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Maintaining a Healthy Sex Life During and After Menopause

Butterflies Together © lynette sheppard

Butterflies Together © lynette sheppard

Please enjoy this guest post submitted by Angela Peck.

When most people hear the phrase “The Change,” a slew of unsavory side effects come to mind, with hot flashes, night sweats, and insomnia among them. But perhaps the most frustrating problem facing women during menopause is the loss of sex drive. Though completely normal, a lack of desire for intimacy often leads to feelings of guilt and sadness, and it can create a rift in your relationship with your partner. According to, nearly 50 percent of menopausal women confess to experiencing these emotional aspects of menopause in addition to the physical ones. But contrary to popular opinion that menopause causes your vagina to shrivel up overnight (and your sex life along with it), there are steps you can take to maintain a healthy libido during your second act.

Live a Healthy Lifestyle

Though many may not realize it, your overall health has a direct impact on your love life. A poor diet or unhealthy habits can lead to a dismal sex drive, causing an already low libido to further dip. Woman’s Day reveals that one of the best ways to amp up your sex drive is to work on your health first. This means eating a nutritious diet, exercising regularly, maintaining a healthy weight, getting enough sleep, and not smoking.

Along with leading a healthy lifestyle, any existing medical conditions, such as diabetes or high blood pressure, should be properly treated. Managing these issues not only improves your overall health, but it can often enhance your sex drive.

Invest in a Good Lubricant

Vaginal dryness is a reality of sex after menopause, and one that most women experience. Less estrogen means less blood flow to your erogenous zones, which often leads to dryness and, as a result, painful sex. In order to make sex more comfortable, lubricant is a must. If you’ve never used lube before, it can seem intimidating at first. But as Adam and Eve points out, making use of a quality lubricant, particularly those of the silicone-based variety, is often the best way to mimic your own natural lubrication.

If pain during sex persists, even with the aid of a lubricant, you may want to ask your doctor about prescription medications designed to combat dryness. Vaginal creams are a popular option and typically have fewer side effects than oral hormones.

Communicate with Your Partner

Maintaining a healthy sex life during menopause relies on two things: open communication with your significant other and persistence. Talking with your partner about the emotional and physical obstacles you’re experiencing can help assuage worries you both may have about the future of your sexual relationship.

Because menopause affects every woman differently, there will likely be ups and downs when it comes to desire. During times of decreased libido, WebMD suggests taking the focus off of intercourse. Try spending more time on foreplay and explore other varieties of intimacy with your partner, such as massage or oral sex. The most important thing you can do to rev up libido is make sure that your sex life doesn’t come to a screeching halt. The act of intercourse alone stimulates blood flow to the vagina, keeping it healthy—and you and your partner happy.

Though menopause does signal the end of an era, it doesn’t have to mean the end of your sex life. With a few simple steps, you can enjoy this second stage of your life—both in and out of the bedroom—fully.

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Sex After Menopause? You Bet!

Vibrant Nation Live Event
Is sex a big issue for menopausal women? You bet it is. Our Menopause Goddess group was not obsessed with sex during the Big M. We were obsessed with why we were no longer obsessed or even interested. Libido took a vacation for most of us and it was disconcerting to us and our spouses.

We women deal with so many physical and emotional changes during and after menopause. Small wonder that some of these changes can take a real toll on our relationships, including our sex life.

To complicate matters, it’s often difficult to find straightforward, trustworthy information about how to deal with issues like changes in our libido, pain during sexual intercourse. Hey, that very lack is how our Menopause Goddess group and this blog came into being.

That’s why I’m excited and delighted to share with you that Vibrant Nation, the leading online community for women 45+, is having its first ever Live webcast discussion, Sex After Menopause. On March 31, 2015 at 1:00pm EST, Vibrant Nation sexual health expert and blogger Dr. Barb DePree will lead a panel of women in sharing their stories and advice for getting that spark back in the bedroom.

As most of you know, I am a big proponent on women sharing information with each other. Come join our down-to-earth discussion about reclaiming our sexy.

Disclosure: I am participating in a Vibrant Influencer Network campaign. I am receiving a fee for posting; however, the opinions expressed in this post are my own. I am in no way affiliated with Pfizer and do not earn a commission or percent of sales.

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Oh Libido, Where Art Thou?

Redwall Cavern and Dories © lynette sheppard

Hi there Goddesses. I just got back from a long, glorious trip down the Colorado River through the Grand Canyon. And yes, there were a number of menopausal goddesses on the trip. You can imagine that the conversation turned to the Big M, now and again. We all fared wonderfully on our trip with Grand Canyon Dories. A big shout out to my webmaster, Bill, who posted the blogs in my absence, and graced us with his photos.

Upon returning home, I jumped right into our annual Menopause Goddess gathering – and we all agree that it was the best one yet. I’ll be debriefing in further blog posts – just have to digest it all. One of our perennial topics is libido or the lack thereof. Many of us who see the worst of menopause in our rear view mirror find that our libido returned. Somewhat. I have to say that unbridled lust seems to be a thing of the past. If Brad Pitt showed up naked at the front door, well, I’d definitely take pix, but otherwise? Too much trouble. Just sayin’…

Naturally, we want to be intimate with our spouses or significant others. That’s part of a life we’ve built together. Still, we may long (together) for the days when libido ruled.

That’s why I just LOVE Celia Ramsay’s music video “Lament”. Check it out:

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Having A Healthy Sex Life After Menopause

Dry Leaf © lynette sheppard

Loss of desire. Vaginal dryness. Painful intercourse. All of these Menopausal symptoms might seem like the beginning of the end of a vibrant sex life. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

I’m a big fan of vaginal lubricants (check out the Menopause Marketplace for a few recommendations.) Vaginal estrogen can also help (prescription required).  Now I’m delighted to highlight another great find: Replens Long-Lasting Feminine Moisturizer It’s not a lubricant and contains no estrogen. It is an actual moisture that replaces or enhances your own vaginal moisture. You can use it and it lasts 3-5 days.

Want to know more about regaining and reclaiming intimacy? Check out my video interview with Dr. Pepper Schwartz below.

Menopause Goddess Blog and Replens want you to Reconnect, Rekindle, and Rediscover your sexual intimacy. So for the first five women to “Like” Menopause Goddess Blog and Replens on Facebook, we’ll send you a free box of Replens.

Just click on the like button for Menopause Goddess Blog, on the right of this webpage under Follow Lynette, then go to and “like” their page. Lastly, send me an email to to let me know you’ve liked our 2 pages. I’ll contact the winners and get your contact info so your Replens can be sent. What could be easier?  You’ll be on your way to enjoying sex more.

BTW – Dr. Schwartz has a new book out titled Prime, Adventures and Advice on Sex, Love, and the Sensual Years. I’ll be reviewing it here one Menopause Goddess Blog. It’s my new beach read!

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