash
My personal summer is really a bummer
I’m having a hot flash.”

lyrics from Menopause the Musical.

Theresa Venus and I went to see “Menopause the Musical” the other night. Fabulous, funny, outrageous, and true. We flat out loved it.

To the tunes of songs from our era, four gorgeous women of menopausal age sang about hot flashes, “brain collapse”, weight gain, and emotional meltdowns. We laughed so hard we cried. As did the large numbers of men in the audience. Hey, we aren’t the only ones going through this transition; our loved ones have to take the ride with us.

The only piece that didn’t quite resonate with us had to do with libido. These women were commiserating that their husbands didn’t want to have sex much anymore – and they needed to resort to Mother’s Other Little Helper: a vibrator.

While the segment was uproariously funny, it just didn’t describe the experience of most menopause goddesses I know. Oh sure, there is a rare one like Bobbi Venus who actually had an uptick in her libido with the Big M, but that just does not describe the usual story we hear. And live. Just ask our husbands. One day we lusted for them, the next we couldn’t remember what lust is.

Thankfully, our libido does return, though also thankfully not to the horndog levels of our twenties and thirties.

The musical ended with a celebration of the Change as the four principals walk out in slinky black trimmed with rhinestones. “We have changed,” they tell us – “for the better.” And they called all the women in the audience up to kick up their heels together on stage. A perfect finish.

If you get the chance, go see it when it comes to a town near you. And if you’ve already seen it, heck, call us up and we’ll go see it again with you.

For info, visit Menopause The Musical.

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MANopause – Men Go Through A Big M Too

"You know what your next book should be about?" my friend, Frank, blurted. "Manopause. Because there is definitely something major that happens to men, too, around this time of life."

Another dear friend of the masculine persuasion came over to "catch up" on his yearly visit to the island. "I’ve been going through some big changes," he sighed. "I’m re-evaluating everything. And I’m actually having night sweats, so there is a physical component to the changes." He went on to chronicle other changes occurring in his "Manopause": a libido gone AWOL, depression, a re-evaluation of his whole life. "It pisses me off that people just dismiss this as a "midlife crisis".

Right! I get that! Just like women being dismissed as "oh, she’s just going through the Change." As if it were an inconvenience that we need to get over, rather than the biggest cataclysm to shake us since puberty. We need support, not labels. And so do the men who are honest and aware enough to realize they are changing, too.

My husband, Dewitt, reminded me that he’d had big changes in his early fifties. He was visited by mood swings, generally feeling out of sorts, panic attacks, even the occasional hot flash. When we finally thought that it might be male menopause or andropause, we found corroboration of his symptoms on the net. He says that the biggest help for him was just finding out he was not going nuts. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it?

Dr Jed Diamond, psychotherapist and author of Male Menopause (sadly out of print, but check out his website link below) talks about the scope of male menopause.

"There are a number of changes that men go through: hormonal, physiological, interpersonal, sexual and spiritual.
When you think of midlife crisis, you think of the psychological or social changes, like when men act in a way that focuses upon youth. We ignore the hormonal and physiological changes. With women, we think the opposite, emphasizing the physiological changes.”

Dr Diamond says the main problem for men is denial. Or as my husband quips, "Maybe they have TV on too loud to notice it. What doesn’t make the remote disappear makes you stronger."

I think an equally important problem actually might be silence, just like for us goddesses. If women didn’t talk about the Big M historically – men REALLY didn’t talk about it. And don’t. And that needs to change.

Below are a few resources to get the process started. Share them with your husbands, brothers, fathers, and friends. Help them start the conversation.

Wellsphere Health Blogger Cathy Taylor’s site at
Jed Diamond’s site at

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